Hi; I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 years. But after the last 3 years of turmoil including him constantly lying, cheating and not spending time with me and not doing what he needs to do to fix things - I have decided to end the relationship. I still love him alot and care about him and can't imagine never talking to him and he is the same about me but he is also very manipulative and has a way of making me feel sorry for him. How do we end our relationship without feeling like someone died? Can we still be friends after 7 years even though we love each other still so much? Has anyone been able to maintain a totally platonic friendship with their ex that they had been with for several years? Please help.
2006-06-26 08:26:16 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nope. It's not possible. There will be complications...like the next relationship you try to begin. The 'new' guy will always be threatened by the ex...and why not?
Look- trust me on this...you are leaving this relationship because he is "constantly lying, cheating, and not spending time with you" etc.
Why would you want to keep him in your life at all?
Give yourself a clean break, and a fresh start. Maybe you've grown past him, and the 'new' you knows she can do a whole lot better. No one deserves to be lied to and cheated on. No one needs liars and cheats in their lives at all.
You will forget about this guy once your feelings for someone new are stronger than the feelings you had for the ex.
You're not the same person you were 7 years ago, so go celebrate the newer, better you!
I've been able to maintain 'friendly' relations with ex's, but that's about it. I don't see any of them regularly (don't want to), and there's no 'ghosts from the past' to haunt the awesome relationship I'm in now.
Make the break clean...and complete. It's the fastest way to get past it.
Good Luck!
2006-06-26 08:38:25 · answer #1 · answered by wrdsmth495 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was with my "x" for 6 years...we stop talking completely for about a year and half...After that he called me...and we talk once in a while and even though there are certain things we don't talk about (other partners as an example) , but other than that we can hold a decent conversation...But i think the healthy thing to do is to completely let go for a few..until your feeling and mind have cleared up a bit...and then perhaps you guys can have a friendship.
2006-06-26 08:43:20 · answer #2 · answered by brina27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have all though it's wasn't 7 years it was 3. But we have been able to remain the closest of friends. You guys just have to be mature and your ex man doesn't seem like the type. Will he be able to handle you getting on with your life with out laying a guilt trip on you? If not I think you should cut your losses and move on.
2006-06-26 08:33:30 · answer #3 · answered by sexzbich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am able to have relationship with my ex -husband after 10 years. It helps that we live far apart plus we share a child together. I'm in another relationship and so is he. Even if we lived close together we would at least remain civil but to have a plutonic relationship such as close friendship no way...you just have to move on...that doesn't mean you have to stop caring about him.
2006-06-26 08:39:57 · answer #4 · answered by miss-snoopy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was w/ someone just like him for 9 yrs. Only when the both of us agreed he was nothing but scum, then we were able to become friends.
2006-06-26 08:33:30 · answer #5 · answered by Julie G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you still love him there is noway that you will stay just friends, you cannot ignore love and just be friends, good luck I know it is not easy at all.
2006-06-26 08:31:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah photoguy is right.you can maintain that so called friendship but you gotta give it up.
2006-06-26 08:54:37 · answer #7 · answered by Goldenboy1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nah, you gotta give it up once in a while to stay friends with him
2006-06-26 08:30:33 · answer #8 · answered by photoguy1967 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋