where do i start i want to have a baby but i am gay? i am 30 years old now
2006-06-26 06:15:11 · 17 answers · asked by grace 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
do what my lesbian friends in new zealand do -- ask a male friend to donate some sperm, then use a needle-less syringe to inseminate yourself.
don't use a sperm bank unless you can get the identification of the guy who donated the sperm -- his name, address and phone number at the very least -- because eventually your child will want to research the other half of their genetic heritage and LOTS of children of anonymous sperm donations are really angry about not being able to find out "where they came from ".
some people here have recommended adoption. i don't. the adoption industry is a huge money maker for adoption lawyers and agencies and they don't tell you how many adult adoptees like my best friend return to their real families again or how the blood-bond is often far stronger than raising a child. i know several adult adoptees who have not only searched and reunited, but also are changing back their names and getting "re-adopted". another adoptee friend of mine, age 38, is getting her adoption legally annulled.
and mothers who make "adoption plans" during pregnancy have no idea how they'll feel once the baby is born and then they feel coerced into surrendering -- leaves them with many many problems including unresolved grief/loss, PTSD, depression, secondary infertility, etc. i'd not wish this on anyone (i work in a mental health clinic and i see patients with these illnesses)
the DIY "turkey baster method" is a tried and true method, not just a joke. (just don't use a real turkey baster for the job).
good luck!
2006-06-26 08:56:28 · answer #1 · answered by realmomof4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not "homophobic" in any way but my opinion is that it is incredibly selfish to want to have a baby as if it's like going to buy a pet. I know relationships don't always last etc, but where possible a baby should be brought into the world by two loving parents, as I believe there are too many children deprived of that these days and are the worse for it. Also have you thought about the bullying he/she would get at school from other kids about having a gay mum? (sad fact I know, but it will happen). I apologise if you think I'm being harsh but I never look on the rosy side of life, just the reality of it. I'm sure you would give he/she all the love in the world but is it enough?
2006-06-26 16:52:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First as a mother with six kids, (three from my past marriage and his three from a past marriage) and struggling with infertility, you deserve to be a mother just as much as anyone else does. I personally am a heterosexual CATHOLIC. I would never chose to live a gay lifestyle but that is my choice. Gay or not isnt the issue folks! She needs helpful answers and if you are going to turn this into a "morality thing" then dont answer!
She was not asking if it was right for her to have a child but how she could! Here is my answer for you. Do a search on the internet for cryo banks. I did this and stumbled on a website that is a lesbian owned and operated cryobank. Right now i can not find it but im pretty sure that it was in california. Also try zytex.com.
2006-06-27 14:26:39 · answer #3 · answered by princess1al 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try looking into a local sperm bank for artificial insemination. Contact a lawyer and look into adoption. You may hit some resistance because of you being gay, but those people are ignorant. You deserve to have a baby as much as anybody else! Good luck!
2006-06-26 13:18:10 · answer #4 · answered by ericalsmith2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can search the internet for a artificial insemination clinic. But, due to world overpopulation, I would recommend finding a group home and adopting a child instead. A friend of my parents has adopted two children and loves them as much as any birth child.
2006-06-26 13:19:17 · answer #5 · answered by Z. Tribal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. Reproduction is meant to happen heterosexually. That's my view and I'm sorry if that is offensive to you.
I child needs a mother, and a father who is male. That is normal.
Anything else is not.
Fact of life.
Think of the child, not your own needs right now.
Yes, gay women and men do "get" children, but I cannot believe it is healthy or morally/ethically right.
2006-06-27 07:05:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My place
2006-06-28 18:49:33 · answer #7 · answered by Dilly the Kid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well u should thought of that before u wanted to go gay.
2006-06-26 13:25:19 · answer #8 · answered by LeeLee34Lickabooty-Minniemouse34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made your choice when you became gay. You KNOW that you can't reproduce with a female. That's why God made men and women so different.
2006-06-26 14:04:35 · answer #9 · answered by benninb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to go to the hospital or a fertility clinic and you need a sperm donor or if you no some whom you trust you can asked them to help you out a male friend
2006-06-26 13:21:01 · answer #10 · answered by Doreen H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋