i have a live-in boyfriend where his two younger boys come over every other weekend sometimes every and now that it is summer the 14yr old has stayed two weeks with us i have no problem with the boys they are excelent kids but right now my mom is here visiting and i have a 18mo and 2mo they wanted to have a friend stay the night and i said no i am feeling cramped as it is so his ex-wife took it upon herself to drop the kids at my house after i said no so i was made to look like the bad guy because i made her take all 3 kids home after all it was her weekend to have them and he does pay support to her every month even if the kids are with us fulltime
2006-06-25 12:01:24 · 12 answers · asked by konax3az 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Girl let it go, that is your decision and your house with your boyfriend. If you did not want to see extra company you have every right to express it and make her pick the children back up.
My suggestion: Make it a house rule that if the children want spend the night guest over on the weekend they can spend that weekend with there mother. Why because your request is not outrageous, this will keep sh*t down in the future. You may have to revise stuff and add more rules but hey that is your dwelling.
2006-06-25 12:27:08 · answer #1 · answered by calmlikeatimebomb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is always sources for stress and conflict when you have ex's and kids and then add to that other sources of stress as additional visitors. It sounds like you at least have a relationship where you can talk with here though. If so then just be honest with her about your feelings ahead of time and explain the reasons for your decisions. Remember though to get respect then you should also be willing to give it. Many times peoples expectations or understanding of a specific situation is not on the same plain as someone elses. You can't do anything about this time however you should, in a non-confrontational way, let her know your feelings and how it made you feel. She might not have realized how you felt or how it made you seem. Also explain that you love the kids also but due to the amount of other traffic you had visiting the home you knew you couldn't give them the time they deserved and you was concerned about them also. Remind her that the important thing is the kids and that you will work with her to help but that you also expect some understanding when those unique times come up like this time and you hope she will understand but either way you should share what is bothering you and not hold it in. Also I think it's best if you do it and not involve your boyfriend and her ex as that will introduce a lot more sources for conflict also. Respect goes a long way and just because she is your boyfriends ex doesn't mean you can't get along. After all you both liked the same guy at different times so you have one thing in common to start. With the kids you have another. Just be open before things get to a point where conflict is a result rather than an option.
2006-06-25 12:14:59 · answer #2 · answered by alagk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Will Try To Keep This Right To The Point,
She Might Be The ~ EX ~ But She And Your Man,
Share Children Together.
She Will Always Be A Part Of Your Lives.
You Are Right Now The Bad,
And Will Be Until The Children Are Older, And Make There Own Decisions.
If You Open You Mouth, Say Something To Her, Or About Her, And The Kids Hear,
Again , You Are The Bad One~ !
If Your Man Loves You ~ Respects You ~ And Has A Back Bone,
He Should Be The One,
Opening His Mouth,
Making Sure You Get Respect From,
The EX And The Children.
Let Him Do The Talking, It,s Different When He Does.
Take Care, ~*~*~*~*~Peace.
2006-06-25 12:19:37 · answer #3 · answered by Brat-tett & Brat Pack's 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just have to put up with it. You should have thought about the situation before you moved in with a guy and his children. Surely, you don't expect him to neglect his kids just because they were born to another woman. As far as the ex wife goes, teach the kids some bad habits or let them do the stuff she won't let them do...trust me, she'll probably never let them visit again.
2006-06-25 12:05:53 · answer #4 · answered by Chainsawmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sympathize with you on this one. My b/f ex lives 1.000 miles away but she still seems to forget she is the one who left him. We have his 10yo in the summer...or I should say I do because he is only home on weekends....All I hear during the year is 'He's not her son...he's not her responsibility.....and then she turns around and "needs a break" so we have to change our plans to take him cuz its convenient for her. Then its okay for me to be involved as long as we keep him. If you get an answer let me know. LOL
2006-06-25 12:09:09 · answer #5 · answered by evelyn_31565 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did OK, let the kids know that you love them but explain that you need some time for there dad and you. Have a long talk with your husband and he should have a talk with his ex wife!!
Good Luck
Kenny
2006-06-25 12:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by schleinee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her straight but calmly that you love the kids and don't mind having them over, but that you need to know in advance. If she can't understand that then shes just being spiteful.
2006-06-25 12:05:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its not your boyfriends weekend, then she should keep them. But, just dumping them, thats not right when she was told no. Sounds like you have your hands full. Take care.
2006-06-25 12:07:01 · answer #8 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to speak to your boyfriend about this and let him know how you feel let him lay the ground rules with her so your nott he bad one she will try any situation to manipulate your relationship with her ex your now boyfriend,also when you have his kids over explain to them the situation also so they understand too,
2006-06-25 12:18:48 · answer #9 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep doing what you did,you are a great person and it is your life also
2006-06-25 12:05:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋