My ex-husband left me 5 1/2 yrs ago. At the time we had just had a baby boy and I was already pregnant with the 2nd bundle of joy. However this didn't matter to him. He took off and never looked back. He got his girlfriend pregnant when I was still about 5 months pregnant. Never wanted to pay support and only did it forcfully by court. Now more than 5 yrs later he wants to regain what he willfully gave up....a relationship with his sons. It seems as though he wants to spend time with them and he seems genuine about this. However he's giving them toys and gifts to earn love. They're only 5 & 6 yrs old. They're easilly bought. I feel that he's not being fair to me...( I earn less money than he ) I can't afford to keep up and suddenly my 6 yr old is starting to give me lip and be angry because his father offers him more stuff than I can. However he's been gone all this time I've been the ONLY care giver and support of them. I'm now worried and becoming deppressed. Help Me!
2006-06-26 07:10:40 · 5 answers · asked by bella_mexicana_rellena 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have 3 kids by my ex and he went off to Australia with his new wife. He stopped paying and I am fighting him in court (at great cost to myself) but now he wants to see his kids for 4 weeks this Christmas. I KNOW your feelings totally. But you have to carry the burden because children are better off if they have a relationship with their dads. Just dont compete. When they get older they will realise what went on. But equally dont put up with their lippyness. Dont let it go on. Make your ex look after them sometimes so you have some time to yourself. And get on with your own life. Your boys need a possitive male rolemodel in their life (your dad, or a brother or a new husband) Get on, get your life back into shape and make some time for yourself. You need it and so do your boys.
2006-06-26 07:20:02 · answer #1 · answered by angela s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a super mom! Kudos to you!
However; Take a deep breath and pray for your situation.
Be gracious!
Say nothing about the gifts unless it is positive.
The boys still need their father.
It has nothing to do with you. The father needs his sons.
Continue to train your sons to be respectful.
The anger expressed by your boys may be a symptom of their own mixed feelings in which they are too young to understand.
The boys want nothing more than to be loved by "mom and dad".
There is no need to compete, you each have a vital role to play in their lives.
Be happy and let the boys know you are happy for them.
You are a hero!
2006-06-26 07:23:54 · answer #2 · answered by lindakflowers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the kids realise which side of their toast is buttered! That's called creative selfishness!
2006-06-26 07:16:59 · answer #3 · answered by sexspiritual 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this will only work for so long...kids are not stupid and material things will have less of an effect...you are their mother, continue to be so...raise them and love them in ways he never can... weather the storm and be strong
2006-06-26 07:14:29 · answer #4 · answered by twentythree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy sweetheart, you sit your kids down remind them what he done then tell them to milk him for everything he is worth!
2006-06-26 07:16:15 · answer #5 · answered by nicktomlinson423 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋