I have given and given to my husband - possible ex husband to be - and I can't even get an apology. What does it take to wake them up? He was on drugs and while I honestly do think he is clean (right now) he does not show any signs of "the pay back" that he owes me for money, respect, sleepless nights and trust around our children. I am so tired of him "saying" he loves me and wants his family back - I want him to show me. Stop sitting there with that I know I screwed up and I lost everything - and I just need time to re-build trust and get over our problems look on his face. And I get real tough in my head and in my heart and then he walks in and says I don't have my cell phone - so I give him my extra - and here is ten bucks or whatever. How do you stop inabling people who are so far into drugs that they throw everyone in their life away???
2006-06-26 06:03:36 · 12 answers · asked by a1025goodgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The best thing for you to do is just keep talking to him but with a little more force. He needs to know you are serious and you will leave him and take the children if it gets to that point. Explain to him that you need to be appreciated fast because that point in time is drawing nearer by the day.
2006-06-26 06:17:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Read men are from mars, women are from venus. It says that men and women are different. Women feel like the more they give the more they will get in return. Men feel like when they are getting, everything is good and they don't have to give. When guys are not getting they give more. I have seen this a lot in my and my friends relationship.
Sounds like you need to stop giving and talk to him about how you feel and how the current relationship isn't working. If he wants to keep you, tell him what he needs to do to make the relationship work. It is going to take both of you to make this work, you cant be the one to put in all the effort.
2006-06-26 06:08:38 · answer #2 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AS i understand, u r a giving kind of person. Under the circumstances, no one can draw a line for u to stop giving. Expecting him to apologize or pay u back in kind is too far fetched as he has been on drugs. You have to be tougher with hin not to budge any more. He is hell bent on exploiting your kindness, goodness, tolerance etc. You have to shut your door on his face.
2006-06-26 06:22:34 · answer #3 · answered by mann54 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't expect payback! Just settle for getting back into a normal relationship. Get some counseling for both of you and let him know that you need to have a husband again not a has-been.
2006-06-26 06:10:44 · answer #4 · answered by Norm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you already know the answer to this question. It is hard to accept the fact that you made a wrong decision when you stayed with the guy, and tried to help him, but you don't have to continue with it. You have done your best, now you need to get on with your life, and help your children get on with theirs.
2006-06-26 06:17:57 · answer #5 · answered by It's Complicated 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you stop it is, to get get really "fed up" with his crap, and do something about it. I am just like you, or I WAS, until I got sick of it, and changed it. I am not Charmin toilet paper, and will not be treated as such, any longer. When you stop talking, and start taking action, he will change! Good Luck!
2006-06-26 06:14:08 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a new start.! Feel good about yourself again. You do not
have to go through life giving, giving, and giving. Enough is
enough already.!! The time has come to be good to yourself,
and to give to yourself for a change.
2006-06-26 06:09:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont be a door mat, do not give at your expense, do not give what you do not recieve back from a consistant taker, takers cannot expect anything they will not give, it is okay to serve your king only if he serves his queen otherwise kick his *** to the curb, put your boots on and walk all over him, beggars cant be choosers when they dont know how to serve and that m.f. has alot of nerve
2006-06-26 06:08:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you have obviously given way too much of yourself. You need someone to give you something for a change.
2006-06-26 06:08:31 · answer #9 · answered by auzzimama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact your local organization for women..there are lots of groups there willing to extend their help to women like you. leave if u can..better start thinking for the kids future.they're all that matters now.
2006-06-26 06:07:50 · answer #10 · answered by warrior is a child 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋