My future mother in law has been very insistent that we get married in the catholic church ( I am not catholic) and to make her happy, I planned to do that. however, I just found out that the priest will not marry us because I have been married before and am divorced. I could get an annullment but he said that takes 6 to 8 months and we are getting married in 3 months. MY fiance's mother is Not happy. But I dont' know what to do now.. who should marry us and how do I keep the peace with her?
2006-06-26 04:11:44 · 17 answers · asked by its still me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The faster you send the documentation the quicker the annulment will be granted. I had my documention done in a day and was granted an annulment by 30 days time.
2006-06-27 04:03:59 · answer #1 · answered by maharet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does your fiance have to say about any of this? This is his mother. Does he want to get married in the Catholic church? Or is he just going along to appease Mommy? This is YOUR day, not hers, and although it is very thoughtful of you to want to make her happy, you have to think about what will make you happy in the long run. Your future mother in law should have known before she even said anything to you that you would not be allowed to be married in the catholic church since you have been divorced. I am not a Catholic, just have a lot of Catholic friends, and that is pretty common knowledge. Get married in the church of your religion if your fiance is happy with that. His mother will have to live with your decision.
2006-06-26 11:19:51 · answer #2 · answered by MELISSA B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is between husband and wife. Unfortunately a wedding involves the whole family and often occurs at the expense of what bride and groom would like.
Sit down with your fiance, decide what the two of you want, if he says to do whatever his mother wants - WALK AWAY!!!!
If you agree that you do need to try and keep some peace in the family, then prehaps a civil ceremony and a Catholic blessing later? I don't know how this things work, I'm not Catholic either!
2006-06-26 11:23:21 · answer #3 · answered by merrymatriarch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey! Marriage should be a happy time, not a stressful one.
I think it is great that you love him so much that you would get married in a Catholic church to please his mother. But now you are faced with the challenge of waiting the 6-8 months or have the wedding somewhere else.
While I think trying to please your new MIL is wonderful, how important is it to you and your new husband to be married in a Catholic church?
If this is a value he has, then wait. But if he doesn't care if you get married in a drive through chapel in Vegas or at the church, then look around for a new place.
And let him deal with his mother! That is something I learned early on in my marriage. Let him be the one to explain to her "his" choice.
In her eyes you are stealing her baby boy, and you are a divorced non-catholic to boot. Stop worrying about her thoughts on you. She may never approve.
Just focus on how much your man loves you and how much you love him, and then work together to make this wedding happen in a way that will please the both of you.
2006-06-26 11:23:10 · answer #4 · answered by Jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand all the concern as to what you mother n law thinks this is your wedding, you're not marrying her ?????? where is the groom, why don't her take a stand and tell her to take a step back .. I think you and your fiance should be planning this wedding , sad as it sounds you can't keep peace with everybody... make yourself happy , good luck
2006-06-26 11:34:36 · answer #5 · answered by Chequetta w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you getting married to make your husband happy or your mother-in-law??? I had same problems. But I didn't get annulment from church (I've got just court divorce papers) and since we (my husband and I) were both different religions followers, we just had a ceremony in Community Christian Church (denominated). And it was wonderful. His mom took a part in candles ceremony and was happy about it. Happy end!
2006-06-26 11:21:33 · answer #6 · answered by Elen H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wedding is yours, not hers. If you want a way to spin it, tell her that you can't get married in church because of the annulment, but you and your fiance have already planned to get married on a certain day and you don't want to wait.
2006-06-26 11:15:19 · answer #7 · answered by J C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are marrying your fiancee not his mother. Plan the wedding in a church or justice that pleases you and your future husband, not his mother. Giving her this power now sets you up for a life time of bending to her and her whims. If your future husband will not side with you, then make him your ex boyfriend.
2006-06-26 11:18:06 · answer #8 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that is true what the priest said. But you can go anywhere and get married. Is this your mothernlaw's wedding or yours and your fiance's wedding? That is the day you both need to be happy and not worring about what is going to make her happy.
2006-06-26 11:15:20 · answer #9 · answered by cici 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the 3 of you should set and talk to each other
you and your future husband should have your own dececions (it dosnt mean that the 2 of you should ingnore or dont respect the mother...she is his mother,ur mother in law, and the grandma of ur future kids after all) but u should find a way to keep very1 happy
2006-06-26 11:25:59 · answer #10 · answered by beauty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋