Have any of you women had to deal with their husband's porn addiction?

Question

(If this question does not apply to you, please don't answer.)
What did you do to become ok with it, yadda yadda yadda.

Answer 1

Yes. I take a sneak peak at my husband's computer periodically and notice he's been on porn website. It doesn't bother me but one time I notice he was on the adult friend finder website looking at girls in our hometown. That was alarming. Looking at pornography is ok but that can lead to them chatting online with other girls (cybersex?) which I completely prohibit. The internet is trouble because it can give men ideas of infidelity. One time my husband chatted online with a girl. They exchanged pictures, he was impressed by what he saw, he told her that we were separated. I confronted him about this and he was speechless but admitted that he did lost some interest in us due to the lack of bedroom activity (my fault)....he said he wasn't planning to meet her but wanted to chat online. He said he wasn't going to do it again. We'll see...maybe I'll buy this spy software and install it on his computer. I think looking at porn is ok but when it goes too far that's when we women have to put our foot down. Apparently, this is not uncommon activity for all married men whether they're happily married or not. Let's face it women, male hormones have driven men with an insatiable appetite for sex and lust.

Answer 2

Please deal with it. Don't listen to the people who try to minimize it.

I don't think the it is the best advice to say - everyone else is doing it so don't be a prude. I had a porn addiction and anyone who has had one and overcome it will tell you that they are a much better, more sincere, more engaged person because they chose to learn to control and channel their passions. Looking at porn all the time causes a man to sexualize women. Society sexualizes women so much that most men don't even know that there is more to women then sex.

When my porn addiction was the most active:

-- I had no idea how to have a normal relationship with my wife- everything was about sex- either I was frustrated because I wasn't getting any or she was frustrated because it was the only way I seemed to take an interest in her. It consumed my life to the point that I didn't really want to find ways to bond with her emotionally or spiritually etc.

-- I was always onry with my children and my wife because 'normal' life was boring- I only wanted the high that came from looking at porn or having sex and when I didn't have that high- I was often frustrated.

-- I had a very low sense of self estem. I was very down on myself because I had tried to quit and kept falling back. I wanted to win but didn't know how. I could tell my self to give myself a break because 'everyone else does it' but deep down inside I knew this was only a cop-out. I have since discovered that - 'everyone does it' - is a phrase that addicts say to try to make themselves feel better, or a phrase that co-addicts say so they don't have to deal with the fact that it makes them uncomfortable. The truth is that an addiction to porn is not 'normal'- it is not the rule.

-- My relationship with God was completely non-existant when I was using all the time. God did not put women here for my personal pleasure-

I started a very serious recovery process over a year ago and I can tell you that my relationship with my wife is 1000% better. I love to spend time with her and my kids so much more then before. Even my sex life is better because I am totally into her and not fantasizng about someone else.

I feel my feelings so much more then I did before. I am genuinly concerned with her well-being and making her life more enjoyable. I'm not just doing the dishes so she will have sex with me.

I can honestly say that overcoming it has made me a better person. If you cower to the peer pressure and just 'become ok' with it then you will miss out on a much deeper relationship.

I can honestly say in hindsight that if I didn't overcome it that my wife would have been better to leave me. I know that is harsh- but to live in a relationship with a person that is constantly drowning out their feelings with porn can't help but drag you down too. I am so glad that my wife put her foot down and told me that she did not want to live with my addiction anymore. Not just because I am a better person, but because she is a better person now too.

Porn is not harmless- it prevents you and your husband from forming the emotional and spiritual bonds that make marriage so beautiful.

Good luck- Read my other posts for more ideas on this topic.

Answer 3

All men want sex. All men want sex often. All men often think about sex. All men often think about wanting sex.
Many women do not share these feelings and thoughts. Why is YOUR husband addicted to porn ? What exactly means addicted anyway ? He looks at it daily ? Hell, all men look at it daily, some in their mind, others on screens or paper.
He's just more honest.

Answer 4

Yes by wearing sexy clothing and having sex with him 3-4 times a day. Never nagging him to do chores and learning to make clothing from yard waste and re-cyclables.

Answer 5

Yes....most definitely...If you would like to email me, I would love to give to you (in private) some information that helped my ex and myself (even after the divorce) through some really serious issues with this.
[e-mail]

Answer 6

If I looked like you....I would be ok with it.....

Answer 7

YES

Answer 8

if you cant beat him join him...i think it would be fun hehe