I was with my boyfriend for 2 years and then at work i met another man I tried to talk to my boyfriend about it but he never wanted to listen, three weeks ago i left and i left him a letter now he's hurting over this really broken hearted and i feel really horrible over this but i love this man i'm with and it makes it worse 2 weeks ago we were married my ex called today and i havent told him that i was married i just told him he needed to move on but today when he called i told him that t... and i were married and he needed to let go i'm not sure i made the right decision in telling him I think this will hurt him more but i just want him to move on and stop calling its causing problems with t... and myself. I just wish that things could have been different i never meant to hurt him so much I feel like i've destroyed him.
2006-06-26 07:32:58 · 59 answers · asked by rebeccaangel2004 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes.
2006-06-26 07:34:52 · answer #1 · answered by eyebum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three weeks ago you left your bf? But two weeks ago you got married? That was only one week in between!
What made you jump into a marriage so fast? Do you even know this guy?
Your ex will get over it but it will take a long time because you dumped this on him so sudden. That leaves a person scarred for a long time and then they have trouble coping with their new relationship because there never was any closure from the previous one.
If for some reason your marriage to this guy doesn't work somewhere down the road, I hope you'll understand what your ex is feeling now. And if your ex has someone new by then, I hope you don't go back to try interfering with that relationship. That would be very selfish and it wouldn't be fair to the new girlfriend either especially since she won't get the full benefit of his love now that you left a big gash in his heart.
2006-07-03 09:09:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well no I don't think you are a bad person because men do this all the time and in even more cruel ways. I however think that you should have been upfront with him when you left him initially and even now that you are married. I don't mean to be a skeptic but I wouldn't want to marry a man that I met at my office or left my boyfriend for since 1) He met you at work and he will probable meet someone else there also. Just that you would not be the one this occasion. 2) If I was he I would have been cautious about you doing the same to me.
I don't think its what you did but how you dealt with everything.
2006-06-26 07:46:26 · answer #3 · answered by EIliot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, was he a bad guy? Do you still have feelings for him? I think what you did was horrible. To leave one man for another that fast is cruel and very lacking of character. You should feel bad you took a man who was with you for 2 yrs and tossed his heart to the dogs. I'll be surprised if he ever recovers from this. If you were with him for that period of time he was totally committed. He took his time to make sure you were the one for him, and didn't rush you to make difficult decisions. I hope you don't have children, because the one you dumped was pro bally the better man and the children will let you know. You may have lost the best man you ever met because of an affair that turned into a slam bam thank you mam marriage. How would you like to be his shoes or try to live each day knowing the pain you caused.
2006-06-26 11:11:53 · answer #4 · answered by sooner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, very open of you. I feel sorry for your ex to be honest. It all sounds a little rushed to me, you being swept off your feet by one man has become anothers nightmare. Well, realistically, how can you even know this second guy who you married is the right choice?
You married him within no time of knowing him and if he was the right choice then what you did was the right choice for YOU. Life can be tough and I'm sure your ex will grow from the experience, a bitter one to him and he sure won't have many good memories of you for doing this to him but I'm sure you'll both live.
I wish you luck in your new life, and only you have too feel bad for what you did, do you?
We can't judge you for your actions, I actually think we are our own judges, make your own mind up and then put this experience to rest and get on with your own life, maybe with a lesson learned.
2006-06-26 07:46:24 · answer #5 · answered by WW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...i wouldn't say your "bad"...but there were so many other ways you could of handled the situation. You come across as a lil selfish...and you just took him along for a ride that he didn't ask for...Leaving him a letter was wrong....because things like this need to be talked about especially when you were with him for 2 years...he deserved that much...They say karma is a *****...so hopefully what you did won't come back and bite you in the butt....Why was the sudden rush to this other man...obviously this relationship had been going on for a while...for someone to just decided to get married....Anyhow...i am sure he will be ok...we all fall but always find a way to get up....Even though i think it was the wrong way to go about the situation.
2006-06-26 07:40:44 · answer #6 · answered by brina27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know if your a bad person but you are a cold person. You left a man you been with for 2 years for what reason cus I didn't see any written and you marry some dude after a few weeks, AND dont have the balls to tell the ex that you were going to marry him. Your feeling guilty because you KNOW you did this man wrong. Shame on you.
2006-06-26 07:38:37 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you're not a bad person, and the feelings you're having are probably your mind recognizing that you went about this in the wrong way. if you left him 3 wks ago and got married 2, the math is blatant, you should have left him long ago. but you are not obliged to stay with someone. Try sitting down with him (unless he's inherently violent), apologizing, and then explain to him where your values do not meet, and that both of you need to find someone you can have shared values with. There is little reason that it cannot end amicably. mind you that is not to say that he will stop pursuing you, as long as he believes that he loves you, he will want to win you back. But he will likely get over it because he's going to quickly realize if he hasn't already that you were cheating on him, and that tends to push guys away. could take time though and speaking as a man I'd watch out about putting them in the same room for awhile, cause if I were him i would rightfully want to beat up your husband, and I'm non-violent. Men tend to assume that it is the responsibility of the man to find out if the one he desires is taken, and our unwritten code states that if you mess around with another guys girl he is right in trying to beat you up, not that he necessarily could... but he wouldn't be wrong for trying. good luck.
2006-06-26 07:49:37 · answer #8 · answered by iconoclast_ensues 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad, you're not a bad person. You're just human, with certain needs. Obviously there was something missing in your relationship, and you tried to communicate it to him, and he did not listen. If he thought you were that important he would have listen. That was his mistake. Now you getting married so soon, I think you should have taken a little more time to think it over. They say that you should at least give yourself a year and a half, to really get to know each other. Hope it really works out though.
2006-06-26 07:49:20 · answer #9 · answered by Inda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it don't make you a bad person just inconsiderate. It was very inconsiderate of you to find another man and move on with him while with someone else. That is cheating and so don't be surprised when one day the new husband cheats on you too. What goes around comes around. Just apologize to this ex-boyfriend and maybe he will move on. He probably feels bad about himself is why he is still after you because you made him feel like there was something wrong with him.
2006-06-26 07:45:09 · answer #10 · answered by kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not a bad person. It is always best to tell the truth even if it ends up hurting someone. He would have found out sometime, and it's best that you were the one that told him. It is important that you are with the one you love and not in a relationship with someone you don't. Staying with the other guy when you really loved t... would have made you a bad person. You did the right thing and are not a bad person.
2006-06-26 07:38:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋