..He cheated 2 months after our first baby was born, he had an affair with a homewrecker female..n-e how... he ofcorse came back crying and beging for forgiveness, I took him back..But my heart is still hurting and I hate him more than i ever loved him..I want to try for my sons sake... But there is not one day that goes by with out me thinking back on how much damage he did to me..
Honestly i know he doesnt even try to gain me back.. I HONESTLY FEEL I DONT LOVE HIM AT ALL ..not n-e more.. could it b possible that i do love him but can see it cus im so blinded by my anger.. or is it possible to hate.. as much as i one day loved him..? Do feelings change this drasticly..? We are now engaged, But I dont want to marry him n-e more.. I waited 4 years for him to marry me.. but now.. It means NOTHING to me... who can help me forgive? how can i forgive? should i even try??
2006-06-26 05:09:11 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try to forgive him once.
There is lot of gift in the forgiveness.
You can do some pryaers everyday for him to be forgiven for what he has done. BUt about the feeling of love it has to come from within your heart. You are hating with your mind.. and your heart says no
You are feeling the hatred cos of being betrayed.
Let go the hatred of your mind relax and pray... God will show you the direction..
Trust me it works. Go to sleep asking god to forgive him and to show yu the way .. whether it should be that yuo should continue to stay or leave him
2006-06-26 05:21:49 · answer #1 · answered by Smile 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Every body's different in the way they except things in life. Right now, I'd say anger has a big factor in your feelings. If this is going on before the actual piece of paper, then you do need to think hard on going any farther. This isn't an act that just starts and stop on their behalf either. You can try counseling to make sure it's possible to get pass this so it won't hinder what may be a happy relationship with time.
2006-06-26 12:48:16 · answer #2 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should forgive him....but, you don't have to marry him. If you're having all these second thoughts now, I believe you need to call off the wedding. Why get married to someone and be miserable. With you being miserable, you'll unconsciously make your baby miserable too. There is no law that says you have to marry the father of your child. Feelings never change drastically, only eventually. Like I said, you should forgive him, hate and resentment are really bad things....but don't marry him. Best of luck to you..........
2006-06-26 12:29:57 · answer #3 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try pre-marital counseling. If you want to try to work things out, you have to put the past behind you to move forward. You won;t have any closure unless he acknolwdge the pain that he has caused you.
Hatred and holding a grudge is no way to start a marriage, you can make you both miserable by "punish him" constantly for him cheating and being trapped in a marriage with no way out.
If you don;t love him anymore, do your self and your baby a favor and don't marry him. You deserve to be happy and you are NOT happy. Trust your gut feeling and don't do it.
Good luck
2006-06-26 12:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you sweety would be to find a good church. If you start this marriage out like this I just don't see it working. But if you get into a good church & he agrees to go to God will work things out. Trust me, I've been there done that. I actually divorced my husband & we remarried after he turned his life over to God. I never expected to love him again but we've been together for 15 yrs & he still takes my breath away & gives me butterflies. Mind you he is far from perfect but God made it all possible. All things are possible with God. That's very selfless of you to put your child above yourself. But I do think it would just be harmful to your son in the long run if you don't fix the problem before you get married. And I'm sure you are still angry with him it would be hard not to be. But God can change him. If you do go this route & try, be open for change yourself. Everything could be better than you even imagined it could be. Pray that the Lords will be done. Everything will work out in time. Best of luck to you. God bless. :-)
2006-06-26 12:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by Sugar Dumplin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one but you can help yourself forgive the situation, and from the sound of it, that is not something you really want to do. Why are you engaged to this man? Break it off immediately and work on your own happiness. Get all of the negativity out of you - and only then will you possibly be able to forgive.
I'd say, for the moment, you are probably better off on your own than with your fiance.
2006-06-26 12:35:15 · answer #6 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do yourself a favor and get away from him! It is never easy to break things off with someone. Especially when he is the father of your child. But you can not lie to yourself this guy doesn't love you and no matter what happen he will do it again he doesn't deserve you and your child you guys can do better you will not be the first or last women who doesn't have a husband or baby daddy you child will thank you !!! and you will to. :)
2006-06-26 12:22:06 · answer #7 · answered by ojitos_098 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do yourself a favor and get away from him! It is never easy to break things off with someone. Especially when he is the father of your child. You have to take care of yourself and your child! You don't want to raise your kiddo in a way that isn't healthy. In order to do that, you need to grab a hold of yourself and find the confidence that I know is in there somewhere and move on. You don't deserve to be treated the way that you are. Take it from someone who knows, things don't usually get better after you marry someone like this, it usually gets worse! Good luck to you!
2006-06-26 12:15:31 · answer #8 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never forget what he did to you. All you can do is make the best choice for you and your son, and I find it hard to believe that staying with him is the right one. Your son will sense the lack of love, even if he doesn't see fighting,etc...and that is how his relationships will go....children learn by example. Set a good one for him.
2006-06-26 12:27:38 · answer #9 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a better guy- that 1 dont want it to work out he just wants the convence of a place to go hame to,,get over him & get rid of the hate , put the energy into your son , why raise a child in that kind of enviroment
2006-06-26 12:17:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋