A Guy's Problem About A Girl.?

Question

I'm 15.

There's a girl I've liked all my life. She's someone I see as someone I could potentially have a relationship with in the future. I really like her, and my few friends that know I like her try to convince me to go out with her, but I don't want to if she's not ready for a relationship, and probably won't be for a few years still. She said something today that really hurt me, something that was intended in a joking matter, but she knows not to go there. I really like her, and I don't want to be mad at her, but then again, if it was anyone else, I would have been so mad at them for so long. So now I don't know what to think. My feelings for her are real and legitimate, and I don't want to be mad at her for going there, but then again, she said it, and though she wouldn't usually, she did. I dont know what to do or what to think. Help?

I've known her for 9 years, and we're really close friends. She's usually not saying things like that, it was kind of a one time thing.

Answer 1

i am a girl........e-mail me at [e-mail] for more advice!! i would go for it!!!! ask her out if she says no then wait a few more years and ask her again no big deal.............one guy asked me out in 5 grade and i said no (cause i didn't like him that much then but he didn't know) then the next year all of a sudden we were dating!!!!!

Answer 2

First I think it is great that even though you care for her and hope for a future you are waiting. I think you are right to focus on friendship until you are sure she is ready for a (lasting) relationship.
If you are as close as it sounds I think you should confront her (privately) on what she said. Let her know that is was not ok and you don't expect to be treated this way by a friend. She most likely didn't mean to be hurtful but this way you will feel better and she will be aware that it is not ok to treat you that way.
I say focus on the friendship for now, but be sure she doesn't take advantage of your feelings for her (trust me most girls know). Expect the same from her that you do from your other friends even if she is special to you. Good luck, you sound like a very nice person!

Answer 3

okay first of all how old are you? guys and girls and people in general are all different so they mature at different rates. If your freind hurt you don't hold the pain in, take her talk to her, tell her she hurt you, and that you 2 could be cool if she never does that again and understands that it hurt. As far as the dating it all depends how old you are and how mature each of you are. Remember don't jump into anything you are not ready for. Things like sex can destory your life, you could be ready for a gf but are ya for a baby? Sorry I'm dumb just saw your age, don'tmine me I have pregnant brain.

Answer 4

tell her that what she did/said upset you and stuff. after you dont feel as bad about what she said then i would say go for it, but go slowly. dont take huge steps (at first especially) or you might scare her away. maybe invite her to a night out and see if she seemed to like it. maybe at the end instead of giving the traditional date kiss on the lips, you could kiss her cheek and have it mean that she is more than a friend to you and see how she reacts. she will feel special then. good luck! :-)

Answer 5

i liked and still like this guy who i went out with last year i dont think he was ready to go out and be in a realationship yet and ina few years he was ready to So ASK HER OUT. if she says no then keep trying im sure she'll evenually say yes and acually mean it. GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

for whatever reason she may not be ready now, but that doesnt mean you cant tell her how you feel... so, go ahead. get it off your chest. tell her whats on your mind, and tell her about her comments hurting you. there is nothing worse than holding feelings, anger, or frustrations in... with time, they tend to grow, and one day, you just might explode, or have anger issues for not letting it out when you should have.

Answer 7

hhhmmmm... alright dude just tell her how you feel if you have been freings for 9 years she should except what you have to say just tell her the joke she said hurt you.

and also just tell her how u feel about her you have nothing to lose by sharing your fealings

Answer 8

DONT U THINK SO THAT MAKING RELATIONS at this agewill disturb uur studies and career..?forget her..and wait 4 right age and girl.

Answer 9

ConfusedGuy,

I know what you are going through. Here is my story:

This guy used to have the biggest crush on me, like everyone knew. From Kindergarten to third grade he chased me on the playground, just to bother me. He loved me really bad, but I didn't like him. In fourth to fifth grade, we barely spoke. We went to different classes, and I really avoided him at recess. Then in sixth grade, he was in my homeroom. Everyone spoke of him bad rep. (talking back at teachers, etc.) from the first grade till now. After homeroom we went to English. (I am at a much highe level of English, but we had mixed English classes). Anyway, I had an assigned seat next to him and on the other side of me, his best friend. Now the boy who was crushing me started to turn his rep. around, because he was near me. Then, he wanted to sit next to me everyday, even when we could move our seats. I became his friend, finally understanding his life beyond school grounds. He askeed me out, next to my sister, on a school bus. Me, I didn't care. I am one to let a guy express himself when he has the confidence. I said no because I thought we were more friend material. In seventh grade, he spilled his life out to me. His mom had done something bad, so now he couldn't see her. He had to live with his dad, whom he hates. All of a sudden, I found myself needing to be around him, but not love. I wanted to help him, because I had had many problems before. Losing money, death, the whole enchilada. Now we couldn't be closer, (unless we were b/f and g/f).

She probably likes you, but not in that way. Give it time, get closer to her. If she said something harsh, don't take it to personally. Sometimes, things just slip out. Build up the confidence to ask her out. If she says no, then ask if you can at least be friends, because something may grow from that. You have feelings, so don't lose them. Take it one step at a time. I actually think it is beautiful when a guy asks a girl out. Not only because I've had expierience in that field, but because trthe confidence it takes to spill out your feelings. The best of luck to you. (And if she says yes, wait until you get home to cheer).
otter7

Answer 10

Talk to her about what she said and ask her why she did it knowing it would hurt you.