My husband and I have two beautiful children, a girl age 6 and a boy age 3. We always talked about a third and now that I am ready my husband thinks we should stop. His points are all valid, the kids are getting older and more self sufficient. It is easier to take vacations now that they are getting older and obviously financial issues are always a concern. Regardless of these concerns I still really want a third. I do not know how we can come to a decision we both feel good about?
2006-06-25 16:27:08 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
We have always planned to have three. It was never about having a boy and a girl. It never mattered what there sex was. I am very blessed with my two children and completely happy. I just feel like I was meant to have three, like that would complete my family. We are financially stable and have a home big enough for three. It just seems that now that the kids are getting older and it is getting easier, as far as no more diapers, bottles, etc. My husband feels that this is a good place to stop. I would love to have one more and I feel each child is a joy and would only make our lives better.
2006-06-25 16:42:57 · update #1
Have you ever just seen your life a certain way? I have always seen myself with three children. I want another one because they are amazing and a miracle. Yes, I am sure some of it is because my kids are growing up. My 3 year old is getting ready to start pre school this year. I know all kids grow up but I would love to have all these experiences one more time. I feel another child while I sure at times will be difficult would overall enrich my children and their relationships as siblings. I feel we have a wonderful family and would thrive with another. I have to respect my husband and his feelings especially since i do not totally disagree but since when has deciding to have a child ever been a logical decision. These decisions are made with your heart, not necessarily with logic. I wish I had a crystal ball sometimes to see what my life will be in the future. I know no matter what we will have a happy and full life.
2006-06-25 17:05:33 · update #2
Why do you want one? Do you want one because your baby is getting older? What do you do with your spare time? Is it centered around your children? Do you work? or a stay at home mom? Your husband wants his wife, his lover, his friend and his partner back. Sounds like he wants to enjoy the time with you and the kids. You just stated his opinions, his reasons. What are yours. They count too, we can't tell you what to do. I just wanted to give you a few things to think about.
I have two children, they are 20 (son)and 21(girl) now. I had them very young and I decided then I only wanted two children. I am the oldest and have a brother and sister. It was not fun for us. There was always a extra kid to squeeze into the car, to find a seat in the restaurant, one was always left out. two girls one boy or vice- versa. It was always hard, parents always try not to play favorites however it is impossible with three there is always one child left out or something. It was very hard for them. They love us all very much I don't meen to say they didn't. But it was hard. I did not want that for my children. My children are my life, one of each the best way to go go for me! I wish you the very very best. Good luck. Think everything through, communication is key!
2006-06-25 16:53:21 · answer #1 · answered by chamilton92071 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i can feel on this one. i have 2 children close in age with my wife. the children are 7 and 8 years old. we thought we would finish there for the same reasons but then after a bit of diliberation we decided to have another. she was born 11 days ago. it will not be easy one way or another to make that decision but it is one that needs to be made jointly. there isn't much diference financialy its easier when you have the help of the older children to do even little things. its a joy but its a lot of work. financially its been six years since you had the first and i am sure you are more well of and it will be easier to take the burden and be able to give even more to the child than before.
2006-06-25 16:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by latoraco 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well only two things can happen. The first thing that could happen would be that he will be promoted and everything will be fine. Second thing that could happen is that he won't get the promotion and you all will struggle and possibly not be able to support your kids financially. If that happens your first two, living, kids will suffer. I don't like abortion but if I were in your situation and things didn't look great I would protect my living kids over one that hasn't been born yet. Meaning I would get the abortion. I would have to live with that choice, but personally I would be able to if I knew that my two would be cared for by having that abortion. So you will have to make that choice yourself with those what 'ifs'.
2016-03-27 04:24:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do need to consider what he is saying. Can you financially provide for a third child? If not, is it fair to the two children you have to take from them to support a third child? Why do you want to have a third child so badly? You and your husband are the only ones who can figure this out.
2006-06-25 16:37:54 · answer #4 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have same age kids and know what he means. If you BOTH are not in agreement, stop at two. Enjoy what you have!!!!!!!!
2006-06-25 16:31:31 · answer #5 · answered by Dave E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want any more when you have the perfect family (one of each sex)??
2006-06-25 16:34:12 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Stranger In Maine™♥ (Thriller) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋