if im 13 and live in idaho do i get to choose who i live with if my parents get a divorce and what all happens when they get a divorce becuz i think my parents might and i wanna live with my mom so whoever can explain this to me best gets 10 points
2006-06-25 12:17:06 · 10 answers · asked by Nightchild 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i want them to get a divorce i hate them living together!!!!
2006-06-25 12:32:55 · update #1
i have a sister and brother to but i think they would live with my dad
2006-06-25 12:33:57 · update #2
There's a good chance, based on your age, that a judge would listen to your preferences in such a case. However, it would just be an element in the decision, so there are never any guarantees of getting what you want when it goes the legal route. The only reason it would ever need to go this far, though, is if custody was contested by your parents, and I'll be honest with you, it's best to avoid that mess.
Another idea that I would recommend to make the situation easier is to encourage your parents toward an arrangement without legally contesting custody - tell them it would be easier for everyone involved to let you live with your mother, and you would still like to visit your dad. The important thing here is to protect your dad's feelings when you say that you want to live with your mom - tell him that you still love him - but this is just the way that you want things to be.
I think a lot of times people get involved in all of this hassle and litigation because they feel that a child wants to live with them, instead of the other person, and also partly because they're afraid of losing that bond with their child. So the best thing you can do is to try to ease those fears, and hopefully, this divorce, if it happens, will not be harder than it has to be.
Good luck to you and your family!
Addendum: I just noticed that a lot of people are saying that children usually end up living with their mother, anyway. This is partially the truth. You see, usually people resolve their differences out of court, and the parents usually decide to let the mother have custody of the child (or children). It is much more common for people to choose to settle things out of court - whether it's between themselves or with a court appointed mediator. However, in the cases where custody is contested, this preference for mothers does NOT exist (and don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise). This is why I would strongly recommend that you encourage your parents not to get themselves involved in a contested custody case - it's emotionally draining/scarring, and you don't always end up with what you want.
Sorry for having to add that in, but you shouldn't have to worry about it too much, because as I said, most cases are not contested, and the father does allow the kid(s) to live with the mother willingly.
2006-06-25 12:26:27 · answer #1 · answered by Kestra SpiritNova 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most children usually end up with their mother , in a divorce ; unless for some reason the mother proves to be unfit . If you have a good relationship with both parents , let them know that you are at the age where a girl particularly needs mom as a role model. Sometimes a judge will listen to the input from a child your age . Even when parents share custody -sometimes the kids still reside with the mother .
2006-06-25 19:24:23 · answer #2 · answered by missmayzie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. My parents divorced when I was 11. Usually you WILL live with your mom. The judge only gives custody to the fathers when there is a major problem with a mother such as drugs or alcohol. You will most likely live with your mom and see your dad on visitations. Please remember though that if your parents do get divorced that it is NOT YOUR FAULT and it is an issue between them! They will both continue to love you and you will not be alone!
2006-06-25 19:38:26 · answer #3 · answered by Shoshana S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every state has their own laws on child custody but you should not be worring about this talk to your parents and let them know how you feel but do not hurt your fathers feeling by just saying flat out that you want to live with your mom tell him you would like to live with your mom but that he will always be your dad and you would still want some time with him going to the park or movies but maintain a father daughter relationship.
2006-06-25 19:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by kikilee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, make it known to you parents that you want to live with your mom.
If things were to get messy and your parents were to fight in court over you, chances are the judge would make a decision for you to live with your mother. Unless there is something seriously wrong with one's mother (drugs, alcohol) the common outcome is that the kids live with the mother.
Hopefully this divorce won't turn into a mess and your parents will be reasonable. The best outcome for you is to be able to see either of your parents when you like and be able to stay at either one of their houses. My parents were divorced when I was 7. I lived with my mom. But during the summer I would go on vacation with my dad and sometimes stay at his house for the summer.
Sometimes parents try so hard to turn their kids against each other or make it difficult for one of the parents to see their kids. Hopefully your parents don't think like that.
2006-06-25 19:28:02 · answer #5 · answered by overlord_1138 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you legally get to choose who you want to be with when you are 9 years old,if you rparents get a divorce there wont be a custody battle over you because you are 13 a teenager gets the choice on where they want to live,and yes the mother is generally the one who takes the kids anyways but do reassure your dad that you will vissit him too on weekedns or whatever suits you even though your mum and dad couldnt work out he will still need you too in his life
2006-06-25 19:31:11 · answer #6 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In Texas it is 12 or 14, I think, that you have to be to be able to choose, but It has all kinds of factors, like money and jobs, and whether your parent wants to have you, sadly enough, also on the judge's opinion, and so-called 'best interest of the child'...
2006-06-25 22:55:13 · answer #7 · answered by way_noworlater@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
usually at the age of 12 you get to decide, if you are judging pops while he is living with mom, don't , he may be a different guy when he gets away from her.
2006-06-25 19:50:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your mom and dad love u and want what is best for u, then they should concider ur feelings, u are old enough to decide who u want to live with, but the courts have to decide who u will be better cared for with also, good luck
2006-06-25 19:23:45 · answer #9 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.divorcehq.com/state_info/idaho_divorce_info.shtml
This site should answer some of your questions.
2006-06-25 19:32:27 · answer #10 · answered by jimmy h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋