had a great few days w/ him (not the first time we slept together but the most intimate time together) had planned for weeks. by the second and last morning he freaked out - left the room quickly and became distant. later said he freaked out a bit because it was the first time emotions came into play. Now needs space to think and decide what he wants. by the way we are both married but unhappy and this sitiation just sort of happened with us - neither of us is ready to leave our lives just yet but have had a great time with each other so far.
what does the freak out and space mean? does he have feelings and now is scared? what could this mean? I'm miserable thinking about it and have to see him each day as we work together. we haven't talked yet about what will happen next if anything with us but for some reason his sudden freak out is killing me. Why the freak out on his part?
2006-06-26 06:39:52 · 9 answers · asked by yetty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe this will help to clarify.... He is the one who brought up emotions first - and has agreed all along this just isn't sex (he stated that first, has said how right things feel). But then, out of the blue he freaked out and needed space. I don't want hi to leave his family for me or me leave for him but for some reason I really don't want thsi to end yet. him needing space has me very worried.
2006-06-26 07:12:21 · update #1
Maybe he freaked out because he's not emotionally attached to you. And you are bringing the emotional equation into the "casual sex" relationship. He clearly doesn't want to be emotionally attached to you, because you are simply the "sex" he's not getting at home.
He will never leave his wife.
What are you doing? What would your husband say?
Relationships are not kleenex, you don't toss them out when things get soggy. There are real emotions and people involved here. How can you lie to your husband every day that you keep this secret from him.
Like it or not. He's pulling away because of the "emotional" attachment you are bringing to the "sex only" relationship.
He has a relationship, and that's at home. He only wants sex from you. As long as you give it, he will take it.
And that's a Man, in a nutshell.
2006-06-26 06:48:14 · answer #1 · answered by alwaysbombed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the freaking out is this "Oh, my God, I just slept with another woman, and I committed adultery and I may lose my wife and family" could that be part of it. You don't want to leave your family, but you have all ready. By sleeping with another man and not spending that time with your kids...how can you both be so casual about this? I am not judging you, I have no right to judge you but you did ask for reasons that this man may have freaked out on you. Just maybe he got blind sided with the fact he had a part in wrecking two families-his and yours-your husband may not be so concerned with your worrying why your lover is freaking but why you are sleeping around. Freaking out--guilty conscience-sounds like a match!
2006-06-26 10:06:20 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK this is not a good idea if you are both still married. I did this, and i left my ex but in the end he never left. I did the freaking as i had feelings for him that i thought would never happen. We did not plan this, but we had fun when we were together and that just made me want to be with him more.
Stop spending time with him now, before it;s to late. He freaked because he has feelings and this will cause problems for him at home. (it did for me).
Now that he no longer is talking to you, it's best to cut him lose.
Take it from someone that knows, good luck
2006-06-26 06:51:25 · answer #3 · answered by misscanada_y2k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is confused. There are strong feelings but don't know what to do with them. I don't know how he feel about you only he knows. But what you can do is give him space to himself. But let him know that you are there for him just in case. Before things get intimate again both parties need to know where each other stand. He may not be ready to get with you on a bf/gf vibe. He may just want something new. He know he can get that from you and you understand because you are married too. He may just want an easy lay and needing space is an excuse to not talk about feelings or anything else.
2006-06-26 06:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by Chyna D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, open your eyes not your legs!!! First of all getting involved as married individuals is not the way to go about finding what you want; and neither is sleeping with someone you work with. He's saying as nicely as he can....LEAVE ME ALONE! I'm not ready to leave my wife and family!!
I don't know what you need to understand this...he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. So...back off and both of your become single before doing anything stupid like this again. spend you're time thinking about something productive, will you?
2006-06-26 07:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He freaked out because he realized that you want a "emotionally intimate relatonship" and that is not what he wants from you.
You want to put emotional strings into a "no strings attached" relationship, and he backed off because he realized that you wanted more than he bargained for. He was in for the psysical satisfaction only, face it, you were just a piece of a..... See him run away as he will avoid you.
Or what, did you think that he was going to divorce his wife for you?? PUHLEAZE!..... that's what you get for getting and extra-marital affair....shame on both of you.
2006-06-26 07:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because he realized that he just cheated on a his wife, ya know, the woman he committed himself to. The person he promised to love, honor, cherish, sickness, health the whole thingy....wait....oh yeah YOU took the same vows. What the f**K do you expect us to do for you. Neither of you want to leave your mates ......too bad your mates married the wrong people!
2006-06-26 07:06:09 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe with the emotions, he finally realized he was cheating on his wife! Shame on both of you!
2006-06-26 06:50:27 · answer #8 · answered by loshea65 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
instead of trying to analyze this guy so much, why don't you try to analyze what went wrong in your marriage and try to fix it.....Why is infidelity so normal to you people now a days? I feel sorry for your husband
2006-06-26 06:50:52 · answer #9 · answered by xqueenyx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋