when your spouse suddenly begins to tell small lies and covers up with stupid answers and becomes defensive and manipulates your mind. and twists by putting the blame on you instead of confronting. inother words you catch the lie and she/ he puts the blame on you.
what does this mean?
2006-06-26 08:11:34 · 21 answers · asked by set d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's covering up something...could be another woman...could be job problems...I don't know since you don't elaborate. The most common thing spouses will hide from one another is another lover, but there are other things they can hide from you (drug use, for example, or even a porn addiction). By throwing the blame all over you, he's taking the focus off of his lie. You need to find out why he's lying about whatever it is, but trust is one of the cornerstones of any relationship, and if that trust has been violated, you need to decide if this is worth salvaging or if you need to move on. What he's doing is called misdirection...much like any good magician would do. He's blowing smoke to cover up what he's up to. Good luck!
2006-06-26 08:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are hiding something.....but what is the question. There are never a situation that small lies are ok in a marriage. Then when you catch them at it, and turn it around and put the blame on you. Something definitely is going on, it could be something minor such a problem with a friend or family member. It also could be that they have done something or still doing something that they are ashamed of and don't want you to know about. Marriages can de destroyed over little things if both parties are not being truthful about everything. If you can't believe them over where they were or who they were talking to, then how can you believe them on anything....The blaming you is not even right and playing mind games is very disturbing, and again, you have to be able to believe and trust your partner--not have to wonder --you should know how they would react in any given situation--guessing games are for dating and fooling around, not husbands and wives....
2006-06-26 15:25:07 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a real problem. I looked at your other questions and they are all inter-related. You emailed me about one of the answers I gave to another question. Is she cheating or maybe on drugs? Druggies lie a lot and become very manipulative. Something is going and it's not a good something. If you can't straighten this out get out. If she is on drugs you can probably get custody of your son. Wish you the best.
2006-06-27 00:28:33 · answer #3 · answered by # one 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, but you should definitely just sit down and talk to him/her. No shouting allowed. You must communicate with each other openly and like adults. The key to any relationship is communication. Don't get me wrong, sometimes that's really hard, but you'll feel so much better afterwards. You can't just assume right away that your spouse is cheating.
2006-06-26 15:19:51 · answer #4 · answered by griff_chik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When eather one on the relationship tries to outsmart the other.. there is something shady going on..
Cheating could be it.. and if she is not the tipe to have experience on this she will get caught up in the lie...
She is playing the smart way out... blaming you to justify what she does.....
good luck and i hope is just a misunderstanding ...best wishes..
2006-06-26 15:17:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's doing something he feels guilty about therefore covering it up and putting that blame on others to cover up his own wrong doings and change the subject and focus of the issue.
2006-06-26 15:14:57 · answer #6 · answered by Cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it means were being stupid and disrespectful to ourselves so why in the world could we get mad at anyone for doing the same. hurt yes but mad no!! why does it hurt yes maybe cause we love them but really because our need for self respect is being challanged and yelling at us by making us a fool by their actions and we need a wake up call if we shose to listen fine, but if we chose to ignorre it or put it on snooze like an alarm every morning (THATS WHAT IM DOING) than so be it so **** or get off the pot as the old saying goes and ive just done both!!!! parable lol not for real HA HA HA give it up hon love yourself if he wont!!
2006-06-26 15:19:47 · answer #7 · answered by chatterbox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means you are living with a controling yet insecure person who makes themselves feel better by manipulating you.Not a good healthy relationship that you would want to stay in for long.
2006-06-26 15:17:45 · answer #8 · answered by miss-snoopy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He/she doesn't want to be with you. But if they try they tend to get tired and come back. So they lie to cover them selves up so you can feel bad while they do them and when you leave he/she guarentee they'll be crawling back.
2006-06-26 15:16:12 · answer #9 · answered by Ke Ke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds and smells like a cheat ting rat.
2006-06-26 15:26:45 · answer #10 · answered by shonnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋