what do I do?

Question

I have been married to my husband for 8yrs I am trying to find new ways to spice up our intamite life there r some things that I want to try but I am not sure how to suggest them to him without sounding like a freak any suggestions

what if its something real kinky

Answer 1

Why don't you just begin doing them--slowly at first, giving him a chance to stop you if he is uncomfortable with it--and see how he responds?

Answer 2

If you are truly a loving, intimate couple, everything will be allright. Just tell him that there's something you want to do, whatever it is. If he is a loving, understanding guy, then the worst that will happen is for him to say he doesn't want to and perhaps mention an alternative.

It sounds like you have something in mind already; the question is whether that's something that's weighed on your mind for 8 years, or just something that has always created a little spark in you. If it's weighed heavily on your mind, you may want to talk about it, not as a bedroom suggestion, but as a concern in your relationship.

It also depends on what you want to try. Some people find something erotic that others would consider nothing special, or worse, just the opposite. So you may need to consider his likes and dislikes when talking about it.

But, I think you'll be okay. Just open up and be vulnerable to him. If he attacks you in that vulnerability, it probably means you need to see a marriage councelor anyhow.

In any case, good luck!

Answer 3

What I have been reading about with most of the questions that have been ask. Is from people who have a devoted marriage with one another questioning them selves and others on what they should do to spice up their marriage! If you have married this person out of true love,then why does the subject of lust keep popping up? When a couple comes together as one, the love, lust, and all other desires, come with! Experimenting with your husband/wife, is a common thing to do, it is also very precious, and relaxing! (Not to mention, A Whole Lot Of Fun!!!!) L.O.L. It helps the love & trust that you have for one another to become even stronger then what it was before, and also helps your love life to be alot more fullfilling as well as stronger! Why don't you try a new experiment on him,(even if it is kinkey)? And then if it seems to be alot of fun for the two of you you guys will do it more often!
Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

Depends what it is. If you want him to juggle knives, while wearing a diaper and dancing with a midget...thats a little hard to just propose out of the blue. In that case...I would suggest working on role play to introduce the diaper. Then, get frisky in the kitchen while chopping celery, thereby introducing cutlery into the equation. Next, go to the circus and talk up some midgets. They are game for anything. Your husband will either love you like no other...or run like hell.

Answer 5

After eight years of marriage, I'm wondering what is making you unhappy about your sex life as it is. I wish I knew, for instance, if you have been absorbed by Soap Operas or Romance Novels or Pornography. If so, then my advice would be to clean up your act. On the other hand, if you have a need that is not being met, your relationship with your husband should be able to withstand a little honest conversation on the subject of experimenting in the bedroom.

Answer 6

To my way of thinking, you should feel free to suggest things in this arena to your husband without the fear of ridicule or shame. Sex isn't "dirty" or "weird." As long as no one is getting hurt and it's consensual, everyone involved should keep an open mind and try new things once in a while. Sometimes, getting out of your comfort zone can lead to an interest you never knew you had.

Answer 7

Don't worry about sounding like a freak. Heck they want a freak in the bed. Let go of your inhibitions and explore what intimacy is really about. Get a karma sutura book or visit an adult store, it's time to let your mind run free.

Answer 8

Just surprise him...

Guys like a little variety in the bedroom. I think your husband would probably be into anything you suggest...short of bringing another dude into the mix...then again maybe your husband is a closet freak too?

Just have fun with it.

Answer 9

It doesn't matter if it is twenty years, if you have to spice up the relation...it's because the male has found something that is dishonorable to him for one and the other is immaturity.

When a man loves a woman for who she is and what she stands for and she does absolutely nothing to hurt him in any way..then he's a jerk for letting the flame go out.
In my greatest of moments...a woman that a man finds desireable is dangerous and could cause a heartattack for him early in the realtionship until he gets in shape.

Answer 10

IF YOU TWO HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 8 YEARS THEN YOU BOTH SHOULD FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING TO EACH OTHER ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU CAN TRY ROLE PLAYING, OR MAYBE HE CAN SUGGEST SOMETHING AND YOU CAN ALSO IN RETURN. THE BOTTOM LINE IS THIS, COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO KEEPING A GOOD MARRIAGE GOING. I'M PRETTY SURE THAT ANYTHING YOU RECOMMEND, AS A MAN HE'LL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO OBLIGE.

Answer 11

Don't suggest them. Just bring them home and surprise him! Light some candles and turn on some music and set the mood and then bring them out. If there is something there he does not want to try move on to something else.