She has been here for about 3 months now and I am already at my wits end. She is a slob and I just don't like her. Please keep in mind that this women is olny in her 50's but won't learn to take care of herself. I feel like I have to take care of her because my husband works a full time job with lots of overtime. She contributes nothing to our home, has no job or any source of income and won't even help out around the house. Not even to pick up after herself. Someone please help me before I go out of my mind!!
I have already posted this question once but there really wasn't any sound advice on it so please please help me?
2006-06-26 06:29:48 · 10 answers · asked by jd77 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok I have talked to my husband about it but he is a truck driver and is not home much so there is not alot he can do! Except to ask her to leave. Her moving is not an option. And she has something wrong with her knee and that is her excuse on why she can't help do anything. But when she is at home she acts fine the olny time she acts like her knee is bothering her is when she goes to the doctor!
2006-06-26 06:38:09 · update #1
Oh boy, I've been in your shoes except it was my mother. I loved her very much but, when you bring someone else into your home, especially someone who is not your own flesh and blood it is very very hard. She and my husband had issues and did not get along. She was with us for 15 years. My suggestion would be to sit down with her and have a kind talk and give her certain chores to do (she may not know what you want her to do). She probably may feel lost and alone. This is a big change for her too. Get her to be involved in church or other activities so that she will have friends. In my case, my husband and I did a lot of fun things alone and away from the house. My mother was elderly (87) and passed away. I really do miss her.
P.S. She isn't old at all. Couldn't she live in an apartment of her own close to you and your husband? This would certainly be the best choice in my opinion. This could be really hard to do emotionally for your husband because she has already moved in. But believe me, it would be the best decision in the long run.
2006-06-26 06:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is your husband's place to insist that his mother either act as a considerate house guest or remain in her room. Get her a daybed, easy chair, her own phone, her own laundry hamper, a small fridge and hot plate, and so on. If your current home won't accomodate this, and this is to be a long-term arrangement, then insist on moving to a home that WILL provide both you and Mama with privacy. Buy her a trailer if you have to.
2006-06-26 13:46:26 · answer #2 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she chooses to behave like a child, you'll have to treat her like one. First thing first, 50 isn't old! It's the new 40.
Tell her that she will either have to pitch in around the house, or she will need to find employment to help pay for the maid.
Seriously just go off...let her have it. It's what she's waiting for anyway.
2006-06-26 13:37:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell ya what you need to have a sit down conversation with your husband tell him that she is driving you crazy. That she needs to move out maybe in an independant living place for seniors or something. He needs to take it seriously. Cuz it could be damaging to your marriage and intimacy with your husband. GIve him an ultimatium
2006-06-26 13:39:48 · answer #4 · answered by pinkbunnylol 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit your mother in law down and discuss your expectations around the house.. she needs to know where your coming from..and if you say " i would appreciate you helping me out " versus screaming at her, you will get a better response from her..
I know how you feel, my mother and father in law are slobs and expect me to do everything when they come to visit.. it does it tiresome and old after awhile..your mother in law is taking advantage of you, and you need to tell her that you need her help around the house, and if she says her knee hurts, then tell her that , " i know it hurts, but i cant do everything anymore, and i truely need your help"..
2006-06-26 20:22:05 · answer #5 · answered by KiMbErLy P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 months! thats already 2 months and 3 weeks too long. stop doing things for her and dont make the house comfortable for her to be. ill be honest ive never had to deal w/ a mother inlaw and i hope i never will, but if any of the majority of my family came to stay at my house longer than a week id want to kill them lol
2006-06-26 22:25:52 · answer #6 · answered by duff007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with your husband and let him know how you are feeling, actually tell him everything you wrote here. Let him know that you are coming to him first because you don't want to explode on his mother but you will if he doesnt talk to her, suggest to him that you both sit down and talk to her and if your mother-in-law doesnt like what she hears then she can go find somewhere else to live, dont let her destroy your marriage because It will happen if you don't say anything.
2006-06-26 13:42:42 · answer #7 · answered by Alanacoolata 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a backbone and tell her how you feel and sit down with your husband and let him know how you feel about the situation and how much stress that it is putting on you if you dont resolve this matter soon your marriage is in big trouble so speak up
2006-06-26 13:36:41 · answer #8 · answered by winter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't cook for her, don't do her laundry, don't clean up after her. Talk to your husband about the situation.
2006-06-26 13:35:19 · answer #9 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move her to Boca
2006-06-26 13:33:21 · answer #10 · answered by maddywoo13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋