My husband has got to be the laziest person i know. He is suppose to be at work by 9:00am everyday, but gets there between 10:00 and 10:30 everyday(his uncle owns the place) I get up everyday at 6:00am(thats when our 9 month old wakes up) get myself and our 2 kids ready for the day, me for work and my kids for daycare all the while my husband sleeps. I work from 8:00am until 5:00pm monday thru friday, come home cook, clean, and get the kids to bed. My husband goes and works on his uncles racecar and comes home and is like whats for supper, well its like 10:00pm by then and supper is put away, but i have to get it out and heat it up. Am i a bad wife for feeling neglected and for wanting him to help me out?
2006-06-25 16:33:32 · 15 answers · asked by pebbles68701 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
forgot to mention that i am told that i need to have his clothes clean and i DO all the house work inside and out. Is this what marriage is all about, the wife being the slave?
2006-06-25 16:35:52 · update #1
i've tried talking to him, he stares blankly at the tv.
2006-06-25 16:44:30 · update #2
I know you said wives, but I think a man's perspective is also needed to help you make your decision. I think you need a vacation away from him and the kids, 5 days. He needs to see what you go through. Nobody deserved a bum for a partner.
Are you a bad wife?...... NO!!, you are not a bad wife. You are a little crazy for allowing him to continue acting like that. He doesn't seem to appreciate what you do, so let him find out what you do, take a vacation and go visit an out of town relative.
2006-06-25 16:43:34 · answer #1 · answered by Grady T 1 · 8⤊ 1⤋
Honey, from experience.....when he gets home at 10:00 pm, tell him to warm it up himself. If you take the time to prepare it, he should at least have enough respect for you to be home at the dinner hour to eat with you and your children. Sounds like he does what he darn well pleases. You are not a BAD wife....believe me....one of these days you will wise up. I did....took a little while, but BOY am I glad I did. You are not his maid....you work too and care for his children and the house. Give him a swift kick and show him you mean business....if you don't, he will continue to live this way. You have allowed it for this long, why should he change! So, until you decide to change, things are going to continue HIS way....there needs to be some give and take. Your not caring for 2 children......your caring for 3! I'm sure you already know what you should do, you just need encouragement. I honestly believe you would be better on your own......that's the decision I made and I've never regretted it!
2006-06-25 23:49:38 · answer #2 · answered by Bluewillow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell is wrong with him? My husband is not exactly a ball of fire when it comes to helping me out, but he DOES help out. There is NO WAY I would be getting out dinner at 10:00pm to heat it up. Is that happening regularly? Can't he operate a microwave?
No you are NOT a bad wife. HE is bad husband and father. When does he ever spend time with the kids? It's time for him to grow up and stop working on race cars and work on his marriage. I hope you are not still having sex with this loser. THAT would definatley not be happening if I were you. Take away some of his "benefits" and see what happens. If not, it sounds like you are on your own anyway, so you might as well go LIVE on your own without the dead weight.
2006-06-25 23:47:51 · answer #3 · answered by GiddyGiddyGoin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same situation and found a very effective solution: I divorced my husband and found a wonderful man that actually helps around the house. I hope you can find someone who will appreciate you. NO-that is not what marriage is supposed to be. Honey, I tried and tried to talk to my ex and he pretty much said "I won't change and if you don't like it you can leave". So I did and I am MUCH happier now. Best of luck to you.
2006-06-26 12:40:12 · answer #4 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably you should talk to him. He might not know how you feel. Guys are sort of dense and don't know at times if something is wrong. I think then you can figure out whether you want to stay in the relationship if he's not helping. But you have to discuss it with him. Talking on the internet is not going to help you except to ask advice. You really need to communicate with him.
2006-06-25 23:40:34 · answer #5 · answered by fran c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you and your husband lacks communication. Talk to him your feelings. He might think it is just okay with you to do all that things because you are not complaining. Delegate some task to him. Don't act as the superwoman you are not. Honest communication with your husband would answer your worries and concern. He acts that way because you let him to act that way. Talk to him gently. And best is, pray together. Nothing is more powerful than a prayer made by you and your husband together.
2006-06-25 23:49:59 · answer #6 · answered by Sophia Beatrice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THIS IS WHAT I WOULD DO. I WOULD TELL HIM THE NEXT TIME HE WANTS A LITTLE, IF I WERE YOU I'D SAY YOU GOT TO BE KIDDIN ? CAUSE YOU WON'T HELP ME OUT AROUND HERE, AND I WORK TOO, I'M JUST TO DAMN EXHAUSTED BY BED TIME, SEX IS THE LAST THING ON MY MIND.. MAYBE HE WILL GET THE HINT.. IF NOT, THEN START PLANNING A SCHEME TO MOVE OUT OR FILE FOR A SEPARATION. SOMETIMES DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER. SEE IF HE COMES BEGGING BACK WITH PROMISES.. GOOD LUCK.. YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS AT ALL... AFTER ALL YOU ARE ONE, WHEN YOU GOT MARRIED..
2006-06-25 23:44:31 · answer #7 · answered by Sunflower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not a bad wife!!!! Your husband does'nt know how good he has it. Next time you have a week-end off or can take one leave him to fend for himself, the kids, and the house. If that does'nt work call Dr Phil :) Good luck
2006-06-25 23:48:03 · answer #8 · answered by Vanessa W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...that's not the norm.
The question you need to ask yourself is: am I better with him or without him?
If you left him, do you have family you could go to live with or would you be able to raise the kids on your own? Don't think you can get child support. it's not guaranteed....if he's working with family, he might find a way to avoid it.
Good luck!
2006-06-25 23:42:12 · answer #9 · answered by berniee2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just broke up with one of those. We were together 4 years and engaged. You don't need him to ride those coat-tails anymore. Aren't you getting tired of carrying him? Right now you are the enabler...and he gets to do what ever he wants. Get couples counseling for the childrens' sake, and yours. You are and awesome wife and he just doesn't realize it. but he would if you were gone and his damn laundry wasn't done.
2006-06-26 00:37:00 · answer #10 · answered by hrock 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋