Is it OK to have an affair if the wife never finds out?

Question

For the last 2 years, I have been involved in an affair. I am happily married and my wife has never caught on. The problem is, about a week ago, my 10 year old daughter caught my lover and I engaged in doggy - style intercourse. She threarened to tell her mother and I have had to tell her that there will be no more birthdays or christmas if she gives that game away. Is this wrong?

Answer 1

Dude, i was in the same siuation as u. Tell the little snot that mommy won't love her anymore if she tells on u. Also tell her that u won't love her anymore either because tattling is an unforgivable sin. Remind her what happens to sinners. Give her 10 bucks and drop her off at the mall. Preferably one in a large city for a few hours when u r getting down doggie style again. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Yes it's wrong. If you are happily married why are you having an affair. You are a pitiful human being., and then to threaten your daughter because you have no morals. I hope she tells your wife, and loose everything you own. Your a horrible father to put her in the position you have, and then to try to control her by threatening to take away her Birthday and Christmas. That is emotional abuse. Thank goodness she is 10 years old and knows what you did was wrong. Hopefully she hates you for what you've done, and will not allow you to be part of her life. It's never ok to have an affair, no matter what the bs excuse.
As for your girlfriend, she's a tramp with no morals either. Anyone who does not value family values, has no values. I hope she gives you aides.

Answer 3

If you are happily married, why the hell are you having an affair? Hmm? There is no excuse, justification or reason for it! The fact that your 10 year old daughter witnessed you in such an intimate act with someone other that her mother is appalling and you are an even lesser person that you have threatened her to keep her quiet. Reading this you are a lousy husband and a lousy father and quite frankly, both of them are better off without you.

So yes, this is wrong - so very wrong. Be a man - admit to your wife what you have been doing and face up to the consequences - and pray that your disgraceful behaviour hasn't had a detrimental affect on your daughter.

Answer 4

my guess, your wife knows.. and she's doing the same thing. But you should never have brought her home, that was dumb. Your willing to punish your Daughter, because you don't want to get caught. That's disgusting. Note:: If your having an affair, your most likely not happy with your marriage. If you want to be happily married, end the affair, and figure out how to be happy with your wife, the mother of your child. If you can't, you should consider marriage counseling or maybe even divorce. You should come clean because your daughter should not be in the middle of all that...

Answer 5

Did you honestly ask that question? No it is not okay to have an affair regardless of lack of discovery. If you are having an affair, you cannot be happily married.
Second, threatening your daughter only guarentees that your daughter will dislike you for your actions. You have proven to her that you are doing something that you know is wrong, and are going to continue doing it. Additionally, you are teaching her that morals are not necessary if you hold the power. And finally, by threatening her if she does not keep your horrendous secret, you are showing her that your lack of morals extends to include her. How can you ask a child to keep a secret from someone who she loves so much?????
Where is your loyalty? Where are your morals? Where is your respect for your family (both your wife and your daughter)????

K

P.S. Just in case I left anything to question, NO AFFAIRS ARE NEVER OKAY. If you are so unhappy with your spouse, then at least have the common courtesy and respect to end your relationship with her honestly before beginning another relationship.

Answer 6

I sincerely hope that you're not serious, but, just in case you are -- YES, IT'S WRONG!

It's never ok to have an affair. If you're unhappy, leave. It's not fair to potentially infect your wife with whatever disease you may pick up by messing around. It's not right to inflict the emotional damage that will come when you are caught.

If you love your daughter at all, how can you threaten her with no birthdays and no Christmases? That's sick. If your "primal urges" are so strong that you care more about satisfying them than caring for your daughter, do your family a favor and get lost!

Answer 7

Become a Muslim. Then you can have two wives. Well, only one legally, and the other through religious brief ceremony. But the catch is that you have to provide for both wives (they can work if you agree to it) and you have to divide your time equally between them. They have the right to separate housing and you don't kiss or flirt with one in front of the other (unlike other religions that do polygamy).

but now you have to think about how youve lost the respect of your daughter (FOR LIFE).

Of course if you were muslim, this could be turned into a positive situation instead, assuming you were willing to take on the responsibility of a second wife and not just have an irdresponsible fling.

Answer 8

what sort of parent are you how dare you threaten your daughter with no more presents how do you think she felt when she caught you at it?its bad enough catching your parents at but when your doing it with someone else is just disgraceful & i prosume it was at your own house what kind of a man are you? your nothing but a coward. it should be up to you to tell your wife. if you were that happily married you wouldnt of strayed in the 1st place. i could go on forever about how this is wrong.i'll tell you 1 thing the respect your daughter had for you will well be out of the window and if i was her i would tell your wife myself

Answer 9

Yes, it is wrong. You're are the one who is the guilty party and you are putting the responsibility of your family's happiness on your daughter's decision. I think you are very selfish!!! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!!! Do you think your disgusting affair who never be discovered???!!! I don't believe it when u say u r happily married. If u are, u wouldn't be having an affair in the first place!!! U have just lost your daughter's respect by threatening her. U brought this onto yourself now clean up the mess yourself.

Answer 10

Look man, I don't blame you for cheating on your wife because I do not know your true reasons, and I'm in no position to comment on it, because I'm a stranger to the whole issue.

However, you didn't have to tell your daughter that bullshit you just said. A 10 year old brain is more fragile than you think, what she saw can traumatize her, even worst you threathen her to keep her mouth shut just to try and hide what you did, that's gonna stay with her... Now that there is not cool man... You fucked up there buddy. Best advice I can give you, bring everything out to the table and confess and apologize.