2006-06-25 13:53:39 · 7 answers · asked by michael p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You can be a caring and sensitive person WITHOUT being a pushover and a doormat. People can't take advantage of your kindness if you don't let them. You have to learn to say no sometimes.
Establish some boundaries for your generosity. Such as:
If someone asks you to borrow $20, and you have it to lend, then do it ... once! If they don't pay you back in the agreed upon time, never lend them money again, no matter what. If they do pay it back, then consider lending to them again in the future on occassion, like once every 6-8 months or so, but only if you have it and want to. And keep in mind also if they ever help you out.
If someone asks you to babysit for them, and you want to, and have the time, do it. Ocassionally. But not everyday, or every weekend
Those are just two examples ... the key is ... it's great to help people out rom time to time when you can, but don't let them rely on you (unless you choose to for some reason). It's okay to say, "No, I can't do it" with no further explanation.
If you are concerned people wont like you if you dont give to them or do things for them, think of other reasons people will like you (personality, smile, pleasantness, good listener). If someone stops being your "friend" because you don't do something they want you to, then they weren't a friend to begin with.
Emergency or urgent situations may require a yes ... but learn that some people live on the edge of the urgent ... and discern the difference between a truly urgent situation you might be able to help with, and something that has become urgent because the other person failed to plan or act.
If you are having a great deal of trouble saying no, you might consider counseling for a while.
2006-06-25 15:05:01 · answer #1 · answered by Pichi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
AW!!!!I easily have this style of love,too! This love is the kind that can stay in it for a lengthy time period. Lust love is the kind that's warm for some months, yet then burns out and is derived up with complications. Your love is the kind that can very last through the complications. lovable, lovable,lovable!!!
2016-11-15 06:22:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do it because u probly make it obiviously u have to juast let them know who u are and then let them know if they want to take advantage of u then they can hit the road
2006-06-25 14:09:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they know you have a soft heart and can easily walk all over you. While you are doing what you can to help, they are saying thank god for her/him I wouldn't have been able to go partying or whatever.
2006-06-25 14:04:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you let them
2006-06-25 13:56:06 · answer #5 · answered by BabyFirefly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get firm and just say no
2006-06-25 13:57:21 · answer #6 · answered by mompaperlady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont be nice to everyone
2006-06-25 13:56:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋