I have ben seperated from my husband 5 months....he knew for 4 years i was unhappy.he never did anything with me, never cleaned up and tried to look nice...I dropped hints , but all he did was ignore them or get mad...never wanted to deal with them...now he doesnt want a divorce .he thinks i should try to lov ehim....so he will be happy. Now he is trying he says to change all the things i couldnt stand any longer..........he knew i wasnt happy years ago.but he guilted me into staying then because of our kids.
2006-06-25 09:28:05 · 8 answers · asked by kathy G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my kids are all grown 33,31, 29, 27.he has had 35 yrs of my life .since i was 14 and he was 22
he has never been good to me ..cheated 18 monyhs after we married
2006-06-25 10:08:04 · update #1
You won't convince him ,all you can do is file for divorce and let your lawyer know that he won't believe it's over ,once the divorce is in pipe line then aqnd only then mite he accept it really is over,i would suggest you keep contact to a minimum that way he will start to get the idea you ae not coming back,if you have been in contact on a regular basis he may feel he still stands a chance but you can't turn the clock back and if you don't love him you will only be even more unhappy if you return out of guilt because he is miserable without you,GOOD LUCK
2006-06-25 10:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by okayalder62 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
simply wave as the screen door slams shut. that is the way my ex did me and I think that if that is all the dedication and committment you women have then just wave and leave. guilted or not the circumstances are committment and the acceptance of the others shortcomings are supposed to be part of the package. Some will change immediately, some over time but the problem with the marriages of today is it is full of QUITTERS. I do not care who did what if one is disatisfied with the other I believe they should pack their clothes and be allowed to leave. Not take the kids, not take the furniture, not take the assets or debt, just pack your bags and leave. Do not stay where you are unhappy because your mate doesn't live up to your expectation or you are not having fun. Everyone that is married should have the option to just leave. That is all. No divisions of anything. Take your clothes and leave the rest of the family alone. They can replace a quitter but most women want to break the family apart, destroy bonds that have been built, lie about circumstances and get into a fight about debts, assets and mine and yours and have it blessed in court under the line, "In the best interest of the kids." The divorce and breakage of the family alone is not in their best interest and it is allowed to happen. Then everyone hides behind the children and have made it a 24 billion dollar a year industry and no one really cares about the kids. I have no compassion for any mate wanting to desert a family simply because of superficial problems. They are like the administration of our courts providing the constant deterioration of an institution that at one time a person could be proud of has been eroded into something I can try and change if I do not like it. And we wonder why our kids are confused and do not understand. They are smarter than we are.
2006-06-25 16:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by andyman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He would have to put forth an effort first, by showing me rather then telling me.
men can say whatever out of their mouths and then do the opposite of what they say, women too, but in this case you said he has known for years,
a relationship consists of more then just one person, if you don't care enough to make someone happy that you admittedly love then whats the real question? ( do you even know what love is). it is about what you want right now, not what he wants, tell him what you want and see if he delivers then make a decision. don't be so Hasty to return to a miserable situation. Heck you can do better or bad by yourself!
2006-06-25 16:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by Honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep away, get the divorce and maybe if he is really serious, he can try to win you back, if you stay he hasn't really lost you and won't work on trying to get you back. You will also find out if he is even willing to fight to win you back or if he will just move on without a fight, either way you deserve to be loved, whoever is willing to make the effort will be right for you and your kids.
2006-06-25 17:02:03 · answer #4 · answered by Theresa S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not all about him. If you truly do not love this man anymore tell him sorry, but he killed everything you ever felt for him and it's gone for good. You're moving on with your life and he can do the same or wallow in self pity.
2006-06-25 16:38:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, he waited until he lost you. If you still love him, tell him to make the changes and take it from there. However, if you want to move on then just tell him that he had his chance 4 years ago and it's too late.
2006-06-25 16:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by charlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just sit down and tell him, the truth is always the best
2006-06-25 16:39:01 · answer #7 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them bye-bye
2006-06-25 16:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋