since january, she has been acting difficult. i had sent her for holidays to her home and things changed. she became more difficult to handle and all of a sudden selfish and stubborn. she started also asking for security from me in terms of house or car, etc. we got into major fight because of this and she became quite close to another guy. i heard lots of stories but believed her side. we have since tried to arrange issues. i had called her back from her home town, but nothing much has changed!! we get along for some time and then again fights. to tell you the truth i have lost confidence in her. she had everything, freedom a good life, but she abused this!
recently we got into another major fight and i sent her away but this time i kept my son. she doesnt work and does not come from financially stable family. so my son's future is obviously more secure with me. we recently met again and tried to solve prob. but she continues to party! should i break off and keep my son?
2006-06-25 19:53:57 · 22 answers · asked by carosal98 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This doesn't sound good. I worry about where your child is when you two are fussing. Obviously something has to change, and she doesn't sound mature enough to change it on her own.
Do you still really love her?
Is it worth working it out, or have you completely lost trust in her?
Are you ready to take on the responsibility of raising your child on your own?
Are you just wanting to stay with her because of your child?
These are just some of the questions that you will need to honestly answer before you can decide what to do. If she's doing the party routine, she is trying to regain her sense of freedom. That shows serious immaturity because she does have a child she chose to have, and so now she needs to be a mother, not a party goer.
No one here can answer your question. Go with what you know to be right for you and your child, and be the best parent you can be, because that is your first and foremost responsibility in all of this.
2006-06-25 20:07:41 · answer #1 · answered by JC 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Number one, your kid comes first. If she is not capable of being a good and stable Mother, then it's "see ya, wouldn't want to be ya". Now, the problem I am having is reading that you "sent her away" and then "called her back". That sounds quite controlling, and I am wondering, is this her problem? I am reading between the lines I know, but we are only hearing your side of the story, and if you have been sharing a home and child for the last 5 years, doesn't she have a right to expect some security from you? My question I guess is, does she, or did she and you ever have an equal relationship? Questions to ponder.
2006-06-26 03:07:20 · answer #2 · answered by Crowfeather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm 21 with a 4 year old son also, and i know how u fell about Ur sons where about and whats the best choice 4 him. I feel that until he can tell where he wants to live its on the parent who's making the better choices in life. Because awhile back in my life I was acting just like her, and his father had my son tucked under his wing. And now that's hes not around I have to act like an adult and take the responsibility . Its my turn because we have his whole life to decide who takes care of him.
2006-06-26 03:03:53 · answer #3 · answered by Lil Rika 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a situation like this - it's the child who suffers most. You both have to come to an agreement, because no matter what - she will still be his Mom....and it might be complicated, because you guys are not married. Find out what your rights are (different country- different laws) as the father and the more responsible and financially stable parent. What are you waiting for...contact a lawyer now! Good luck to you and your son.
2006-06-26 03:05:16 · answer #4 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry, but you can't only do the best for your son. You have to do the best for you too. I'm sure you are a very good father and you can give to your son a very good life. In this situation maybe you should leave her. After reading what you wrote, I think she's probably lying to you.
Before break off, you shoud advise a lawyer just to be sure about your right.
Good Luck and take care!
2006-06-26 03:04:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to take a good hard look and assess the situation..... make the most informed decision without allowing feelings to over ride logic. It sounds as if you already know the correct course of action, you are just looking to have it validated. Take care of your son, he is the most important thing in the world..... I was in your situation and took care of my three sons until they grew up and moved out, and I am glad that i did.
2006-06-26 03:39:35 · answer #6 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get away from her... it sounds like she has moved on and is feeling guilty whenever she's around you...
keep your son if you can he needs one stable parent to grow up right....let her visit,call and spend time with him....but get to court ASAP to get legal & sole physical (who he'll live with) before breaking it off with her...it may save you a lot of head aches later on when things get worse with her....first one to court is looked at as the "good guy"...let the courts know that he doesn't need to see his Mom doing what she's doing...and she has left a few times already....
you'll do well..as you seem to have your son's welfare at heart....
2006-06-26 03:04:14 · answer #7 · answered by justnanous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in mah opinion u shud just let her go and do whatever she wants,it was a gud decision 2 keep ur son wid u.u r his father n this grl seems to b alil selfish and careless.
its hard but u'll have 2 part ways wid her if ur not comfortable wid her.but after everything its ur decision only u know wats best 4 u n ur son
wish u gud luck and a happy life ahead wid ur son
lolz
angel
2006-06-26 03:02:43 · answer #8 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a woman is seeing another man, there can never be peace in a family. I have gone through what you have gone thru except for me there was no child involved and we were legally married.Please... let her go, you can't tame her. Either of you will be killed in those fights. When you get physical in marriage, it's over.
good luck
2006-06-26 03:32:57 · answer #9 · answered by lonely 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes kept you son and tell her when she ready to take responsibility then she can visit in your house at first but please go to court frist get it write down to protect your child and you there a story about a bird that was cage and was unhappy so one day the owner took the bird and set its free someone asked why did you do that he said if its mine its will fly back and it will be mine forever so give her time take care of your son good luck
2006-06-26 03:14:47 · answer #10 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋