Ok, my wife and I are having problems - we have been since the point when we got serious.
First, she has a son that isn't mine. He hates school because it is hard and thinks it isn't needed for life. Everytime I try to help him in school he gets really upset, so my wife comes in and stops it and causes a HUGE fight. If I give him extra work same thing. However when I helped him he passed everything. This year I gave her what she wanted and didn't help him or give him extra work. He got 3 F's and 3 D's. But she doesn't want to hear anything about it or we fight.
She has a little dog that craps in the house all the time. I asked her to train it better but she did nothing Then I suggested to her how and she did nothing, then I showed her how to train it and same thing. If I tell her she has to train it we have a huge fight about me causing fights. Every fight we have is her fighting for what she wants and me for what both agree is best for the family. What do I do?
2006-06-25 08:56:47 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Every subject we fight about starts out small, but when she doesn't fix whatever the problem is I have to bring it up again. The fight gets a little bigger. Then, the next 10 times when she makes the same mistake the fights get a little bigger. She admits she made a mistake EVERYTIME but she will make that same mistake next time she is in the same situation. Then we fight about it some more and she starts getting emotional and saying I think she is a horrible wife, then asks why I stick around and take it if it is so bad. The next time she makes the same mistake and now the fights get huge because I am tired of her doing the same things over and over and she has no remorse but admits she should have not done whatever. I'm getting so tired.
2006-06-25 09:01:43 · update #1
Everything starts out a talk, but if someone punches you in the arm and you ask that they don't do it again. Then they do it again and you ask nicely again. Then they do it again and you nicely demand for them to stop. Then they do it again and it is a real problem cause your arm is really hurting now and you need it to do your job so you can help take care of the family. Then they do it again and you are really hurting and you start fighting about it. Then her only argument back is not to tell her what to do and that she is tired of talking about it.
2006-06-25 09:05:52 · update #2
When we were dating, one of the things she liked most about me was that I was a great father figure. She'll still tell you that all day.
2006-06-25 09:09:31 · update #3
It sounds like she doesn't respect your input into the family. Not only that, but she doesn't want responsibility over anything. Her son's disregard for education didn't come out of nowhere, I'm guessing she doesn't want to take control, and never really did.
Sweetheart, I'm sure you love her very very much... But this woman does not appreciate you, and by the sound of what you're doing for her, you're a wonderful man.
You should take her to marriage counseling, and if that doesn't show any change within the first few months, leave her. I know there are girls out there that would kill to be with a nice guy like you, and they would work WITH you, not against you. =)
2006-06-25 09:04:24 · answer #1 · answered by Velocity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is get out fast. She has no respect for you at all and yet evidently hasn't got the guts to tell u to go so is hoping she will make u mad enough to pack up yourself.
However if you are the owner of the home then obviously she will be happy for you to move and will then cite you so as she can remain with the home.
If you do own the home then sit her down and tell her to shape up or ship out and give her a time limit say two weeks no longer.
Also make her sign a document that you gave her options to come into line and she chose the option of leaving with her brat and crapping dog. That way she can't try to get a cent out of you.
I think her behavior is terrible.
Good Luck
2006-06-25 16:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by diana h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you two have some serious issues that should have been talked about before marriage. Parenting was one of them. Seems your trying to help her son and she disapproves of it, not only that but each time she does this in front of him he knows what buttons he can push later on when he wants to. Also another is trust, she seems to discredit anything you have to say in the household and allowing a dog to use the bathroom in the house is disgusting. Personally unless she changes her attitude toward you I see no hope. You must ask yourself is this worth it and do you have a bond with her son, if not then you will never have any say so and be the third wheel in this.
2006-06-25 16:03:22 · answer #3 · answered by sweetcaroline 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do u think that your helping her son too much? is that whats pissing her off, you obviously arent fond of him. You seem to be doing a lot of asking or suggesting how she can fix things .perhaps suggest a way that u can fix things together, if shes not interested u may b fighting a losing battle.
Blended families are extremely difficult. I am in one and things are very rocky.
we've been together for 7 years we both have 3 children each, (none together) so its damn hard, im still waiting for it to get easier, but i think that takes dedication and a lot of love and patience.
The dog needs to go outside, animals that poop in the house dont belong inside.
And your wife needs to chill.
Goodluck
2006-06-25 16:36:28 · answer #4 · answered by jordancassandra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i finally found someone that is going through with what i did, it is hard to make a relationship work when only one is tring, u are fighting a losing battle, trust me, i love the woman i was with to death, would give my life for her, but her kids are more important to her, we were together for 6 yrs and split over the same things u are going through, sounds like the same woman,lol the only thing i can tell u is that if u want to be with her u have to accept the way she is, i couldnt, so i moved out, i miss her so much, but like i said it takes two to make it work, good luck
2006-06-25 16:28:52 · answer #5 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a lot of stress- would it be worse to miss her or have to fight all the time. And as for that kid, someone-whoever is going to be the "father" in his life, needs a heavy hand with dealing with both of them. If she doesnt respect your ability to parent him, then she is telling him he doesnt have to listen to what you say. My ***. This will certainly destroy the unit, and ensure the child never resloves his education issues. BAD. School is important, and she needs to whip his behind for those fits.
2006-06-25 16:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by leah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you guys need some serious marriage and family counseling. you didn't say how old the son is.. that would make a difference on how to help him.. maybe he has some sort of learning disability? counseling should help figure that out too. i wish you luck.
2006-06-25 16:01:33 · answer #7 · answered by ixiiprincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. She's rather fight than solve the problems. Sorry, but the woman has dog crap for brains.
2006-06-25 16:08:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no ones going to agree all the time for one thing,her son is her son and its sad she doesn't want your help in teaching him but he is her son,as for the dog train it yourself, it seems to me you , are trying to find your place in her already made family, it will come but you need to take a stand somewhere and the dog is the first place i would start if i were you.
2006-06-25 16:06:44 · answer #9 · answered by billie j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get marriage counseling and tell her how you feel and how some of the things she is doing hurt you.
2006-06-25 16:24:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋