My boyfriend and I have been a couple for four years exclusively. I would like to take it to the next level. He says he may want to get married some day, and I don't want to push him in a cruel way, but is there a way to give him a gentle nudge?
2006-06-26 08:15:36 · 30 answers · asked by crazymomma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't nudge him...just be happy that you have him in the way you do...When he is ready he will ask...if you nudge him he may get upset and think that you are trying to force him...Be happy where you are...You know he loves you...and that should be enough to make you happy.
2006-06-26 08:19:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
No, there isn't. To be clear about this, he has the married life without the piece of paper, (men term for marriage license). So, what would make him want to change anything where there's not a problem? Someday to him may not be including you, if you try to force this hand. If you're ready for marriage, you may be with another partner. I've seen guys string females on for ten years, then end up marrying someone else. In the event that this turn out to be the case, seriously for your sake, I hope not, at least go into the relationship being honest. You are hoping for marriage eventually if you decide to get involved.
2006-06-26 08:33:25 · answer #2 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot twist his arm to ask you to marry him. He said that he wants to get married "someday", so that means "NOT NOW".
Men need to feel financially secure before taking a relationship to the next step and when they do, they will be always giving hints and put the subject on the table, so there is no surprise....you both already know where you are heading when you are absolutly sure.
If he avoids the subject is because he is clearly not ready. If yuo guys have been together for 4 yeears already, you can ask tell him that you would like to know where your relationship is heading, so you can either settle down or move on.
Good luck
2006-06-26 08:32:06 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think it is time you told him how you feel. Surely if he loves you there is no reason whatsoever to get married. What possible reason could there be not to after four years? If he really doesn't want to, then you should question his commitment to the relationship. In no way should you think you are being "pushy" by trying to move onto the "next level" and get married. Four years is a long time. Go for it! I hope to hear wedding bells very soon!
2006-06-26 08:21:13 · answer #4 · answered by Modern Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there isnt anyway and dont think to get pregnant he has to feel comfortable enough to take the next step trying to give him a nudge isnt good if u rush him and u do get married things will probably turn out bad for u 2 u can i know 4 years is alot on u but u should of said something when u hit the 3rd yea your mouth should of been wide open i know playing house is getting old and u want more but he has to come forth
2006-06-26 08:21:14 · answer #5 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This might be just my opinion but if the guy wants to marry you, he doesn't think about it, he doesn't stall, he doesn't hold back - he insists you go looking for rings, and he talks about it all the time - what kind of wedding, what kind of honeymoon - my husband starting bringing all that up a month after we met - we were engaged 3 months later. We saved up our money and and have now been married nearly a year, known each other a total of 3. I never had to wonder or worry about when he was going to bring up that subject -- when it's the right guy, it all falls into place and seems effortless. I don't think this is the right guy for you.
2006-06-26 08:20:16 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about marriage and if he avoids the subject then you need to try to let him go. If he wants you then he will come back with a better plan. If you try to make him marry you he will resent you and it won't work. You also have to consider his age. Most men are not ready to get married between 18-25. I was in a relationship for 4yr8ms and he never wanted to talk about it. His family tried to push him by saying (excuse my words) "Either s - - t or get off the pot". He finally got off the pot and I met my Husband 3 months later. Love of my life and we have been together 4 yrs and have a 20month old son. Good Luck to ya
2006-06-26 08:31:34 · answer #7 · answered by H M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For four years you say! Have you discuss this with him to know exactly what is going on in his head. Have you both finished your education have both of you set your future goals as to where you are heading. Marriage take a lot you both have to work hard to make it work it not all about sex and fooling around baby come and it all your responsibility it a give and take share responsible once you have tie the knot that it they become a different person after ward, Make sure you think things thorugh carefully don't pressure if he cares let him do the asking.
2006-06-26 08:26:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do don't push. If he isn't ready than you may have to wait. if you are sleeping with him you may as well kiss it all goodbye...he is getting what he wants without the commitment of marriage...so stop the sex and I bet he will either say lets get married or you will find out that he is really not the guy you want to be with
2006-06-26 08:20:46 · answer #9 · answered by EmmaGee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs more than a gentle nudge after four years...! If it's on your mind, discuss it openly with him... it will also give you a gauge as to where the relationship is at. Good luck!
2006-06-26 08:19:35 · answer #10 · answered by sparksfly01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to sit down with mine and be like- Hey, this is what I want... what do you think? I am getting older so I like to have kids one day... so I sat down and had a long talk with him about marraige and how I saw my life in the next couple of years and in 10 years.
Just be honest and truthful but don't push him. I actually left my last relationship before meeting my FI because the guy didn't want to settle down.
2006-06-26 08:20:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋