I've been going out with him for 4 years. My mum has just told me she and dad don't like him and don't think hes good enough for me.
Now I've started doubting him and I'm wondering if they're right.
I think I've known deep down that hes not the one, but I think I'm happy for the time being.
I'm soo confused, I love my parents, but I love my bf too. I'm stuck in the middle!!!
2006-06-26 00:25:08 · 14 answers · asked by Vix 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Who is right?
Take time to analyze the situation and act
2006-06-26 00:41:13 · answer #1 · answered by GATTI S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm a mother and i had this problem (Still have)
I never took to my daughter's boyfriend! I thought he was using her and simply not good enough for her. I tried not to let it show too much but then he moved in with her ... I felt very annoyed seeing her work full time while he was at university, never finishing a degree! Dropping out to embark on another course, using her car to simply go visit freinds etc. While she worked hard to pay for both, mortgage and car.
It made me mad to watch my beautiful daughter waste her time with him! I was sure he would hurt her eventually, then i guess i worried that she might take the same road as i had with her father ... Being takien for granted, used etc.
They've been together for 4 years now. They get on great and he does look after her, i his own way which i do not feel is enough but!!! It came to the stage where i had a choice to make! I could either put up with him or else lose my daughter! Because she did (Still doea0 genuinely love him. She never doubted him, still doesn't. I toelrate him (Don't have to see much of him thank goodness) And whenever with my daughter ... We talk about stacks of things except ... Him! It suits us both.
Now in her case she had no doubts about him. You tell us you are beginning to have douts about the relationship. You say you know deep down he's not the one. So really it is up to you to make your mind about what you really, really want! Should you feel strongly that he is indeed not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then tell your parents! But do tell him too! Because he has a right to know that he's not meant for keeps.
As for your parents, they should not try to put yu under any pressure. I can imagine how worried they are (I was there) But at the end of the day ... They're your parents and they should be there for you no matter what, why you stick to your boyfriend or you dump him!
You know it got to the stage where i didn't speak to my daughter for a month! It was horrendous! i missed her so much so ... Had no other choice but to eat a large helping of humble pie but it was worth it! She knows i still don't trust him 100% and she accepts it. She tells me it's up to them to prove me wrong eventually. But she knows! I'm there for her and civil to him wheni do see him. But that doesn't mean to say that i have to like him !!! Because i still dont!
Does this help?
2006-06-26 07:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart and not your head!! A crazy bit of advice that i was given by a friend when i split up with my husband a fair few years ago!
I thought the person saying it to me must have been completely loopy....but its true! If you follow what your head says to do...you will take what your parents have said, and break up with him but if you are truely happy with your boyfriend, even if its only for the meantime..your happy!!
Do what you want and what is best for you...dont feel pressured into anything, otherwise you might resent your parents?!
Good luck.
xx
2006-06-26 10:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by splight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you feel though, thats whats important. Does this boyfriend have a job??? Even if he is going to school, he could have a parttime job. It sounds like you are still young, and your parents are probably right. Why don't you meet some other guys for you to have something to base your future on. Good Luck!!!
2006-06-26 07:33:00 · answer #4 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe worth explaining to your parents how you feel, that you are aware that this guy isn't 'the one' but you're just enjoying yourself for now. Explain to them not to worry- you're not going to marry this guy or anything too serious, you're just enjoying life. Perhaps you could find out what it is about your boyfriend they don't like, then subtly mention things to your man in the hope that this may encourage him to change his behaviour in front of them.
At the end of the day, it's YOUR happiness that counts, so if you decide that this guy is 'the one' then your parents are just going to have to get over it!
2006-06-26 07:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by Sitting Still 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is always a great possibility that you would never satisfy your parents' wishes and that they wouldn't like your boyfriends. Your boyfriend is your choice and you're going to be with him not your parents. What your parents think about him is less important. The important thing is what you think about him and your relationship. I'm sure that you know who is the best person for you to be with. Try to think about what your choice would be if your parents didn't tell you about their opinion.
2006-06-26 08:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by Psychologist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The waste part is that even you yourself, you are not sure if you love him that much or if he is good for you or not, so why asking us this question when you should be concentrating on leaving him since he has proved to be a no good guy for you. If it was somebody that you yourself truely love and was sure about him, I would have said that its you to love him that matters not your parents.
2006-06-26 07:31:47 · answer #7 · answered by God you are my all in all in Jesus' name 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had that problem with a boyfriend of mine-my mum hated him wouldnt even let him in our house. personally it doesnt bother me what they think cos im the one thats got to spend my time with him and if it goes wrong i have to learn that myself so that i can learn from the expperience-my parents also have always known that this specific incident pushed me further away from them and more towards him because i loved him-whats it to do with them. they understand i make my own choices its my life and i decide even if i am wrong in the end
2006-06-26 09:35:00 · answer #8 · answered by browneyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents will always love you and look out for you, and if your fella treats you good and you have a loving relationship with him...
My advice is keep them seperate and try to keep da peace, good luck
2006-06-26 08:17:26 · answer #9 · answered by 70sBabyBoy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what i used to do....
well, if my parents didn't like the guy and they insisted that i shouldn't date him anymore...i wasn't getting out with him for a while and they believed that we broke up.
afterwards, i was dating him without letting my parents know about our relationship
in case you don't have other alternative
2006-06-26 15:45:40 · answer #10 · answered by AnneMarie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋