can u make me laugh?

Question

comon just say anything funy .. i just hada damp fight wirthmy dad and am totaly madd.. :S

Answer 1

Hey I guess you remember me.Here is another sardarji joke just for you.LOL
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a Sardarji, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally the Sardarji arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the Sardarji arrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview ?". Sardarji replied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.

Answer 2

here's some funny jokes:

"It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky."
"I was at this casino minding my own business and this guy came up to me and said your gonna have to move you're blocking a fire exit. As if there were a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you are flamable and have legs you are never blocking a fire exit."

"Alcoholism, is a disease, but it's the only disease that you can get yelled at for having. Dammit Otto, your an alcoholic. Dammit Otto, you have Lupis. One of those two doesn't sound right."

"I opened a yogurt and underneath the lid it said "please try again" they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I had opened the yogurt wrong.Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me. Come on Mitch, don't give up! An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top."

"When you go a resturant on the weekends and it's busy so they start a waiting list. They say Dufrane, party of two, table ready for Dufrane, party of two , and if no one answers they'll say the name again, Dufrane, party of two. Bu then if no one answers, they'll move on to the next name. Bush party of three. Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes, No one seems to care, who can eat at a time like this? People are missing. You people are selfish. The Dufranes are in someone's trunk right now ,with duct tape over their mouths and they're hungry.That's a double whammy! We need help! Bush search party of three. You can eat once you find the Dufranes."

Answer 3

Lorelai: There goes my little girl, off to rule the world!
Wow, you're pretty, you're smart. Now all you need as a drunken relative behind the scenes embarrassing you with every move they make.
Rory: Will you get on that?
Lorelai: I'm two steps ahead of you - Gilmore Girls

Answer 4

I can make you laugh. try this one.

What Starts with F and ends with K
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.


While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.


Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.


Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"


Harry: "9."


Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"


Harry: "36."


And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.


The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."


Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."


The principal and Harry both agreed.


Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"


Harry, after a moment: "Legs."


Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"


The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!


Harry replied: "Pockets."


Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"


Harry: "Pants."


Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"


Harry: "Coconut."


The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.


Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"


The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."


Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"


Harry: "Shake hands."


The principal was trembling.


Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"


Harry: "Firetruck."


The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... "



did that one work? if not how 'bout this one


Walkin in Womens Underwear

Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear (to be sung to "Walkin'
in a winter wonderland")

Lacy things - the wife is missin', Didn't ask - her
permission, I'm wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' round in women's underwear.

In the store - there's a teddy, Little straps - like
spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' round in women's underwear.

In the office there's a guy named Melvin, He pretends
that I am Murphy Brown. He'll say, "Are you ready?"
We'll say,"Whoa, Man!" "Let's wait until our wives are
out of town!"

Later on, if you wanna, We can dress - like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade, And join the parade, Walkin' round
in women's underwear!

Lacy things ... Missin', Didn't ask ... permission,
Wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' round
in women's underwear, Walkin' round in women's underwear,
Walkin' round in women's underwear!

Answer 5

So John Kerry walks into a bar and the bartender says...
"why the long face?"
hahahaha I love that one

Answer 6

i can make any body laugh trust me ok there was three guys one of them was naked they went to the store and stole some camdy bars the naked one had the candy basr in his hands up in the air because three blonds showed the other two ran so the first blond stuck a quarter in his mouth pulled on his dick he dropped a candy bar second one stuck a quarter in his mouth oulled on his dick and dropped the candy bar third blond stuck a quarter in his mouth pulled on his dick nothing she did it agai nothing so she left funny huh

Answer 7

When a midget is missing, do they put his picture on a carton of half-and-half?

Answer 8

whats long and green and smells like pork?


Kermits finger


It will only make sense if you know the muppet babies.

Answer 9

what did the the chicken say to Will Smith:

let's SWITCH

Answer 10

- I heard you look for a new cashier?
- Yes, and for the old one too.