He has the kids four days a month. He is constantly asking for more time with the kids, but on the days he has them he's leaving them with his wife most of the time. Like this weekend, he's out doing his own thing while his wife is entertaining my kids, and he's not even there, all day! Yet he wants more time, time he takes away from me. I value my time with the kids.
2006-06-26 04:53:11 · 13 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He doesn't pay child support either.
2006-06-26 05:05:18 · update #1
I have it just as bad. My ex is living with his parents. On the weekends he has our sons he will leave them with him parents or take them with him to what ever girlfriends house he has for the weekend. He has had 10 this year the children have been exposed to (and that is only ever other weekend) He informed the kids that he will be getting married to the latest but he has said this about 2 this year and and 10 in the past 5 years since i got rid of him. He is 6,000 behind on child support has not worked since Feb. But on the bright side he is about to leave for Iraq with the National Guard and I will not have to put up with him for a year to 18 months.
Men like our exes should not be allowed to get away with what they do but the court system says give them another chance. What another chance to mess up the emotional well being of our children
Thankfully I have remarried and have a wonderful man that loves my sons as much as I do. Atleast they will have one good male role model
2006-06-26 05:18:40 · answer #1 · answered by Layla 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well Ild have to say if he's asking for more time maybe the times he has the kids he has prior obligations, u know Im sure that when you guys got married and had your kids that you never expected to be where you are now, and neither did your kids, NEITHER did your ex hubby. Try cutting him some slack you have no clue how many kids today PRAY that they get a phone call from their dad let alone him make an effort to pick them up. Sometimes we tend to find the faults in situations because we.....well we're hurt for one because what we thought was our "forever after" failed, but we need to find the good things instead, like the fact that obviously he pays his child support (while so many men dnt) and he makes an effort at least. Work with him a lil and see what comes of it. You know also alot of times we (meaning the Mom) tend to complain about he gets 4 days a month and blah blah blah but you made them babies together, he helps support them and seeings you get the other 27 ( do u see now 4 compared to your 27) I have a pretty open visitation with my kids father as long as I dont have plans he picks them up whenever, first of all at first it hurt ALOT but then it got better AND it seemed me and the Father were able to see eye to eye on alot more of the child rearing issues and things just seem to fall in place. Oh and dont think he doesn't"value" his time with them because I'm sure he does and I think if you sit down and be fair he loves the kids as much as you do, your (both of u) failures at a marriage had NOTHING to do with your children AND I can not believe all the responses bashing the Father when all they are hearing is your side LMAO believe me I'm a struggling single Mother but I give complimemts when they are due no matter how small, I sometimes wonder if that is why kids are so negative today, hmmm just food for thought In addition to the added details about support Hon you have to be a better person than him on that, that a way when the kids get older they can't blame any of the hubba bubba on you TRUST ME I GOT THAT ONE with my 18 yo I thought I was doing him a favor not letting his dad see him because he failed to support them, then he passed away and it gets throwed up to me quite often that IM the reason they never knew their dad phew that one hurts
2006-06-26 12:33:32 · answer #2 · answered by Angel B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats simple, do not give him more time ! You can take that to court if you want to and explain whats happening.
Also it depends on the kids age...if they are over 14 they do not have to go if they dont want to..but make sure that they do see him for the 4 days..doesnt matter if he is there or not..you cant control that part....at least shes there and if she minded him not being there im sure she would speak up. Maybe talking to her about it would be a good thing too...come to some compromise between you and her since shes the one taking care of your kids.
My ex's wife and i have a good relationship, we put the kids first and thekids are happy. He works and so does she and my kids babysit their kids while working and my kids get paid...they love it.....he gets he kids every other weekend and what goes on there isnt any of my b-wax but his wife makes sure to let me know because i am thier mom not her...its all about whats best for the kids not the father nor you.
I'd talk to her about your concerns!!
2006-06-26 12:23:23 · answer #3 · answered by apleasure2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the kids get a little older, they'll see right through him, and recognize him for the fraud he is. You just keep on being a good Mommy, the kids see that also. Later, they will stay with you, rather than go stay with his wife. Make him pay child support though, if he's sooooo crazy about his kids. He's an insult to the name "Daddy".
2006-06-26 12:28:46 · answer #4 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he mistakes having his kids with spending time with them. Another possibility is that he might be using the kids as an excuse to stick his wife taking care of them so he can go out and do his own thing.
2006-06-26 12:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by reallyfedup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this a court order that he has the kids 4 days a month.? If so then report what he is doing to the court...
If not then I would petition for full custody of the kids
2006-06-26 12:01:37 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really doesn't matter b/c fact is, he's making an effort (albeit a shallow one). The kids just want to see their father. Let them. There are too many deadbeats around to be picky about that.
2006-06-26 12:22:24 · answer #7 · answered by King H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why isn't he paying child support??? For God's sake, take him to court and get it court-ordered! And when he asks to see more of the kids, tell him that you have plans for them already.
2006-06-26 12:33:38 · answer #8 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are being way to nice i understand that you want him to be in your childrens life but if he is not paying you child sopport then i dont think you even have to let him see them do you?i think that you need to explain to him that the children dont need another mother that they need a father.what do t he children think about this do they like going over there?if they doont i wouldnt let him see them as much or atleast not let him take them home maybe you can let him take them more often if its for a couple hours to take them to the park or a movie or something so it is guaranteed that he will be spending time with them.
2006-06-26 12:17:20 · answer #9 · answered by sar sar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his loss,,, why even let him have them if he's not paying support,. deny him,, unless kids want too ,, and i'm sure you do ,,but ask them what he does with them
2006-06-26 12:34:07 · answer #10 · answered by Rooster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋