we were married 14 years to her. Is it possible that a person can just stop themselves from loving someone. Please tell me how. We have a beautiful daughter together. I slove disposable?????
2006-06-25 13:15:48 · 15 answers · asked by bigblock_475_hp d 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
is love disposable????
2006-06-25 13:16:27 · update #1
I don't believe it is possible to wake up and stop loving someone. You can get over her one day at a time and it will take some time if you truly love her. You probably will always have a special place in your heart for her. Who knows yall may work things out. I just know that you can get over her slow but sure and still have a love for her different from any one else. I am sorry you are going through this. I KNOW it is tough.
2006-06-25 13:21:15 · answer #1 · answered by tjamesmomof4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you are not supposed to stop loving. You are also not supposed to hate that person because that is not really going to help you. Someone once told me that anger (in this situation) is not really anger it is a way of trying to cover or deal with your hurt. Why would you want to hate the father of your daughter? What would that mean for her, how would that feel to her? Just like you could not fight what you felt when you met and fell in love with him you can't fight it now. You have to find a way to deal with it. Work through it there is no quick fix!! This will take you from where you are to where you need to be if you allow it to.
2006-06-25 20:22:57 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having 14 years with someone is great. Love is something you do not turn on and off. You have a beautiful daighter as well. First ask yourself, do I want to lose a wife I have loved this long. Do I want to hurt my daughter by wanting to give up on my marriage and perhaps because I just want to be. single again. Perhaps you have not told us the whole story behind this. If you are not happy, you have to make a decision on to stay or go.
2006-06-25 20:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by Lore 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this question...what was it that made you fall in love with this person in the first place, to want to have a family and be married to this person?
You can't stop loving someone, you decide to not want to love. You see love is placed in your hearts for eternity. The only way you stop loving someone is to consciously decide to stop loving that person but love will always be there, it just takes a spark. LOVE is funny that way.
It seems that you are still in love with this person because as you stated..."you just can't stop..." and why do you want to stop loving this person you married and had a child with?
In all honesty I think that this is such a cop-out way for anyone to excuse them self from responsibilities and to deal with reality.
So stop BSing yourself and start dealing with reality. Find a way to re-spark you marriage and salvage it. If that doesn't work seek professional counselor to find out why you want to fall out of love is failing miserably because you at least owe that to yourself and that other person
2006-06-25 21:09:42 · answer #4 · answered by psylocke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no love is never disposable. i was married 19 yrs and believe me, my x slowly over time turned my love for him into a total void of feelings. so he slowly took away the love i had for him. you sound like it happened suddenly to you. you may never stop loving this person. but you can move that love to the back of your heart, and concentrate all of the rest of your love and energy to your daughter.
2006-06-25 20:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by amber44y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first whats the problem makes wants to do that. but anyways if u love someone u will never hate the person u love. if u have a daughter togather u will allways see her in ur daughter. u will fine by the time will pass. belive me
2006-06-25 20:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by heregoagain_1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, it is possible to stop loving someone, but you don't want to. The feeling is like the worst thing you can possibly imagine....
Imagine if your soul were to fracture......
It is possible. It would be better for you to just tuff it out and mourn her as though she had died, and that your marriage had died with her, I know it hurts, but the alternative is much worse. You lose more of yourself, your emotions, your identity, your spirituality. I have seen it take people to their graves. If she asks you to stop loving her, then she never loved you.
2006-06-25 20:34:01 · answer #7 · answered by darkpoet3000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop trying it is not going to work for as long as the HUMAN BEING THAT you two had brought into this world is a part of your life then the memories will never go away, ABOVE ALL NEVER AND I REPEAT NEVER PUT DOWN OR LET ON TO YOUR DAUGHTER YOUR HATE AND ANGER FOR HER FATHER IT"S NOT HER FAULT THAT THINGS DID NOT WORK OUT AND YOU COULD RISK TURNING HER AGAINST YOU OR WORSE SHE GETS CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HAVING TO CHOOSE BETWEEN YOU OR HER FATHER. just try to remember the good parts of the marriage and try to move on to another person as difficult as it sounds.
2006-06-25 20:25:48 · answer #8 · answered by hjbergel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats the reason there should be no past tense of love. There is no "loved". If you love someone they will stay in your heart forever!
2006-06-25 20:18:56 · answer #9 · answered by DisneyLover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(energy is either transferred or stored.)
you need to get some acceptance.
accept the situation and respect it for what it is.
you can love...
but from a distance until you are able to move on.
2006-06-25 20:23:19 · answer #10 · answered by Honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋