interracial dating?

Question

please help, im white and half puerto rican and my boyfriend is black. hes so sweet. hes not the typical "black guy" that most people stereotype. hes extremlly bright, sweet, caring, and not to mention, he loves me so much. he treats me with so much respect and dignity. the only thing is is that my parents have no idea of our newly established relationship. they just think hes my best freind (this is what i tod them) they do not want me dating a black guy becuae they think there is a lot of rascim out there that will hurt me. they want to protect me so much that the guy i love is a huge secret. his parents know about us and have no problem, everyone at highschool know, but my parents have no idea. and my boyfreind has no idea that my parents dont know we are dating. WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!?!?! please help.

-alicia

Answer 1

I feel great about it! I really don't mind interracial dating. I think its beautiful when people can express their feelings and not bow to the status que placed on us by society. People forget the culture of america and so it seems, there isn't what they would describe a "problem" with this situation, They choose not to address it, well the "problem" is people being color blind, to the specifics of the word, BLIND TO THE COLORS AROUND YOU. They are unwilling to accept them and hence they are not there or you are blind to them. I don't believe in color blindness, its ignorance, it needs to change, be aware of the wonderous variety around you and accept it. I Think its extremly interesting to learn about other people's ways of life. I think its really sad that people of any race can simply 'dis' others becuase they are of any color.

Answer 2

Your parents are correct. However, you are going with your heart and not your mind. One thing, you are weaving a very tangled web by lying to your boyfriend. If he's so great and wonderful why do you have to lie to him. You are being unfair to him and somebody is going to find out the truth. Tell him now. He will still experience the hurt for your lies but it may be easier to deal with coming from you and not someone else. You don't sound as if you are mature enough to be in a relationship of this nature if you can't be truthful. Don't continue on with this relationship as it is now. It's hard enough having an inter-racial relationship without adding deceit to the list. Tell him the truth and the tackle the issue with your parents.

Answer 3

well, as what i've read if i'm not mistaken, i have to quote this...


"they just think hes my best freind (this is what i tod them) they do not want me dating a black guy becuae they think there is a lot of rascim out there that will hurt me. they want to protect me so much that the guy i love is a huge secret. his parents know about us and have no problem, everyone at highschool know, but my parents have no idea."


first of all I think they are the exact people they are reffering about racist!!
second--- it's your choice! whatever they will say it is up to you who you wanted and what you want. They might get dissapointed but it's your decision. You have got to talk to your parents about your situation right now. Maybe they don't even care taht he is black but all they care maybe is that they don't want you to enter into relationships right now because your still in Highschool! sometimes in our early years we don't really know what's best for us although..we think we do!

talk to your parents about it. let them meet your boyfriend let him come over in your house NOt to stay there okay!!! like set up a day where they can get to know him better like set up a play night like scrabble or monopoly and play with your parents and your boyfriend. Of course tehy will setreotype any guy you will be dating because your their daughter they want to protect you. Just don't keep secrets that's just not gonna do good for you and your parents. Tell them. they will listen:) Hope that everything will work out for you

Answer 4

I am 48 and have experienced the drama and the hatred that your parents want to protect you from. Would I do it again...yes. would i sneak behind my parents back.....not so sure. Yet, i sense from you not that your parents are prejudice, just concerned for you. Twenty years ago when I was with my boyfriend it was still dangerous for mixed couples to be together. I won't worry you with the details. but I experienced first hand some dangerous stuff. Talk to your parents and try to also see things from their point of view. Basing this on the assumption that they are concerned for you and not prejudice that is. Do they know him? Outside of the dating thing do they like him? And how old are you anyway? I wish I could help you more but I seem to have more questions then answers. Please do not engage your parents w/arguements and such. Keep the lines of communication open and let them see for themselves what a nice guy he is.

Answer 5

First of all, stop obssessing so much about your boyfriend. Read on- look outside your box and look in. Your parents don't know, huh? Maybe they have caught on without you realizing. It's really not hard to see the relationship between two people. Second, if he is that perfect, then why haven't I heard about him first? i.e. "The Perfect Man" If he is so sweet, then maybe you have rose colored glasses on-- or I'll give you some credit. Maybe he is! But this will change soon enough. I'm not bitter - trust me, everyone has bad days & everyone shows their true colors. Finally, it doesn't matter who you date, just what's on the inside. If this is the man of your dreams that does not treat you with hurting words or physical abuse, then he is perfect for you. Have a wonderful relationship-- but let the two people who are supposed to be there for you unconditionally know what you're doing once in a while, will ya? They might just agree with you. *Surprise*

Answer 6

when I was young my parent said they would disown me if I ever dated a black man. But when I got older I met this really nice black guy who treated me like gold(i am white). When I knew we were "for real" I went home and told my parents, they met him and liked him. I was not disowned and I married him and we have 2 kids.

I have never had anyone say anything about being with a black guy and I never get any odd looks. I think people are more excepting of it now a days. Any way your parents are interracial, tell then that you love him and you want to be with him and if anyone ever says anything to you that you are mature enough to Handel it a civilized way.

Also ask then how they dealt with racism when they were dating, and ask if it was worth it, I an sure they will say it was.

Answer 7

Just be yourself and be open and honest. They might not like it at first, but they will get over it eventually. It seems funny that you are 1/2 white and 1/2 Puerto Rican and that they have a problem with inter-racial relationships...

Answer 8

If you love him, you already have your answer. When it comes time to tell your parents, explain to them that you understand their concerns, but your heart needs to continue to explore this relationship further whether it works out or not. Recommend to them that any attempts on their part to keep you apart may backfire badly. Tell them you know they just want to protect you, but that you'd really like and could really use their support right now. It may sound crazy, but consider having your boyfriend approach them with you. It may show them that you're serious about seeking their guidance, protection and approval.

Answer 9

what is a typical "black guy" just by you doing this you seperate one from the other.. You propegate but have no idea how you are doing it. Most black people are extremely bright,, sweet , and caring.

You are part of the problem.

look deeper

Answer 10

Someone just told me that Puerto Ricans were so mixed that they didn't worry about racial issues. Hmmm. Well, that's neither here nor there.

I'd say, continue to lie to and deceive your dad and mom. You know best what's good for you.