We were pushed into marriage and we now have 2 kids to think about. I'm willing to move on but she dont want to let me go. WHAT DO I DO??????
2006-06-26 09:29:54 · 14 answers · asked by Adam H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to stay and make it work at least until the kids are grown and out of the house. Life is hard so keep trying. Get some marriage counseling if needed but keep it together. Read your marriage vows again. It is a life contract.
Good luck!
G.G.
2006-06-26 09:40:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Pushed into marriage" and you now have 2 kids. Are they twins? If not, this means that you endured long enough to have the second kid. Sometime people say things to get some simpathy so that they can be encouraged to do what they have in mind to do. What happened to "love"? Please think back, when you were dating your spouse (if you ever dated), when you slept with her, was there never a time when you felt you loved her?
I do not think that divorce is the solution. Even if you get through with this, it will be the begining of a life of divorce. The next lady you'll marry may end up divorcing you, then you have to marry yet again!
Why don't you think back to your first love. I believe it is possible for you to love again. There're several things you don't particularly like about your wife. Discuss these things with her and where possible, teach her the things you'll love in a family. Both of you will start developing your friendship once again and as long as you see each other often, love is bound to develop, then instead of divorce, you'll be asking how and what time is best for a wedding anniversary!
Wish you the best!!!
2006-06-26 16:47:20 · answer #2 · answered by Saintpi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all - nobody is "pushed" into marriage. You made a choice. Don't be a coward and act as if you didn't.
Only you really know what you want but don't stay just for the kids. Yes, kids do need 2 parents and you can't leave the home and then leave them behind. However, you deserve to be happy and so does she, kids or no kids. As long as you love the kids and spend time with them, have an amicable relationship w/ your former spouse you will be ok. Give yourself the chance and give your wife the chance to fall in love with someone else and really be happy.
Are you having an affair?
2006-06-26 16:41:43 · answer #3 · answered by yetty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you have the answer to that my friend. no one can really answer that one for you.
Do you love her?
What was it that attracted you to her in the first place?
Find those things that you liked and even loved about each other and work back at trying to get that. Try being friends - work at it first before regretting a break. You owe that much to the kids.
but, don't ever stay somewhere where you both are just going through the motions. And be careful at the way you treat each other in front of the kids. If a break is enviable - play nice both of you. Don't say harsh things to them about their mom or vice versa. Respect each other at the least. You don't want your kids messed up with their own relationships.
2006-06-26 16:39:09 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't happy how can anyone else be happy, it sounds like the Mrs has a few issues she needs 2 deal with b4 she can move on herself. Don't stay 4 the sake of the kids talking from experience it doesn't work, but by all means keep in touch with them if you decide 2. If you're not happy then you will make everyone around you miserable as well.......
2006-06-26 16:40:54 · answer #5 · answered by angjaimeang 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two words for you that will change your life for the better, change your wife's life for the better and change your children's life for the better. Before you read the two words though, you should really decide if you are willing to make it better OR if you're already "checked out" of the marriage. If you're checked out, then every little thing is going to feel like "enough".
Couples Counseling. Once a week. at least for 6 to 12 sessions. Period. You two are not capable of fixing it alone (no one is).
2006-06-26 16:38:03 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. Phil-lys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u know how many people was push into married,i was.even though later i realize it wasn't right.but just because i care about the other feel ins i stay and i learn to accept it.and try my best to make things work.because i believe in god and i put him first that why am still here.i know that you love her.so learn to accept that you are in it.so try again even if it's for the kids.don't expect miracle over night,things take time.discuss what causing you to want out of it to her.and maybe she work on keeping you both happy.cause she sound willing some woman would just let you go.so bear with it.be patient,
2006-06-26 16:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by tigerisexxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her and go to a divorce attorney. You will need to remain seperated for a specific amount of time before you can move forward with a divorce. She should get how servious you are once she sees it in writing. Why would she want to hold onto something that is already gone?
2006-06-26 16:34:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, it's normally the other way around. Only let me say this, NO one literally No one can tell you when to let go. That is Your decision alone, because whatever the out come, You have to deal with it. It won't be easy, especially if she's not agreeing, but it can be done if you get prepared.
2006-06-26 16:37:29 · answer #9 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when it is over it is over, if you have had enough then go, dont look back , take care of your kids and be there for them and only them. if you were pushed into marriage you already knew it wasnt going to work. your special someone is out there find her. and take care of your kids.
2006-06-26 16:36:33 · answer #10 · answered by Christina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋