Have u ever felt like u stuck.......?

Question

My husband doesn't want to spend his whole vaction w/my family down south, he just wants to go down there for a week and come back home. Dont get me wrong I know he needs to rest, and I respect that, but I guess what gets me is be4 we were married he came down every weekend and saw me, but now that were married, it's kinda changed. We spend every holiday except christmas and the 4th w/his family. I dont understand y he cant go & spend the 2weeks w/my family. Am I being unfair??

By the way my family is his family, no and not like I adopted his cousins as my mom and dad. And when we do go 2 c my dad, we only stay like an hr. and he really gets along w/the rest of my family. He cut's up w/em and helps on my granny farm, w/any1 askin him to.

Answer 1

The root to your problem lack of conversation,....If there anything not right goin on , the best way to solve it is to talk openly to each other. Say your husband is up set over something that happen between his in-laws & him sometime ago, n he's not happy being with them....but for me at least he's willing to join you guy for a week. For me that's fair....Talk to your husband n make him feel good for his sacrifice....Then your job is to tell your family that your hubby has something to do........Time will heel things.....But never ever compare anybody with the past or with another person....Things can go very bad.

Answer 2

Let's go 1 issue at a time:

He came to visit you every weekend before you were married at your families house. Key word: "you"

Holiday's are a tough issue in a marriage. You have to split the holiday's. It sounds like you have. His family is just as important as yours.

He only has two weeks of vacation and he wants to dedicate 1 entire week to time with your family. That sounds like quite a positive investment, on his part, to your family.

My guess is that your husband has a great relationship with your family. He must feel welcome; He must care; and he must understand how important they are to you.

From what your wrote above, you want your husband to spend every holiday and all of his vacation with your family. Meaning, every free moment, away from work that he has, he would have to dedicate to being with your family. Do you think that is fair? You have to answer that one for yourself.

Just curious, why wouldn't you want to spend 1 of his vacation weeks with just him relaxing and enjoying life?

Answer 3

Maybe it's because he's treated like a piece of furniture while you both are there. Do you pay him any attention at all? Include him in the conversations and respect his ideas? Do you let your family cut him off when he's speaking? Are all the conversations started with you and not him?

He probably feels like an outsider there, and face it, he's not the outsider, if anything, he's the insider of that marriage of yours!

Answer 4

maybe he's not comfortable with your family, or are they making him feel that way. talk to him and find out the reasons why he doesnt want to spend the whole two weeks with your family.try to fix the problem if there is any. if he can't give you a valid reason,tell him what are your feelings,and if he really cares for you, that he will do it for you.

Answer 5

well i dont know if its fair or not, but two weeks with inlaws, ouch, remember, he didnt marry ur family, nor did u marry his, enjoy the time u spend with each other

Answer 6

Why cont you go to your family by yourself and let him go to his?It don't sound like your unfair.Have you asked him why???

Answer 7

who knows? Only you and him really know I say that you shoukd tell him how that makes you feel.

Answer 8

maybe