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My exboyfriend broke up with me almost 3 months ago. We were still talking and seeing each other every so often. But I'm starting to question myself on whether we should still be "friends" or should I just stop talking to him? I still love him very much and it makes it even harder because I am still hurt from the break up. He has done alot of bad things both in and out of the relationship. I want to know if being friends is a good thing both for now or the future or should I move on completely? Any advice?

2006-06-25 11:15:49 · 18 answers · asked by Lessons_in_life10 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

If it would make it worse to not talk, what will be the outcome?

2006-06-25 11:19:19 · update #1

18 answers

I would stick with your gut but it seems like you still want to be friends with him. I cant really help you because you need to do what you think is right. I also think that not speaking at all would amke it worse but thats just my opinion.

2006-06-25 11:17:51 · answer #1 · answered by LaurLaur 3 · 0 1

Its time for you to move on. The sooner you break the emotional attachment, the sooner you can begin to heal and find a healthy relationship to participate in. What benefits are you gaining from continuing to communicate? You repeatedly rip the scab off the wound and put yourself in the position to get hurt more than you already have been. He made a decision to break up with you. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? They are not going to treat you with the love and respect each of us want to be treated with. He'll probably just try to get in your pants because he thinks he can. Don't waste your time with him anymore. You are taking away from the time in which you could be meeting someone that wants to be with you.

And BTW don't listen to dumb Michelle. Immediately going out with some other guy to "distract" yourself is not a healthy way to deal with it. All it does is keep the true issue festering under the surface. Take time to be alone and deal with it. It won't be fun at first, because you'll think about it,it will hurt and you will have to fight the urge to call him. Eventually you will have cried all the tears you can and will start to feel better. Do things to improve yourself until you feel better and are ready. Start a new hobby or join a club. Jumping into something new right away is NOT the answer.

If you want to try and be friends, don't talk for 6 months first.

2006-06-25 11:23:22 · answer #2 · answered by slap_shot69 3 · 0 0

the first component to do is do not panic. She is probably already scared sufficient because it really is, so if you're her buddy your pastime is to calm her down and help her imagine rationally so she does no longer make a mistake that she will be able to later be apologetic about. attempt to persuade her to consult her mom, yet when that does no longer artwork bypass to a distinct adult like a instructor because her well being AND her infant will be on the line. She desires to be checked through a medical professional, to make optimistic she extremely is pregnant so as that she isn't irritating for no longer something, and if she is, she has to go back to a decision what she needs to do. Adoption, abortion, preserving the baby etc. there are assorted innovations, so make optimistic she knows that there is a answer and that each little thing will be very well. the most important component is only to be there for her and instruct her that she isn't on my own. good success, and that i wish this become efficient!

2016-11-15 06:12:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

in the same boat here & now. I have really kept my distance, as hard as it's been. I am trying to be friends and it does just keep the pain there, but it does fade and the contact we have went from daily, to weekly, now b-weekly; I know it will soon fade away and that's alright, I can't make someone want to be with me. I think it's best to just move on honestly, if they love you enough they will come back for you and if your not taken at that point things may work out. Good luck.

2006-06-25 11:57:01 · answer #4 · answered by wolf1230pack 2 · 0 0

if u are still in love with him and he is NOT reacting on your LOVE then i think its better u keep distance, because it will hurt u seeing him and not having a possibility to love him the way u want it...u dont get a kiss (or just a friendly one maybe, not a lovers one), u cant touch him (not as lovers touch each other)...and thats frustrating...but if u still get hope he will love u again, then u should keep the contact going...on the other side, be just friends is NOT what u want from him (because u still love him); u gonna make it yourself very difficult if u wanna deny your love; and say...'if i cant get his love then im gonna except his friendship' is not a solution, because its not the same thing (love goes much deeper then a friendship...and friendship is gonna be a surrogate from the love u feel)....its all up to u...good luck with it (remember: love is the only emotion)

2006-06-25 11:50:31 · answer #5 · answered by fonspapens 1 · 0 0

Definitely try to stay away if you're still hurting. You need time to move on and heal your wounds. I'm not saying don't be friends later, but maybe once you feel better you'll realize that maybe it's not worth being friends with someone who's not really a nice person to you. since you have a bad history, maybe it's better to distance yourself now, and cut your losses.

Good luck.

2006-06-25 11:20:50 · answer #6 · answered by grldragon101 4 · 0 0

Do not talk to him. Its not a good idea to be talking as a friend cuz if you find somebody and you still talking with ur ex you probably are not going to have feelings for the next person in your heart, or some other people that comes to your life you are not going to be able to meet some other people or have feelings for them. Thats a sin talking to your ex! Lol

2006-06-25 11:54:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i truely think u should move on because if he had hurt u in the past n u guys are still friends, i feel that he's just playing it off and thinking that all those things he's done to u in the past is alright and if it hurt u that much and u still love him then stop talking to him and show him u do have feelings and don't let things such as those just fade away...........i mean c'mon. weren't ur feelings hurt? and u still talk to this guy? hell no i would dump his *** in a quick sec.

2006-06-25 11:20:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

When my and my ex broke up, i tried to talk to him, but every time i did, i got mad. And the stupid thing was we were in the same class. And i still had feelings for him as well. But as the years roll by, we became good friends and we joke about why he cheated on me and stuff like that. But it all depends on you and your bf. Everybody is different. Some people could handle the friendship with their ex, and som people dont want anything to do with them.

2006-06-25 11:19:53 · answer #9 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0 0

I think that you should just move on. Its now an unhealthy relationship for you. He really isn't worth being friends with if he has done things to make you feel this way. If he asks, just tell him you feel its too unhealthy for you, that it hurts, and you don't want to be around someone who causes that kind of pain, guys should be begging for your forgiveness, be stern, be a modern woman, put your foot down.

2006-06-25 11:19:44 · answer #10 · answered by The Great Pretender 2 · 0 0

I still talk to my ex about once a week, we also agreed to stay friends. I still care about him and it makes it hard to move on when he still calls. He knows that and plays it against me when he hears I have a date. I wish now I had made a clean break and not kept talking to him, but now it is hard to let go.

2006-06-25 11:20:20 · answer #11 · answered by laserbeam1971 1 · 0 0

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