Satisfaction vs. Exclusivity?

Question

Are there any women who believe that sexual satisfaction is as important as sexual exclusivity for the success of a long-term marriage (i.e., neither is more important nor more morally justified than the other)? Of course, sexual satisfaction can not be constant, just as "happiness" is a goal that can't be sustained constantly.

Answer 1

All right, I must admit you have made your point very clear!
Likewise your wording is quite sound.
Perhaps we must give it a second thought and
Elaborate the other way around as well
Really do you want to get it right?

Answer 2

Sexual satisfaction is terribly important to today's ladies. Although sexual satisfaction is a relative term. I mean what satisfies one will not satisfy the other. However, since the liberating 70's many women are demanding complete sexual satisfaction. There has been so much experimenting, social change and role reversal when it comes to females.

Exclusivity may be going the way of the dinosaur. Females no longer need to be dedicated to one male for a meal, safety or sex. These are not your grandma's ladies out here today!

Answer 3

"Long-term marriage"??? Arent all marriages meant to be long-term? Its so difficult to make a decision like that. The "Spiritual" side of you seeks the exclusivity, but the selfish side of you seeks the satisfaction. In a perfect world, you would have both, but it all depends on the type of person you are. A lot of people can be content with the exclusivity side of the issue. They know about all of the other things that will come along with the "Bad sex", and are content with those things. But if you are even asking this question, I'm assuming that you are the type that will be more content with the satisfaction side of the issue, so I say go for it, and just hope that things will work out. You'll never truly know until you try.

Answer 4

For a long term sucess in marriage sexual exclusivity is more important if at all you have to choose betwen the two. That is not to reduce the importance of satisfaction but yes exclusivity is supreme. Look at Prince Charles and Diana's marriage or so many other marriages. Exclusivity is THE fundamental premise of marriage and you should not compromise there. As you rightly expressed, satisfaction is not constant, so you always try to improve. It increases with skill and experience.

Answer 5

Firstly, I'm a guy -- a gay guy. But I have a perspective on this topic that might answer your question.
For some time now, I've watched gay male couples drift in and out of relationships, usually calling it quits for the same reason: one or the other "cheated." When I've been asked for advice, I usually reply with the question, "Why did he cheat?" If you look at the reasoning behind it, rather than just the act itself, it opens a few avenues for discussion.
Firstly, strictly in general terms, men and women don't have sex for the same reasons, nor are they motivated by the same things sexually.
Women, generally speaking, seem to require some level of commitment, love and security to make them feel OK with having a sexual relationship with a man. Men, also generally speaking, don't need those things. Sure, they are a charming bonus, but certainly are not required for most men to engage in sex. Genetics? Perhaps, but by and large, men are perfectly OK with having sex for sex's sake and can do it without any emotional involvement.
As for gay men, well ... when you put two men in a relationship, given my above argument, who are applying a heterosexual model of monogamy and commitment to a homosexual situation, it almost seems destined to fail from the start.
The solution, I think, is to acknowledge the nature of men, set the appropriate boundaries and keep a VERY open line of communication. I also think that sex outside of your primary relationship should be recreational in nature and should not replace sex within the primary relationship. Just a thought. If you'd like to IM me or e-mail me on this topic, I can elaborate more.

Answer 6

Ok Im a man. I believe sexual satisfaction is important but not essential. My current partner is terrible in bed. The LAST person I would have chosen if I had not been in love.

We've been together 21 years.
Sex is really important but its not the only thing in a relationship. If your heart skips a beat when you see their car ride by..thats hard to find.

Answer 7

Exclusivity and satisfaction both important.
Being faithful is more important because that is what the whole relationship is built on.

Answer 8

I don't believe that the happiness can be acheived without the satisfaction. At least for me. If i wasn't satisfied in one way I think I lose some of the happiness in other areas. Godd sex can lead to alot.

Answer 9

I feel that you don't have sex in marriage, you make love. In making love you work towards satisfaction, so if one person is lacking either person works towards making them feel satisfied. Like anything else in life you can't have all the good all the time, and that is why if nothing else you need to have love in the marriage.

Answer 10

When you are young sex is a very important thing. As you mature,you find that their are other sides of the coin that you like. For example someone who is there when you get hurt, and takes care of you. Someone who loves you for who you are fat,skinny, ugly or just plain Jane.He makes you feel like a million dollars.

Answer 11

Why would anyone marry someone who did not satisfy them sexually to begin with? I thought that was a no brainer. And if you married without having sex first (besides being my hero) then you simply learn together what makes each of you happy.