I always thought being gay is like pregnancy. You either are or you are not. But then you hear about a man married for 20 years with children and suddenly he is gay and leaves his wife (W O W!) Or you hear about a gay girl that suddenly decides that boyfriends are better than girlfriends. So, is being gay just a decision you as a person makes or is it something that "happens" to you one sunny day? I am not gay and can't see myself kissing and licking another man. Yuk!!!!!
2006-06-26 05:20:18 · 14 answers · asked by SAfrican 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I don't understand it myself. I know people who have been gay forever and also some who have had relationships with the opposite sex and then gone into same sex relationships. I think this type is more likely from those who are/ have been very confused about their sexuality
2006-06-26 05:25:23 · answer #1 · answered by galaxygirl_00_uk 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Because sexuality is fluid and it can fluxucate. But in the majority of cases, where people are married and get divorced due to one spouse being gay, it is usually that they have always been gay but were unaware that they longed for a same sex partner. In these cases divorce is best because each spouse deserves a partner who can love them fully and in the end the children will be more happy when there parents are being true to themselves. Divorce is always difficult, but sometimes it is the right decision.
2006-06-26 06:58:22 · answer #2 · answered by Just Jess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Denial of self because of pressure and living in a closed environment which demands certain behaviour. Eventually though the denial gets too much, the strong break out and admit to themselves and those around them how they are inside, often with devastating consequences, particularly where family or marriage is involved due to the feelings of 'betrayl' from those around them. For the not so strong, either a life of misery and further denial or sadly a more extreme 'out' is sometimes taken.
2006-06-26 05:54:26 · answer #3 · answered by susan69me69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Sexuality is more fluid... it can change over time. Some people remain in one orientation all their lives, some change from one to the other or to bisexuality or asexuality or away from one of them... and no one knows why.
Not even people who spend their entire lives studying sexuality have come up with an explanation. There are theories about latent genetic propensities or homonal influence, but it there is no definitive proof of anything.
It's not a decision... it's something that happens.
...and, thank goodness... it leaves more men for me to lick!
2006-06-26 05:39:01 · answer #4 · answered by blueowlboy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually when you hear about a man who's been married for twenty years suddenly coming out of the closet, he's always been gay, he just decided that it wasn't worth hiding anymore. . . I can't speak for everyone, but I personally feel like it is something that I had no control over. . . just like you like women, I've always liked men. . .
2006-06-26 05:52:40 · answer #5 · answered by michael52181 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's easier for a lesbian to go straight because she just has to lay there when having sex. But for a gay guy to go straight? That seems impossible. Straight guys going gay, now that is just an everyday thing. It feels good to have your anus played with and some women won't do that for their men, so their men get it from other men. And I'd be happy to help them out. ^_^
2006-06-26 05:32:27 · answer #6 · answered by Tommy L.C. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am bisexual and I like both so I can relate I am married and I have 3 kids and have been married for 20 years. But I still have the desire to have sex with guys. It never goes away. Even though I love sex with my wife and it is awesome I still like to have the feeling of a mans arms around me and feel his rough cheek sliding along my neck as he is nibbling on my ear or as i am nibbling on his.
2006-06-26 05:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question reveals the answer.
One -- being in the closet long included hiding what you were by marrying and forcing yourself to have children (for males). While I've been out since I was 14 -- I know males who have done that very thing. I have one friend who has 2 kids and has not slept with his wife in 15 years. He sleeps with guys, though she doesn't know that. He ALWAYS preferred guys to girls -- but to please his family and his church he pretended, got married, and had kids. Then he stopped having sex, his wife was OK with that since she hates sex anyway -- and he started having sex on the side. He is realistically homosexual -- but anyone looking at him would think he was heterosexual. I have another friend who has known since he was 13, but finally, at 38, JUST came out of the closet about 2 weeks ago, pushed by his brother, who knew he was gay and was sick of him ruining his own life for society.
So that's one part of it.
Two -- I notice you mention women in the other part. My experience is that women are more flexible than men. I don't know why -- but I do know that all the genetic evidence we've found is on the X gene -- carried by women but effecting men..... I don't know what goes on with women, I do believe that there are exclusive lesbians, but I think the number of women who only think of men or only think of women is much lower than the number of men who only think of one or the other. Put in the simplest form, I think there are more functional bisexuals who actually choose who they sleep with -- and for them, male or female -- such switches occur -- honesty calls them choices, while gays and straights don't have choices.
Three -- In addition to that there is a whole movement trying to push people back into the closet -- back into hidden lives. They call it the ex-gay movement, but of course, it cures no one, at least none of the ex-gays I've ever met. I remember one who tried to convert me, when I laughed in his face he tried to seduce me.... for a meaningless one night stand. He was married...
So that muddies the water.
Four and last -- So do actual bisexuals. I think there are more female than male ones, but there certainly are bisexual males and they can choose a man and then a woman and then a man and whatever. My first lover (6 year relationship) was bi. He went from me to a woman, to a man, to a woman that he married and had kids with and is still with -- we were 13 and 14 when we started. My present lover (almost 15 year relationship at this point) whom I love very much and suspect I will spend my life with is bisexual. I was the first and will probably be the last male he is with. I on the other hand am gay, thank you. No interest in women at all, ever.
I think if you combine the set -- people already closeted, people going back into the closet due to a false social movement and real bisexuals -- you can answer your question -- and though you didn't spell it out -- the implications of all of those pieces of it were in your question.
Have a good day.
Regards,
Reynolds Jones
http://www.rebuff.org
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-06-26 07:24:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
people who are like that may have been with some one who made them think that a guy is for them to date or the other way around
2006-06-26 05:23:53 · answer #9 · answered by sk8terchick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person is what they are. Confusion is not a normal state of mind.
2006-06-30 19:05:15 · answer #10 · answered by wolfhowl749 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋