Back in September, I met this awesome guy "J", who is straight. Although I didnt come out right away I did after knowing him for a a couple weeks. He said he had already known and he was very accepting. Over time, we became good friends going hiking, playing poker, and just hanging out. In the middle of the year his roommate told "J" that i secretly had feelings for him. I began to wonder if I did since I miss him when he's away, look forward to seeing him, and value spending time with him. Then, I look at the opposite side, and I havent really felt jealous of him dating and I'm not sexually drawn to him, even though he is a good-looking guy. For a while he became distant, but never cut me off as a friend. Recently, he told me that what his roommate had said had triggered him to pull back some. Lately things have gotten back to normal, now that his roommate has graduated and we hang out as friends again. However, I'm not sure how to tell if I'm falling for him. Any thoughts?
2006-06-25 13:41:17 · 11 answers · asked by Paul 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You KNOW when you have fallen for someone. You don't have to wonder about it or take a test. You certainly do not need advice from someone else.
Many people have extremely close friends of the same sex. I have a girlfriend who I miss when we are apart. I have no sexual feelings for her, though. She is married, and I am on the prowl for a fella.
Sometimes people are easily influenced by others around them. It sounds like your friend's roomate put a fear in him that made him uncomfortable for a while. This is not necessarily a homophobe fear. I had a similar experience with a male friend one time. I pulled back from him just a little until he found a new girlfriend. Then everything was good between us again.
Seems so silly of me now.
2006-06-25 14:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by Rainbow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not to get you all weepy and teary eyed over me, but I never really had any friends until I met some people online a couple years ago. I grew up living in the middle of nowhere, with no other kids around, and I didn't go to school, so I never interacted with kids except for once a week at church. And while we were all close, we never were really "friends" until about a year ago. I was always the butt of every joke, and no one was my age (all 2 years younger or older) so I have always been a loner. In 2006, I started an online school, and I met a whole bunch of people that I got to know really well. I still consider them my first friends, and they always will be my friends. It wasn't until about a year ago that all the people I knew from church "matured" and we started hanging out and doing more things together, so now they are my friends. And then there are all you guys I have on R&S :) I think of you all as my friends, and I love coming on Answers (maybe a little too much hehe) And Catti is my bestest friend ever, online or real life :)
2016-03-27 04:16:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a crush. Understand that he is straight and back off a little, and start looking for someone who has the qualities you admire in him.
If his roommate felt uncomfortable with you, your friend was probebly trying to make his living situation easier by backing off. He could have been freaked, too!
Now that things are back to normal, it could be a breach of trust to hit on him or flirt with him or take advantage of his friendship in any way. Try to accept his "straightness" in a way that he accepted your "gayness".
If he is bi-curious, he'll let you know, but you shouldn't take it there.
2006-07-04 11:25:43 · answer #3 · answered by mithril 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you got to ask yourself which is more important- possibly losing a friend by revealing your feelings, or keeping your friendship.
it is a really tricky place that you're in right now, and even though he seems like a really great guy, you have to remember he's a really great STRAIGHT guy. it's probably best for you to not disclose your feelings for him and just move on and find a really great GAY guy that has the same qualities that "J" has. it's rare to find a cool straight guy friend who isn't bothered by your sexuality, and you don't want to lose his friendship over something that might not happen even if you disclosed your feelings.
good luck to you, and i hope that everything works out for you.
2006-07-06 14:08:42 · answer #4 · answered by Krazie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chill your heels...what ever are you thinking of..he pulled back when he thought you might make a pass. He has not changed. If you want to continue the friendship, leave well enough alone. there are plenty of gay men to have a relationship with. Where is your common sense?
2006-06-25 13:47:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT was just feelings for the thought of being with" J" what they would call an old fashioned crush! Sounds more like his roomie wanted "J" for himself and tied to get you out of the picture! And for heavens sake don't tell him about your feelings toward him!Treasure the friendship and don't try to force a relationship out of it! you could both get hurt in the end.
2006-07-06 15:59:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll be falling when you can think of little else. You would start going to bed thinking about him and waking in the morning also thinking of him. It sounds to me that it is no more than a fond friendship and should stay that way.
2006-07-02 22:59:38 · answer #7 · answered by quikzip7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you probably just missed his friendship. Obviously he doesn't share any romantic feelings toward you. I would just count my blessings that I had such an excepting friend that I enjoyed doing things with. Don't ruin that friendship by thinking you have romantic feelings when you probably don't.
2006-06-25 15:04:25 · answer #8 · answered by missee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you've fallen for him. why else would you be questioning? that's not to say that you can't be intimate with a straight guy. for some reason you're into this guy. try to move on from him and continue seeking great gay friends/boyfriends!
2006-07-06 19:26:30 · answer #9 · answered by lito q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'r a fag, obviously he isn't.
Either control your urges or find a new friend.
I have female friends, but I have no desire to f*** any of them, even though some of them are very attractive.
(I'm straight, not blind.)
I have a wife, who I love and respect, for that kind of thing.
2006-07-06 21:21:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋