how do you deal with mean hurtful roomers being spred about you?

Question

I have several mean "Popular" girls speredding mean and hutful rummers about me. they over strech the ttruth.
ex.
One day the hitory teacher partnered me with lets just say a less then popular boy. The same day the roomer starts that we are going out. Any help???

Answer 1

You seem to be finding yourself in an extremely common teenage dilemma. Of course, the easiest advice for me to give you would be to ignore their catty remarks, but I know that can be really difficult advice to follow. Some people are more sensitive than others, so when hurtful things are said, everyone responds differently.

It may help to confront them directly, and ask them why they find it necessary to spread unkind rumors about you. Chances are they are jealous of you, or feel threatend by you in some way.

If you don't feel comfortable doing that, you could try to spread the truth instead. Rumors spread at the speed of light, but the truth can too. If you can respond the moment you hear the rumor, impassionately, and calmly with the truth, it is less likely people will believe the rumor.

It might also help, if you have any bolder friends, to explain what is going on to them. Your friends are your biggest defense, and will go to bat for you if you ask them. They can back you up, explain the truth to others, or just give you a shoulder to lean on when things get a little tough. Don't be afraid to ask them for help.

The most important thing, in all of this however, is not what to do. It's what NOT to do. Any bully wants a reaction, they want to know they've gotten to you. There are two ways they'll know.
A. If you show obvious emotion
B. If you try to retaliate with rumors about them.
The first thing can be hard to control, I know, because I'm very sensitive. You have to try your hardest though, not to show them any emotion, or let them know they've gotten to you. If you do, they'll only continue their unkind treatment. The second thing is often a natural response; someone hurts you, you hurt them. If you've been a gossip victim, it's easy to try to spread rumors about your attacker, or reveal secrets of theirs. In the end however, you just create what you are trying to fight.
In the end, try to deal with it in a way that no one knows you've been hurt. Hopefully, the bullying will stop then, if they don't believe it's having any effect.

I hope this helps, and I'd like to know how things turn out for you!

Answer 2

You need to stand up for yourself people will walk all over you if you let them. If you just sit back and let them pick on you then they will never leave you alone. I had problems with this one group of girls in middle school. They would always call me names and try to start stuff with me. It was one girl in particular that really bothered me. She was alot bigger than me so I was a little intimidated. Well one day she decided she was going to walk past me and push me, and basically I just snapped. All the built up anger and frustration all came out in that moment. I turned around and pushed her as hard as I could into a locker, and guess what she never bothered me again. I'm not telling you to go around and beat them all uup or any thing but stick up for yourself, don't let them see you sweat. Bitchy girls like that can smell fear so don't let them see that they are getting to you. They must be jealous of you for some reason. I'v noticed that most of the time when girls act like that it's because they are insecure about a characteristic that you posses and they want. So just say something to them and stand tall when you do don't be intimidated thats what they want. (I will never forget the shock on that girls face when I pushed her, it was priceless)

Answer 3

Who cares?
That is teen life. In a few years, you will wonder why you were so paranoid. BTW, what is wrong with the boy? Maybe he has a lot going for him...does he have to be "popular"?

You are being rude yourself by thinking like that. Grow up a little, the world is a big place.

ps: ignore those girls, and focus on true friendship.

Answer 4

So what if they start rumors...the best thing to do is ignore them and just worry about the truth yourself. Tell them that you don't have to stoop to thier level just to feel good about yourself. So what if you got partnered with a less popluar kid..someday that kid might be one of the coolest people you know. Don't let what some stuck up girls say affect you. Just be happy with how you feel about yourself cuz someday they are gonna realize that they are pathetic and they truley have no real friends.

Answer 5

Those girls suck. And believe me, what goes around comes around. Kharma, baby. Anyhow, with any luck you can catch someone saying something as you walk by, stop and turn to them and add some ridiculous ending to it. Fight the urge to retaliate. Don't ever act like it bugs you, keep a smile on your face. They want to imtimidate you and make you feel like crap because that's how they, themselves, feel. So please take pride that you are not that way, and please don't ever be. That you don't have to make people feel bad to make yourself feel good. And, you know what, that less popular guy is probably pretty cool. Much more cool and real than any of the popular guys could ever be.

Answer 6

Try to think of a way, to prove that they're just rumors. If your school has a newspaper of it's own, write to the school news paper. If your city's newspaper has an advice column, write to it, with what you said here. Of course, you could ignor the rumors, until they cause you a lot of trouble. Also tell anyone who asks you about the rumors, that they're not true.

Answer 7

Stop, get quiet for a moment. Pray to the Lord to give you stregnth and wisdom for that circumstance. He'll always come thru for you.! There are so many times people are ugly, but that doesn't mean we have to be. Also remember, you won't know these people forever...one day soon...they'll be just a memory.

Answer 8

How does one (presumably) spread a roomer? Isn't there some sort of law about abusing tenants like that?

Answer 9

hold head high and ignore the rumors
the rumor will fade and the "popular" girls will move onto another person to pick on
If you say anything back..
all you are doing is "adding fuel to the fire"
best to try to ignore it

Answer 10

first off people like that are ignorant and they are everywhere. you will just have to ignore them, they shouldnt mean anything to you. tell them to grow up and stop acting immature. if all they focus on is your life and what's going on in it then they have no life . they are defined by making others suffer. they are the pitiful ones.