it isn't going to be easy as we own a house together and I won't be able to re pay the mortgage on my own, he is mentally abusive to me and to my four children from a previous marriage, he has no time for our own son of 2 either. I am at the end of my tether.
2006-06-26 03:38:12 · 33 answers · asked by Guernsey girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave him! Mental abuse is worse than someone beaten the crap from you on a regular basis.
You and your children deserve so much better than some low life **** that doesnt know how to treat his wife and children.
Where are you from, hopefully you are now going to say that you live in the UK, cos if you do, and if you leave your house-you will soon be allocated a house from the council/housing, and until then they will find somewhere that will accommadate you and your family.
Give him the house...and whats inside it....its just material stuff, it can all be replaced-unlike your state of mind or your childrens childhood memories?
Dont put yopuorself or your kids thru this cruel mans pasttime of mental abuse...you are worth alot more.
Good Luck
xx
2006-06-26 04:04:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
5 children!!! I'd be going mental too. First thing you need to do is step back and look at the whole problem. Usually there are reasons for a persons behavior. How is he mentally abusive? When does he act this way? You also have to decide if you want to work on the marriage. If you don't then get divorced. If you do then get counseling. If you're worried about paying a mortgage then guess what... sell the home and get another place you can afford. Don't listen to the band of idiots on here telling you that child support will solve it all. Child support will NOT cover everything. Child support is not guaranteed. Many men fall behind on child supprt. What will you do then? Cry about how you're being evicted because you're child support is late. You need to find a place you can afford ON YOUR OWN. The child support you get can be used as a safety net in case something goes wrong.
2006-06-27 05:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by jdscorrupted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are alot of womens organisations that will help you, sometimes mental abuse can be much worse than physical abuse, you need to start by putting your name down for other housing associations or the council, explain the situation and have all correspondance from them sent to either a friends address or a family member. I'm sure you dont want to go into a refuge, or really give up your house but yours and your childrens safety comes first and if you dont act now you will slip further and further into depression and you wont have the strength to leave at all. I think you are a brave woman, please just get in contact with your neighbourhood office, and they can provide information on organisations that will help you. I will be on the net today looking for useful contacts for you!
2006-06-26 03:51:15 · answer #3 · answered by kelly d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a part of the house that you can rent out? If so u can then probably afford the mortgage this way. Also try to refinance or speak to your mortgae broker about different payment options. I say do whatever it takes to be happy and guard your kids from such abuse. Even if you have to sell the home and rent instead. Its going to be hard but now its the time when you have to reach inside of yourself for strenght. Analyze all the options, make a decision and dont look back. Hope this helps and good luck.
2006-06-26 03:48:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the first things you have to accept when divorcing is that you both come out financially on a losing end. But you can start over and have enough sanity and personal health to do so. The house will be one of the assets you may lose. Everything else will be divided too. Attorney's fees will eat up other cash resources. But if you're being abused, all this may be a necessary step to salvage your future and have a chance at life the way you desire it to be.
2006-06-26 03:56:24 · answer #5 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me you need to sell the house, pay off the mortgage and split the proceeds. Perhaps move in with family/friends or rent a place until you are in a position to buy a new place.
I'm afraid there is no simple answer here. Just take it in baby steps and don't be afraid to ask the people you can rely on for help.
2006-06-26 03:43:51 · answer #6 · answered by xenobyte72 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE HIM NOW!!!
i think you already know the answer to your own question, don't you?
leave seek free legal advice for a divorce sell the house spilt the money if theres any left over dont worry if you cannot afford a new house straight away your local council will legally have to provide you with accomodation as you have a small child, maybe only a b&b at first but then they willl move you to a house first things first GET OUT!!!!!!
2006-06-26 04:16:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. First I would need to know Way state you are in.. As divorce laws are different in every state.
I don't know if you work.. But if you are a stay at home mom. You can sue for child support and you can sue for alimony. In most states they think about the # of family members that will be going with you. You can also apply for state aid. So that too can help you make ends meet. If and when you leave him. You can also rent out a room... Sorry I can not help any more than that with out knowing more about your situation.
2006-06-26 03:45:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried marriage counseling? Have you tried talking about how you feel? How does he take this? I would suggest talking to a lawyer if you are serious before you discuss it with him. If he is mentally abusive, you may not get across to him. If you discuss divorce with him then maybe he will try to "beat you to the punch" and contact him lawyer first and try to take you for all you've got. You should try to get proof of some of this "mental abusive" behavior. It'll be hard but it'll help you get custody of your kids and child support, alimony, the house, etc. Best wishes and take care.
2006-06-26 04:41:27 · answer #9 · answered by mothergoose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can! Get your finances together before you divorce, but don;t live a miserable life and put your self and your children in danger because of a "house".
I sold my house, split the profit and rent a small one for me and my child. We live happy and there is no arguments, no yelling and no hell anymore. My son and our safety is well worth the sacrifice. I work full time and receive child support and we live a very happy life, with peace and love.
It's possible and worth it, Don't be fraid. Be strong. Good luck
2006-06-26 03:46:32 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋