My bf and I are having major problems,he doesnt have sex with anymore because he says everytime we have sex his penis gets red like in a rash and it causes him lots of pain for days afterwards.I've never been one to be promiscuis but just to make sure I got tested twice for every std test available and they all came back negative.It used to be where if he wore a condom than that helped but now he says even if he wears one he still gets it and thats where I having trouble believing him.He makes me feel so bad when he says hes never had this problem with his past girlfriends.He makes it out like this is all my fault. He wont c a doctor.We use to have a great sex life at first and he never complained then.I love him so much weve been together almost 2 years and share a 3 month old baby daughter . I dont know how he expects me to go without having any sex,this comes at a akward time because Ive hit a sexual peak, Im an understanding person but Im runing out of patience . Any advice???
2006-06-26 05:09:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wow, if it weren't for the baby daughter, I'd say cut and run. But the little girl complicates things.
So. First - you have got to demand that he go to the doctor. If he is telling the truth (and I have my doubts), the doctor will find out what is going on physically.
If he does go, I expect the doctor is not going to find anything wrong with him. If that is the case, or if he refuses to go to the doctor, then there are a couple of other things that could be going on. One, as I am sure when I post this, I will find others have said, one possibility is that he is cheating on you. I'd have a little more belief in that if he would have sex with you while wearing a condom - at least then he would be protecting you from his other sex partner(s).
Another possibility is that he doesn't want to have sex with his baby's mother. They call it the "Madonna/Whore Syndrome" or complex....(and I don't mean Ms Madonna Ciccone.) It means that once the lover/wife wife becomes the mother of children, the lines blur even more for the husband between his wife and his mother. That might be a little psychobabble-ish for you, I am sure - but it also means that once the wife becomes a mother, the husband doesn't have the same sex drive with her that he had once. So he avoids it. (In your case, so he SAYS that he gets a rash from it. Riiiiiiiiight.)
Another possibility is that the period of celibacy that took place towards the end of your pregnancy has caused a decrease - albeit a temporary one - in his sex drive. Another possibility is the fact that your breasts are lactating - some men do not find this particularly attractive; others find it quite a turn on.
There are more than one explanation for what is going on - but you will not reach an answer by allowing it to continue. He HAS to talk this out with you - with a doctor - or with a counselor. Period.
Good luck!
2006-06-26 05:24:32 · answer #1 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what scare me the most is that he knows (so he says) he is having these strange afflictions when he has sex. If it really is red and rashy, then he should WANT to go to a doctor. Most likely if you've been tested and it's come back negative, it's not an STD...but it could be something else health related to him.
In my humble opinion...if he refuses to go to the doctor, then he's probably not telling the truth about the rash.
2006-06-26 12:18:55 · answer #2 · answered by lissachck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds as if he has moved on sexually, and is trying to let you down through self doubt.
I was going to say that sometimes men can get sensitive if a woman is very tight, but you stated you just had a baby so maybe he's being cruel. If you know you don't have anything wrong with you, begin getting over him. Sorry that you have a baby together - he seems insincere.
2006-06-26 12:15:12 · answer #3 · answered by gravelgertiesgems 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have u seen it for yourself to belive it? It might sound gross but seeing is believing. Maybe he's not attracted to you anymore, I don't mean to sound negative but I'm going by what you said. He could be sleeping with someone else and feels bad about it and he's trying to slowly push you away to make it seem like it's your fault.
2006-06-26 12:15:41 · answer #4 · answered by BaBy K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he maybe hiding something. I don't know, but one answer maybe your body has changed and you get dry down there try KY warming liquid it will help with lubrication and he won't get all sore from your dryness. If that's doesn't work then something else is definitely going on with him. Good Luck!
2006-06-26 14:51:42 · answer #5 · answered by lilmama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doctor ASAP.
I don't understand why he wouldn't want to see the doctor. I know if I had that problem I would be there immediately, unless I was hiding something from my gf...
2006-06-26 12:15:45 · answer #6 · answered by LL Cool J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would make him go to the doctor or i would tell him that he has to take care of the child for along time till he goes...i dont know just go and get him checked out...
2006-06-26 12:13:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He really needs to see a doctor. If he refuses, it could be becuase he is seeing someone else, of he is having a psychological issue.......
2006-06-26 12:13:08 · answer #8 · answered by Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are other forms of pleasing yourself.... vibraters, movies oe just find a sex buddy until he comes around. it sounds he's trying to lower your self esteem.. so mess with his
2006-06-26 12:21:19 · answer #9 · answered by lexiekitten 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your bf has the problem..DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM UNTIL HE HAS SEEN A DOCTOR !!!!!!!
2006-06-26 12:12:51 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋