I've been with my boyfriend for 8 yrs now, we bought a house together but we have no kids, he has cheated on me twice that i know of, on the second occasion i cheated on him 4 revenge but i fell in love with my lover. He is in love with me as well, he has asked me to get married & i said yes. When i asked my boyfriend about marriage he says he don't know. When i confronted him with his last affair he said he'll change, all he wants is to be with me. I'm confused now, i love both of them but i think i need something new, my lover wants me to leave my boyfriend and my boyfriend wants me to stay, i don't trust him though(boyfriend). I am confused & don't know what to do, any advise out there?
2006-06-26 08:54:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to ask yourself three questions. 1. If I give my boyfriend another try will he really change or would things eventually go back to how its is now? 2. Would my lover always have respect and trust for me knowing dat I cheated on my boyfriend or will he eventually use it as a tool when/if tings go bad for us? 3. What do I want or more specific whom do I want to spend the rest of my life with. Is it love or pity or guilt dat makes me stay or want to go. At the end of the day you need to be happy with yourself for you and not for anyone. Only den can the person you end up with be happy with you.
2006-06-27 03:49:15 · answer #1 · answered by Queen WahidVII 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is one of those situations where there are very few right answers. How long have you been with the new guy? That's something to consider, because you obviously know the boyfriend better that the new guy ( which could sway you either way). The other questions you need to ask yourself are can you ever trust the boyfriend again ( do you even believe that he won't cheat again???) and if you can't then can you spend the rest of your life with someone you can't trust. In my opinion trust is one of the most sacred parts of a relationship that is that intimate, or any relationship for that matter. The bottom line is that the only person who can tell you the right thing to do here is you...... Only you know which love is realer, which is deeper, and which is more important to you. It may be that you need to take a few days away from both and see how that focuses your thoughts. Good Luck.
2006-06-26 09:05:13 · answer #2 · answered by joey_ploof 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it will be, deep down I believe you know the answer already. Personally, I don't think you should stay with someone that cheats - they rarely change. If you love the other, be with him, but I would definitely hold off on marriage a bit. This man you love and loves you knows you cheated - so deep down, that will always be in his heart...the wondering, will she cheat on me? I know that's how I'd feel - wouldn't you? Take your time, and good luck. :)
2006-06-26 09:08:19 · answer #3 · answered by luvwhitelilacs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave him, and go get married. You don't have any kids so you really aren't hurting anyone but him. If he ceated on you twice, what makes you think that he wont do it again. You don't have to take my advice, im sure any decision you make will be the best for you.
2006-06-26 09:00:59 · answer #4 · answered by [[Junior]] 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all--- choose 1 and quit leading the other on.... if you think marriage is easy or perfect then your wrong... you have more problems after marriage then you did before. you neednt rush into marriage. and i personally dont think revenge relationships work.... but i could be wrong... you need to sit down and think out all the pros and cons about each guy and put all your heart and brains into it then choose and no matter how hard its gonna be or how afraid of hurting the guy is gonna be... you need to choose one right away or your liable to lose them both.
2006-06-26 08:59:11 · answer #5 · answered by heavensent41770 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you wanna try somrthing new give it a try. stop letting your boyfriend control your true feelings. if he hasnt changed all this time. well his is up go with the lover
2006-06-26 08:59:02 · answer #6 · answered by trebor h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with the one who showed you love from the start who made you smile again he only says he's going to change because you caught him again move on and be with the one who will make you Happy
2006-06-26 09:01:59 · answer #7 · answered by ♥*♥Bahamian Gal♥*♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋