I have been married for just under 10 yrs. We have been together about 12. I have been really unhappy for the past 5-6 yrs. We have two little girls. I have given up everything for my husband. I have left my family and friends and country to let him get the job that he wanted. He refuses counselling. He says that it it for losers, so I wrote him a letter last winter detailing everything and told him that if things didin't get better I would leave by June. Of course, he was pretty good until June hit. Now he is back to the old stuff. We had an arguement yesterday and I told him that I was going to take the kids and return to Canada at the end of July, he let out a big cheer and said that he couldn't wait. He always treats me like I am an idiot, he is better than me and we always argue over money. I always have to explain why and where I spent $20. He gets to do his things, but I am limited. My oldest daughter is showing his anger streak and the little one too. What to do
2006-06-26 08:59:47 · 13 answers · asked by cakelady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like you need to go. here's what i'd do.
don't say another word to him, just pack and leave one day while he's at work or something. i'm not sure going back to canada would be a good idea, at least not right away - i have a feeling there would be big custody issues. buy yourself some time while you look for a place to go to, i'm sure there are people that can help you find a place where you can rent a house/flat cheap and find a job, then just go with the girls and leave divorce papers for him to find at home. get the divorce and custody settled, then return to canada if you can/want to. good luck.
2006-06-26 09:16:01 · answer #1 · answered by gwenwifar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave,if you love your daugthers you will put their needs before your own do you want them to be copies of their father.Also,don't tell him or the kids when you are leaving just pack up you and your daugthers stuff anfd go that way they can't tell their father that you are leaving.You need to be careful though you can be in big trouble if you have joint custody over your daugthers and leave the country it is called custodial interference and is a big deal at least in the US.Also it is best not to give him any info just a note left someplace wher he'll find it stating your leaving ,taking the girls,not returning and tell him why you are going.He needs to know you are serious don't let him know where you are going!!!!
2006-06-26 16:15:12 · answer #2 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girly sometime it's time to call it quites and I would say you are that moment if you are able get back home to your roots go he'll pay for it in the end. It is hard but you are not alone it will be hard but for your kids to have happiness and you and no more stress and just be kids and mom and little struggles is better then them seeing a fight all the time and seeing there mom finally smile it will pay off in the end for you too. Good luck Wish you the best
2006-06-26 17:07:22 · answer #3 · answered by Cowvictor 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He told you clearly that he wants you to follow on your treat to leave. Is doesn't get clearer than that. Neither of you are happy and is affecting the kids. If he does't want to go to counseling is because he doesn't want to work on the relationship anymore. Would you like your daughters to be raised in this enviroment? You are teaching them that this is normal to live this way....
My advice to you: Hire a lawyer and take him to the cleaners. Get alimony and child support. Negotiate for you to be able to relocate to Canada with the kids, where you can have a place to stay and family support while you get back on your own feet.
Good luck
2006-06-26 16:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a huge step since there are kids & countries involved. Go for conseling alone till you are sure and then get legal counsel before you think about leaving the country.
2006-06-26 16:04:35 · answer #5 · answered by cloud9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE...... accept the fact that youve tried and thats all you can do,.... but if you stay then your little girls will grow up thinking thats how a man treats a woman and they'll stay with a jerk too..... dont think of yourself or your husbands feelings right now... think of your precious daughters.....
2006-06-26 16:03:50 · answer #6 · answered by heavensent41770 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6 years is a long of time to be unhappy. Leave him and go out with me, if you want counselling, I will go with you.
2006-06-26 16:08:16 · answer #7 · answered by handydaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack your things and leave with the kids. Bet he won't be cheering when he pays out those child support payments.
2006-06-26 16:07:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he tells u to leave becouse he thinks you wont,move on think what is best for u and your kids,remember they get the worst of it.Also after so many years if u given him the chance to change and he hasnt what makes you think he will ever change.remember people dont change only feelings do
2006-06-26 16:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by vito194 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave
2006-06-26 16:07:56 · answer #10 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋