Have i lost my mind...please help...Im i going too far..?

Question

so my hubby cheated, with a co-worker who was also married, i found out confronted them my hubby, the homewrecker, and her hubby... that is over with.. BUT i hate my hubby and her so much i want to destroy them both.. She is now having an affair with another co-worker who is also married and has a 2 week old baby.. I have hired a investigator to provide me w/ pic so i can tell his wife.. have i lost my mind??? I dont think is fair for this whore to go arround homewrecking others ... have i gone too far...?
Im willing to spend $$$ to c her destroyed......I cant let her get away with destroying others how she did to me....

Answer 1

No you havn't. I probably would have done the same thing.

Answer 2

i can understand you're on an anger kick and i don't blame you. however, you are going a little too far.
it sounds to me like you're handing this other woman the husband's part of the responsibility for the cheating. probably even both husbands. on an anger trip, you hired a PI to get evidence of her screwing around again. i'm not sure what i would do in your place.
forget about destroying her. it won't help you any and indulging those feelings may do you more harm than she and your husband have.
i understand your need to let the other wife know she's being cheated on, now that you have the information, and i would feel the same. maybe you should contact the husband instead. tell him you have proof of his cheating and that you are giving him a change to get his act together or else you'll go to his wife. maybe you can save this marriage. maybe if he is confronted with the possibility of losing his wife and little baby he will change his attitude, before the wife ever catches on that there is something wrong.
but after you have done that, walk away from all of them, just start over somewhere else and do your best to cut all ties. your first priority should be to find your happiness again. you won't be able to do it until you get away from them and what they maybe doing.

Answer 3

Yes you are going too far. I understand why you are mad but you are forgetting one key person in your husband's affair with the "homewrecker"..........................and that's your husband. I highly doubt that she had to tie him down and force him to cheat on you. That woman doesn't owe you anything however your husband does. He promised to love, cherish, and be with only you forever and ever and he broke that promise. He is the one you are mad at not her.

Seeing as how extreme you are taking this whole thing I have to wonder what part your attitude played in him cheating in the beginning. Again while I understand your anger you are taking it way too far and I have to wonder if you don't fly off the handle about a lot of things. 80% of the time happily married men don't stray so you may want to take a look in the mirror and see what he wasn't getting at home that he felt he needed to turn to someone else to get. I know its easy to blame her and label her a homewrecker however your husband is just as much if not more to blame than her.

You need to quit focusing on revenge and decide if you are going to a.) attempt to save your marriage or b.) move on. "Destroying" this woman isn't going to make you feel any better and its not going to change what happened in the past. You have a choice to make and thats to either try to work it out which also means be willing to admit your own part in you and your husbands problems or divorcing him and moving on with your life. Take the high road. Revenge never solved anything I can assure you

Answer 4

Save your money from the P.I. and invest in professional therapy or a second honeymoon... "destroying" a person is not going to change the fact that your husband cheated on you. Your husband is not a "victim" of any kind and he cheated too. You have to find more construtive ways of dealing with the anger and frustation of cheating other than chanelling of your energy into getting revenge.

Is natural that you have this type of feelings and want to somehow get revenge.... but this has turned into an unhealthy obsession to you. What you need is closure and you won't get it this way. Be happy that your husband is back and, for your own sake, you have to let go and move on.

Be a lady and show some class. Obviuosly, she is a $lut and she is not worth your cash. She will get divine punishment and you will not have to move a finger, that will give you more satisfaction than anything else.

Good luck

Answer 5

You are only tearing yourself up worse. What is this going to prove? How is this going to HELP YOU? You have vented here and I understand your anger. People here will understand your anger but YES, you are taking it too far. This kind of thing happens. If you want to throw money away, why don't you email me and I'll give you my address - I can use the money for good instead of evil. So this lady is a horrible person. What goes around comes around. She'll get hers someday. Plus, if you want to show this woman's hubby the pic, then aren't YOU ALSO being a homewrecker? What if he decides to stop on his own and feels bad about it? People have affairs - it happens. It is unfortunate but true. You aren't any bigger of a person if you are planning to wreck another marriage. How far does this have to go?

Answer 6

I dont blame you for wanting to get revenge. Think carefully about the effects of the other wife before you decide to tell her. If you were in her place (which you were) would you want someone to tell you that your husband was cheating on you? You're now getting in the middle of not only this homewrecker's life but this other wife too. Personally I would but just be sure that you're doing it for the right reason. you're not going crazy but I would suggest counseling so you can cope with your own situation better.

Answer 7

well for starters she did homewreck your marriage, you husbandf did, if there is anyone to be mad at its HIM, you are being just like her but in a different way, why do you even try to do this, two wrongs dont make one right, you are stooping to her level, she knows that you are to, is that how you wanna be remebered, no i dont hink so, if i were you i would hire an investagor to protect your rights in court if you decided to leave your husband, all always try to remeber like the saying goes "DONT HATE THE PLAYER HATE THE GAME" and once all your anger is gone the pain will set in then what, now not only has husband slept with another women but he broke every rule in the book, and believe when i tell you this, he WILL do it again, and if your willing to live with that then so be it, rember you husband is the one for causing your pain he shoudl have known before he did anything with her that the chances were great of the truth getting out. Why do you continue to stay becuase you love him, please get over that real fast, becuase like i said he played you once like the fool he will do it again, be smarteer and wiser this time around becuase its not her fault she slept with him, she should have remeber ed her morales as well, but of course they both let the lust get the best of them.Wel always seem to wanna get back at the OTHER women when in fact you should hate his *** and kick him out, by staying what puinishment does he get NONE, and so he knows he gets away with it he will do it again, Kick his *** out and move on

Answer 8

Destroy the homewrecker!!!!She is a problem that must be dealt with women like her never change untill they ruin everyones marriage.An amazing idea would be to scan these pics onto your computer then get the email adress of all her associates your husband probably has them,then send a message to everyone at her company,especiallyanybody high up cuz at most companies intercompany dating is against the rules,she'll probably get fired.I don't suggest you tell your husband your doing this or ask him directly for the email adresses he might tip her off.I would also include a list of all she has done.

Answer 9

Hey, I did this before, and it's not worth it. You need to be forcing on your marriage, if there can still be one. My ex is miserable with one of his whores, and I'm working on getting my life set up for me and my kids. She will definitely get what's due, but try not to be a part of it, because it won't be pretty. If it's found out that you were this involved in her actions once pay back start hitting her in the face, you could be blamed some how. Let that part go, and you may want to let your hubby go too, if you want to have peace of mind now. You won't be able to trust him again, and the Bible gives you permission in this situation to get a divorce.

Answer 10

Don't think you have lost it, but you are so devastated and distressed that you are only focused on this woman who had an affair with your husband...what is happening with you and your husband now? (after all, he has to take at least HALF the responsibility for this betrayal) are you getting a divorce? are you seeking help from a marriage counselor? do you have children? If you are not going any of those routes; why not use $$$ just for yourself--take care of your mental state-cause while you are going through so m any changes and so much stress-this woman is going about her "business" and could care less about what you find out...(how do you know that HER husband DOES NOT know about her affairs already) .You need to assess yourself (with help) and sooner of later this woman (and your husband)and her unfaithfulness will catch up with her.I hope you do not continue to be distracted by this unfortunate event...you do need to talk to someone...I wish you well.

Answer 11

I'd quit wasting my time if I were you. Remember, what goes around, comes around. Invest your energy in yourself. My ex left when our second child was 2 weeks old. It wasn't for 3 months before that I learned his secretary was pregnant. Our son has a brother not even 9 months younger than him. You know what, reality says volumes more that we could ever be able to. Keep YOUR head high and avoid stooping so low as them--that says a lot right there. Everything happens for a reason. And yes, you might have lost your mind for the time being. Rest assured, it's reactionary and temporary. Don't worry about making anyone else's life hell...work on moving on and making yours better!!