marrige ..over last 3 years?

Question

we are married over 10 years.a few years ago after i left a job i felt really low.My wife started going out with her sisters.started once a week then ended up 5 nights a week.2 nights in pubs and other 3 at other activities.I was at home looking after our small children.Her sisters said to her "cant you do as you want " as they all are doing the same.One of them is divorced and 2 of the others are in non functional marriages ( The husbands do their golf and drinking thing ) This went on for 2 years or more.in the meantime i was been treated worse. when i got back on job track she used to take the house income and do as she pleased with it.I will be returning to education to get a new career to buy her and my children a new house (currently tennants). It seems to be better now but it is a time of my life i wont forget. I got badly injured that year too.i dont drink/smoke my only devotion is to them.My mind is a bit confused whether i want to continue this marrige or not.Any Idea

been getting great replies thanks everyone.I know that when the inlaws were involved in our marrige the problems started.For the first 6 years we had no problems.Hence i had to stop them.When i finish my college course " I will " decide then if to buy a house locally or further away ,or even emigrate from here.we have discussed this but she doesent know that its her family i want to move away from.My father in law died approx 6 years ago.He was a good husband and father.I got on well with him.This would not have been happening if he was alive.I am cleaning at home here today.i will be collecting the children from school then.my wife is working partime.her income is her own to do as she wants too.my income is paying the bills.I am working tonight myself so i dont have any pastimes.I will never know why i got into this situation.My children will always be my life.I am going to work hard for this new career something to work towards.The children will benefit if i have a good salary

Answer 1

Stop being a doormat for your wife. She does not want a husband she wants a butler. You deserve better than that. Most women would love to have a man to do the things that you do. Find a woman that will appreciate you. She clearly doesn't.

Answer 2

Any Idea?
Yes, just one, you need to get this user of a woman out of your life, and find someone else.
Getting a divorce will not lessen the devotion you have for your children, or the time you spend with them. If you bring up the fact that she is a absent parent, and over the years have left the children in your care while she was out partying 5 nights a week. I am sure you would get custody.
Get a GOOD attorney to assist you

Answer 3

I would strongly suggest counselling to find out what is going on if you wife dosnt have any desire to go to counselling you know it is over...I suggest you take your kids an dprovide them with a better home if she isn;t going to stop her partying for you then she isn;t for the kids either, the fact that she takes the household money and does as she pleases I suggest you stop giving her the money and you start paying the bills and the rent and anything else that needs to be done she sounds like she is having a good time at you expense.

Answer 4

That depends greatly on you. From what you have sad she has put you through the mill. You can either suggest counselling to her-- or just say look enough is enough i have devoted everything to you and the kids and i get nothing back in return and thats it i cant take anymore

Answer 5

First mistake you made was to marry a woman who drinks when you don't.But make her understand how much she is hurting you with her actions and she should bear in mind that you are avoiding a separation which could be the ultimate if she continues.

Answer 6

Get out and start living your life you can still be there for the kids. Show this lazy good for nothing woman the door. Get yourself a hobby etc. You only get one chance at life and honey this ain't NO dress rehearsal Good luck

Answer 7

you sound like a really good caring man and a lovely husband if i was you i would not let your wife treat you like this you should have a talk with her and tell her that she is really hurting you and then let her decide if its you or her family that she wants if she really loves and cares for you she will choose you and stop treating you badly as she has been doing

Answer 8

I thought I was reading my own lifes' story as I read your question....so many similarities. She did the same thing to me and her kids. Finally though , she left us for one of the guys she was meeting, while she was out dancing. We got divorced, and as soon as she got divorced, he dumped her. You need to divorce her. She's no good!

Answer 9

you need to talk to her about it, don't let those feelings & problems get worst over time so when things gets tough in your relationship, better talk about it ASAP so you'll avoid to get it bigger. maybe because you allolwed her to do those things, she forget the most important thing she must do and her responsibilities.

Answer 10

if it was me
I would ask her if she wants to divorce.
if not, some serious discussion is needed.
you can't expect her to sit around bored at home, but if she wants to spend money on her socialising she should be earning it herself.