All three of us were hanging out at a party, and when he and I went into the men's room we made out and went down on each other. I never had a gay fantasy about him or anyone, but we were both drunk and stoned. My wife of 15 years would leave if she found out because she hates his gay lifestyle. But, her brother now wants to tell her what happened! What should I do?
2006-06-25 23:07:14 · 16 answers · asked by rattwagon 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
deny it.
if you can do it straight faced.
the brother wants you for himself.
2006-06-25 23:26:35 · answer #1 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I bet by now your wishing you would have never asked for advice - Funny if this were the female who had a same sex ordeal the answers would have been a lot different. even if they say otherwise. I know this to be fact because it is much easier to deal with women having sex together than men.
Now true you did something that can have an effect on your marriage but you must not kick yourself too much as you can not change what has happened. All you can do is try to resolve the situation and go from there.
You must come clean with your wife because she really has the right to know and like most people I am guessing she is not going to be happy but just own up to it because hey your a man and that's what we should do. What is done can not be undone and well no one here or anywhere should be judging you and telling you that you are such a bad person because we all make mistakes and I am willing to bet you will not find a single human who hasn't but that is not as important as what we do to learn from our mistakes and if we are willing to learn the first step is knowing what they were and owning up to it.
Keep in mind your not the first on this planet to do what you done and your not going to be the last.
Best of luck to you and I hope you come out of this ok.
2006-06-26 07:23:47 · answer #2 · answered by Savage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you something, don't blame the booze, and whatever you were stoned on, they had nothing to do with what you did, millions of us get drunk every week, you don't see us finding a gay chap at a party and taking him in the men's room and having sex. So tell the "I never had a gay fantasy" line to someone else your wife might believe that, but none of us guys here would.
You are now officially between a rock and a hard place, tell your wife, she leaves, don't tell your wife and let her brother do it, she leaves. No solution here at all.
Oh, wait a minute, there is one, you could go after the brother and then it would be you who would leave, not her.
Sorry guy, but you are as we say..."done"
2006-06-26 06:29:37 · answer #3 · answered by Pete 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you really freaking stepped in it.
Even if they don't get along, a brother does feel the need to protect his sister... and that can mean letting her know when he finds out her husband has fooled around on her. So I guess I'm not entirely surprised to hear he wants to say something to her, though he's just going to get himself into deeper poo with her.
But you know, it wasn't his indiscretion, it was yours. You, sir, have screwed up royally. Here are your options.
1) Convince him to keep his mouth shut and you both stay quiet. Then you have the joy of keeping this to yourself until you or your wife dies.
2) Convince him to keep his mouth shut until you tell her. If it's gonna be told, it had best be by you and not by the dude you fooled around with, even if it's her brother. That's just going to piss her off even more. Then, get to a family councilor.
3) Be a coward and let her brother tell her. This option makes you look like a complete fool and will probably end your marriage.
Honest truth, if you can live with what you've done, go with option one. And it is your secret to keep *FOREVER.* Period.
If you can't keep the brother quiet forever, go with option two.
2006-06-26 06:18:17 · answer #4 · answered by Meranath 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should go to Jerry Springer so the whole world can laugh at you that would be a good idea but no really you ****** up big time i would just tell you wife because it would make it so much better if she found out from you than somebody else and suffer the consequences and next time think about what you are doing you just ****** up your life
2006-06-26 06:16:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are bi-sexual , then you will be doing that again. It will ruin your life when your wife discovers that. Keep your wife's brother at arm's lenght, so that such type of thing will never happen again.
2006-06-26 06:27:23 · answer #6 · answered by soomromails 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek professional councelling after you tell your wife....approach her with you would like to seek the help....when she asks why....tell her.....it won't be easy as both of you will have to attend because she will want answers also......expect the worst
2006-06-26 06:12:45 · answer #7 · answered by Jedi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her go you have things you need to work out and after fifteen years give her the respect she deserves and tell her the truth you owe her that come on what if it was you. and if she leaves that sucks but you got to make your choice now let her make hers. lol sunshine
2006-06-26 06:29:55 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you too r a gay other wise this would have never happened.
2006-06-26 06:35:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have only two opinions. You can tell her first or you can lie and say it never happened.
2006-06-26 06:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by Raynanne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey plez.....i think you should tell her no matter how hard it is for you to tell her the truth...its better she hear it from you rather than her brother...omgoodness that would devastate her if her brother told her ....you cant let him destroy her like that....you have got to tell her ...honesty is the best policy......
2006-06-26 16:18:25 · answer #11 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋