the problem is i've been married for 7 yrs to someone else!! we've been having ALOT of problems lately, and when im with my friend, i feel so free, and happy...is there such a thing as loving one person, but falling in love with another? i dont know what to do....
2006-06-25 11:35:57 · 22 answers · asked by skye 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just because you are married doesn't mean you can't have feelings for someone else - but when you do have these feelings it's because you open yourself up and allow yourself to feel that way. The fact that you have been having a ton of problems with your marriage isn't a surprise as most married couples who have problems tend to reach out to other people (cheat, fall in love, etc) rather than work on fixing their marriage.
The grass is never greener on the other side - even if it looks or feels that way. You made a committment to your husband and you should honor that. Marriage isn't easy but if you are both putting 100% into it, it will work. You need to open up the communication and start being honest about how you both feel. Be honest about what you need from your hubby and ask him to do the same - then start rebuilding the parts of your marriage that need it. Seeing a marriage counselor would also be a great way for you to get your marriage back on the right track.
2006-06-25 11:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is for 'Better or Worse'.... You should really try with your marriage first..... Yes there is such a thing of loving one and falling for another but that is not right or fair to your husband. Would you like it done to you?! Any relationship new is fun and exciting, but the newness, as you know, wears off and reality sets in.... If you have a good husband now really, really think about it before you ruin it.... Maybe your friendship with this guy friend of yours is part of your problems!!!!! Good Luck.....
2006-06-25 12:21:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would sound as if your torn between two lovers. There are soul mates. There is true love. Yet you have a marriage that is not doing great. Ask yourself if it would be worth it to end 7yrs of marriage whether this other guy was around or not. Would this other guy give you everything and more than your current husband? Do you have children? I would weigh out the pros and cons and really think hard before doing anything, but You can love someone and fall inlove with another.
2006-06-25 11:42:16 · answer #3 · answered by m0mmatcat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you need to distance yourself from the "soul mate". if he truly is he'll give you time to figure this out. then you need to sit down and talk with your husband about what is going wrong in the relationship and give the relationship a chance to get back to what it used to be. it sounds to me like you have become bored in your relationship and when your are with this other person, you don't have to deal with all the stresses of life. you could be living in your own fantasy world. this other guy may not feel as strongly as you do but you have convinced yourself that he does. you need to figure out what you want and need before you do anything drastic. as yourself if this other guy had not come along again would you be considering leaving your husband? the grass is not always greener. sometimes we as women create a relationship where there is none because we are not happy with the one we are currently in. take a good look at yourself and don't do anything you're going to regret later. trust me. i've been there and done that and i almost lost the most important thing to me and would have had nothing to show for it in the end.
2006-06-25 11:47:40 · answer #4 · answered by fungirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sure... "Trixwagen told me to get a divorce so I can spend more time with my true love and no more time with that troublesome husband of mine..who swept me off my feet when I was young and vulnerable. I'm a lot wiser now!"
We both know that that free and happy feeling you get from your alleged "soul mate" will probably fade over time. We both know that where are right now is not working. The question is, how important is loyalty to you? Are you more like George Bush who will never, ever deviate from a decision (right or wrong) or more like John Kerry, who will waffle, admitt he was wrong and move on. Neither is inherently better. Are you willing to work HARD to put things right with your husband again? Was your husband your soul mate 7 years ago?
Think it over. If you married your husband thinking he was someone else or thinking you could change him to what you wanted, maybe it is time to end that relationship.
If I hear one more "I love you but I'm not in love with you" conversation, I'm throwing my keyboard across the room.
Either you love your husband and you want to make it work with him or you DON'T. Are there children involved?
2006-06-25 11:49:13 · answer #5 · answered by trixwagen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ask yourself what made you say yes when he said will you marry me and what made you fall in love with him in the first place and look at the positive and ask yourself if you really meant it when you said for better or worse. Your only been married for seven years! Part of marriage is sticking to it. You set yourself up by putting yourself with someone and allowing yourself to get into a relationship you have no business getting into and you know this but you need to put that energy into your marriage not throwing it away becuse guess what, This guy will diappoint you to and the next and the next becuase noone is perfect. Of couse you feel happy and free with your friend there is not committment and you don't live with one another driving each other crazy....the grass is always greener...
2006-06-25 11:41:18 · answer #6 · answered by xx_muggles_xx 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side. But first if you really love the person you are married to then try to work things out with him. Communication with the one you are married to is very important. Make your decision on them first, and then go from there. Having a friend might be one of your problems with your marriage.
2006-06-25 11:43:23 · answer #7 · answered by mickey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe in soul mates - you can fall in/out of love, and be in love with many people imho. If you feel your current marriage is without hope, then you should move on. Either way you need to be honest with your husband about the situation. Sometimes we can cause problems to conveniently allow us an out without having to consciously make that decision.
2006-06-25 11:39:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do no longer placed lots inventory in astrology. My spouse is a "gemini" and that i'm a "virgo" and that they are meant to be diametrically detrimental,yet we've a great courting. we are soul friends for specific. we are very diverse yet that doesn't recommend something.BTW a soul mate no remember if intentionally or no longer shouldn't in any respect make you experience this variety. Crying over something you may think of you want isn't a stable indication of something meant to be. relax and supply up nerve-racking lots and pass confer with him. you may locate him to be what you theory,or you may locate him to be completely incompatible for you.
2016-10-31 11:34:42 · answer #9 · answered by awad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think it's possible to be with someone for so long and start to loose feelings to another man. You need to be careful with this. You need to make sure the other guy feels the same way. You need to make sure this is what you really want. And most importantly you need to be honest with your husband before you DO ANYTHING. Don't cheat. Just be honest.
2006-06-25 11:38:50 · answer #10 · answered by J~Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋