My husband is a mommies boy and it drives me crazy. Im from oregon and hes from Cali but his parents are moving to Tenessee, His mom drives me nutz! She has total control over him pretty much to a point where its frusterating. She told him that shell give us a house on their property in TN, once the babys born so we can live near her. like a five minute walk. she said shell be over everyday. I can stand her that much. Ho do I stress to him that its not what I want. I like her, but I dont think I could put up with her everyday! Shes a drama Queen!
2006-06-26 04:48:40 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She may be a drama queen, but this is your husband's fault. The only reason she controls him is by him allowing it to happen. You need to be the strong one here and let him know that you ARE NOT moving to TN, and that you DO NOT want to be that close to his mother. Tell him that you know his mom is trying to be helpful, but that its time the two of you took control of your lives, instead of letting his mom do it.
2006-06-26 05:42:36 · answer #1 · answered by thersa33 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
has he seen the film monster in law if not get him to watch it if so it will help you sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind and just tell his mom in front of him that it aint happening and you have no interest in living near any of your parents and that any decisions that are going to be made will be made by you and your husband and she doesnt have a say and get your husband on his own and ask him who he is married to you or his mother and if he cant decide then tell him he can go to tn on his own but his child wont be there be strong and dont let his mother talk down to you say what you feel especially if youre pregnant that will give you a good edge as you cant be stressed out over this situation if that doesnt work then you make yourself so unbearable to be around that his mom wont want you within 500 miles or if possible appeal to his dad to keep his mother in check but the film will work as a guideline and help you with your problem hope i was a help
2006-06-26 12:05:08 · answer #2 · answered by robbo6902 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds as absolute control freak. You have to take back some of that control. Make it clear to him that in no uncertain terms are you going to move near to her. Cos if you do, she'll be interferring with the way you bring up your baby and it will drive you crazy. Why not get details of properties as far away from her as possible. You need to choose your own home together.
2006-07-02 18:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by chelsea19622000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever watch that show called "Everybody loves Raymond"? This sounds similar to your situation. Tell him that you like his family but that it could get difficult raising your kids with them there. Mothers will always be mothers but something they need to know when to stop and not to do it to other people's children. When you have kids, things with her "mommying" your husband will get worse...she'll be "mommying" your kids too. Nearby isn't bad for a babysitter now and then but in their backyard will be quite overwhelming. You will feel like you don't have a say because then they'll make you feel like you owe them something. It won't just be you, your husband will feel it too but not as bad as you. If they really wanted to help, let them help you buy a house that you and your husband choose. Tell him how you feel because if you don't feel like you can't say anything, you don't feel like part of the family...and if you don't say anything, you may feel like your mother-in-law has taken over and you didn't do a thing to stop it while it was happening. I know it's not a war but with them living so close and mommying in...you will feel like you have no control over your family's living or have a say in it or even to express how you feel. Best wishes and take care.
2006-06-26 12:01:40 · answer #4 · answered by mothergoose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that you have a need for space from either of your families, tell him that this is you guys turn to be parents and that other than having grandparents that love the baby, you want the both of you to raise your child, not the whole family. That old saying that "it takes a whole city to raise a child" NOT TRUE!! Been there done that. Put your foot down or you will be miserable!
2006-06-26 11:56:00 · answer #5 · answered by cutipi_1977 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are loads of things you need to do, starting with talk to your guy about it, but heres one piece of advice from me:
Chose carefully where you live. If you live in the house on their land it will be really difficult not to be overcrowded by your mother-in-law. If you can possibly afford to get your own place a bit further away it will be a step towards keeping your independence. I would suggest about an hour by car, that way they can visit easily, and you can visit them, but they will not be tempted to just 'pop over' 4 times a day. You really need to be firm about this, explain that you want to start creating your own family group and focus on that for a while. Do be careful not to cut his parents out completely though, that will cause problems in itself, plus they can be useful for babysitting etc!!!
2006-06-26 12:03:21 · answer #6 · answered by Helen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him. You don't have to slag her off, he's probably aware of what she's like anyway. Besides, a womans home is her castle and two queens will cause a revelution!! I can fully understand about it, tho. The best thing about divorcing my husband was that I didn't have to keep in touch with my monster-in-law anymore.
2006-06-26 14:03:46 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain how you feel to him, but make sure not to do it in a derogatory way or yell or anything. Talk like adults.
2006-06-26 12:35:26 · answer #8 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him straight up that you don't want to do this, and explain the reasons why. This will only get worse you have to speak up. good luck
2006-06-26 11:56:24 · answer #9 · answered by jeff7241 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce him and be rid of the lot of them. move to europe and find yourself someone who can stand on thier own two feet!
2006-06-26 22:38:08 · answer #10 · answered by p.xx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋