My husband adopted his cousin 2 1/2 years ago (a few months before we got married.) He has been a nightmare! He lies, steals, injures himself and others, he's constantly rude and defiant. He runs away 2-3 times a year which results in a visit from CPS. We have a 12 month old little boy and a little girl on the way to worry about. I don't want one of these CPS visits to end in them taking all of our children. I also don't want my children picking up his bad habits. Lastly I'm in counseling after having to deal with this boy. We're trying to find some one to take him...but would you? I know I wouldn't if I had the decision again! Is there a way to undo the adoption? Is there some facility I can send him to (that isn't going to cost us an arm and a leg)? I can't live with this boy any longer. I love my husband so much, but I've had thoughts of leaving him just to get away from this horrable boy. Is there any thing I can do short of leaving my husband?
2006-06-25 18:17:52 · 9 answers · asked by sampete80 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He's 15 yrs old and we currently have him in counesling as well. He was at the Boys Ranch for 13 months but we ran out of money.
2006-06-25 18:53:29 · update #1
I'm not trying to be contentious, but what do you mean by "We're trying to find some one to take him...but would you? I know I wouldn't if I had the decision AGAIN"? (emphasis added)
You'll need to contact in your state an attorney specializing in domestic & family law.
Temporary relief may be obtained by having the child institutionalized for short periods, and a competent attorney may be able to expedite resolution of your crisis.
2006-06-25 18:34:39 · answer #1 · answered by wireflight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do anything, I would definitely recommend telling your husband exactly how you feel first! Doing anything "behind his back", could cause even bigger problems in your marriage.
That aside, my husband and I are adoptive parents. During our pre-adoptive counseling with our caseworkers and our attorney, we were told two things concerning "undoing" an adoption:
One- it is possible, but not without it's problems. Not the least of which is the emotional damage it could do to the child.
Two- it is an even longer and more difficult process to turn back an adoption, than it is to adopt in the first place (and trust me, it's a lot of work to adopt!). The reason being, is that when you adopt a child, legally, they become the same as if they were born to you, and thereby have all the same rights and privileges a birth child has. "Undoing" an adoption is legally the same as giving up one of your birth children.
I can't imagine how difficult this situation is for you. If I were in your place, I would not wait for CPS to contact me. You and your husband should approach your county department for family and children, and present your case. They are an extremely busy (and often overworked) group of people, but it is their job to help in situations like yours. Their main goal would be to first and foremost work to resolve the situation without having to remove the child. But regardless, they have access to all kinds of programs and plans and should be able to help you in whatever you decide.
2006-06-26 14:00:49 · answer #2 · answered by Tammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe CPS can give you some options when you explain the situation a little more in depth to them. Maybe the child also needs counseling to deal with his issues also. Either way I hope you make an informed decision.
2006-06-25 18:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by Sowhat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in ur case, im not sure if theres a facility that can do that. well, my question is have u tried seeking help for his bad behavior? cuz u might wanna do that cuz i dnt think the problem will stop even if u go to a doctor,of course u need that for ur self but ur not dealing directly with the problem which is the boy. mybe hes the one thats needing counselling. if u guys cannot discipline him no matter how hard u try, obviously theres a problem with this kid that needs a professional help. give him a second chance...
2006-06-25 18:33:42 · answer #4 · answered by gorgeouschic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
40 years in the past adoption rules have been particularly distinctive. organic and organic fathers did no longer start to have rights with regard to adoption till 1972. it quite is a shame you have been aside for for this reason long even with the incontrovertible fact that that's good which you ultimately have of project to be jointly. As for reversing the adoption i'm uncertain. Have him verify with an criminal expert that fabulous in adoption. each state has distinctive rules concerning this section so I hesitate to grant too a lot. even with the incontrovertible fact that a much extra value affective approach might desire to easily be for him to document a attractiveness replace with the state. That way he might have your call without all of the criminal hastles of reversing his adoption. returned ask the criminal expert how this might consider his beginning certificates. i'm uncertain in the event that they difficulty a sparkling on after a attractiveness replace or no longer. My wager is they might might desire to or you does no longer be waiting to coach who you're.
2016-12-09 01:37:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even bio parents can sign their child over to the state. I think you can do that if you can prove that he's out of control and you can't give him the care he needs. You could ask a family lawyer what you need to do.
2006-07-01 19:32:15 · answer #6 · answered by angelsister23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have tried everything and its still not working out I would take him to an adoption agency. I would not want him around my children at all !
2006-07-08 07:51:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what is best for your family . . .
2006-06-25 18:24:31 · answer #8 · answered by newyorkgal71 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont say how old the kid is. but, no you can't un-adopt him. send him to counceling.
2006-06-25 18:23:40 · answer #9 · answered by baby 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋