I love my baby dearly, but she is constantly being expelled in school. She's around relatives that are loud and this is carried over into her school behavior..How can I be there for her and show her positive influences? This is really stressing me out because my life is ok; just so many issues with her.
2006-06-25 11:51:54 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Primary & Secondary Education
Grade 4 is a very significant grade; studies show that the achievement of children in fourth grade is a pretty good indication of how they will do in high school. Kids who struggle with authority or with the academic demands of 4th grade nearly always have the same issues for the rest of their school careers.
Try meeting with the school staff, making them aware of any home situations she may have, and any things you have come to recognize as academic difficulties. The better the communication between the school and home, the more likely things are going to be addressed consistently and effectively.
As a teacher with nearly 20 years experience at the high school level, I can't tell you how many kids I teach that have been having exactly the same types of problems since fourth grade. Schools (even poor ones) do have the responsibility to address the needs of the students.
2006-06-25 12:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by P. M 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Cookiemunster and dianeb have good advice. Communication, communication, communication. Be able to talk to your daughter. Ask her questions about her opinions and thought on things. Treat her like an adult. By that I mean to give validation to what she thinks and says like her opinion counts. Spend more quality time with her like going places where families go. Make matching bracelets and other crafts. Any other activities that would make her feel good about herself and your relationship so that she can view you as a positive role model. Also make sure she spends the least amount of time possible with those negative influences. If she is around them because you have to work and she needs a place to go, have her join a girl scout troop or other activity maybe in school. As long as she is around those negative influences she may think its cool to act like they do. Also make sure she is reading alot and you do the same and share info. I take my kids to the library and to the book strores regularly like Borders and Barnes and noble. We don't always by a book but it in nice to go look at magazines and book to share aopinions and ideas. I've been where you are. And I did things differently when I had my second daugher who is 14 years apart from her sister. She is 15, very grounded and an A student and so is my 12 yr. old son. Too bad I didn't know this when I had my first. It would have saved us alot of arguments and grief. But she is 29 and a great mother with 2 kids. I finally did get to have some good influences on her after all.
2006-06-25 19:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by lqdolls 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friend, if she is "constantly" being expelled...seems like the school should be digging deeper so see if "testing" by child study team is necessary? Maybe she has a "need" that you are not aware of...you can't possibly meet a need that you don't know exists...doing the same thing round and round isn't working. This shouldn't fall solely on your shoulders. That is what the school is partly there for. I know...I have 2 of "those"...Hope this helps. I am sure you have already sat her down and asked her why she does the things she is doing? & if she is "thinking it thru to the end"..(consequences) Alot of adhd kids and other "non typical" kids have that situation of "not thinking situations thru"....it's not in their natural make up.
2006-06-25 18:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by diane b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HOMESCHOOL HER!!!!
it's a long haul but being around adults is a good thing for kids. the problem a lot of kids have is they spend too much time for other kids so they keep whatever maturity level they have equal with those around them so they make the same stupid mistakes and do the same stupid things as everyone else.
staying out of trouble and all that is taught by wise parents or the school of hard knocks.
do fun things two days a week with her; tennis? baking? you know, something educational and fun.
but for one year i would look into homeschooling her; if she's a hassle in fourth grade, what'll happen when she hits jr.high?
good luck!
oh! and fourth grade is not too young spank. just thought i'd say that...
2006-06-25 19:01:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't misunderstand me when I say this but, have you had her checked for behavioural problems/learning difficulties/eyesight/hearing tests? I say this because I know a little boy who was extremely naughty when he was younger, but they found out he couldn't see or hear properly, when he got glasses and a hearing aid, he changed and became a lovely person. I personally have just discovered I have something wrong with me, if you look at my blog you'll see what it is. Just because your daughter has behavioural problems doesn't make you a bad person, I know a lot of parents blame themselves and sometimes it really is their fault, but from the way you sound, I'm sure you've always done your very best for your children.
2006-06-26 04:29:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU need to be more involved in your daughter's life to counter the influence of the behaviour and attitude of the "loud" relatives. If they are your relatives let them know your concerns.
Plan more time when you and your daughter can be alone together as "friends. She is your daughter so she is YOUR responsibility- Reach out.
2006-06-25 23:55:04 · answer #6 · answered by springday 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to encourage "good" behaviour. start acting like an adult towards her, do adult things together.
example, take her to libaray and resturants, show her manners and the importance of respect.
find a suitable tutor for homework, which will give her the confidence to excell at skool. u need to show her options in life. if ur family is influencing her to be loud, keep her away from them. they are not a good example. kids do what adult do infront of them, they like to be a copy cat. talk to your family, and if they respect u they will help u. how is ur husband or the father to the child? does he help, get his encouragement. when dad taught me about respecting myself and what boys like in a girl i changed my behaviour because i saw the "real world" and whats really out there.
one more advice, teach her a musical instrument, this gives a child patience and she will be less stressed.
please dont give up, u can help your daughter, she is just in a "confused " stage of her life. i was like that
one more thing...be organised, your daughter will follow your steps. organisation is the best thing.
:)good luck
2006-06-25 19:01:01 · answer #7 · answered by kiss2envy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
little girls who tend to act this way is usually because someone is hurting them physically mentally or even sexually. They maybe afraid to talk about it, so they tend to rebelled. You need to sit ur daughter down and talk to her, let her feel that she could tell you anything about everything that goes on in her life no matter what....and let her know that u love her and you wouldnt get mad at her.. I have 2 girls (4 and 10 years), and i talk to them about everything and they feel comfortable with me.... you need to keep the communication lines open...
2006-06-25 19:04:27 · answer #8 · answered by sweetp4eva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is pretty bad if she is only 10 and already having problems. YOU need to get her under control or she will be in more trouble when she gets older.
2006-06-25 18:55:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well a child does what a child sees and the influences that build a child charachter last a lif time its uo to the parents to put there child in an environment that is good and you reep what you sew
2006-06-25 18:55:28 · answer #10 · answered by good guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋