why do guys think its ok to acuse their gf of cheating just cause their mad?

Answer 1

It is not just guys who engage in this type of behavior. Both sexes to this to one extent or another. It is due to a couple of different but often intertwining reasons. First off these people are often cheating themselves and they assume (usually wrongly) that just because they are cheating everybody else is too. The next reason is due to wanting to change the focus of the issue at hand. By accusing the other person of wrong doing they are trying to force that person into a self defensive position, get him/her to begin defending the made up accusation which takes the focus off the original discussion. This usually occures when a discussion gets to close to the comfort level of the person doing this, something which is deep and is wishing to avoid as it is too painfull or the truth is not wished to be faced. It is a self defensive mechanism meant to deflect from the upsetting issue to one which is much easier to deal with, namely the others attempts at defending against an untrue accusation. While the other is fending off these accusations the other is in the clear from dealing with the sensitive issue which set them off in the first place. It is important for those who are on the receiving end of untrue accusations to keep a clear head. You know they are untrue, the other most likely knows they are untrue, so do not allow yourself to get sucked in and there for side tracked. Just make some type of statement to the effect of "That is silly and I will not dignify it with a response, nor will I allow you to side tract us from our real discussion". Then anger may come into play as the next defensive posture. The person may say something like"You don't want to 'dignify" this with a response because it is true!". The anger is anther tactic to avoid the painfull or discomfort of the initial discussion. It can also be a tactic to get you away from seeing the truth of your suspicions. These tactics are what has seemed to work for this person for a very long time. They don't realize these very self defensive behaviors are a core reason relationships fail for them. Sustainable relationships have no room for distrust or lack of real open and sincere communication.

Just remember you have not done what you are being accused of there for there is not a reason to get all upset and flustered. Stay firm in your resolve to discuss the real issue at hand. Don't allow the delaying and deflecting techniques to work. Be patient, as understanding as possible, let your spouse know you love and respect the whole person and that there is real safety in the union.

However, if your spouse is cheating this is something you really need to discover deep inside if you can live with. Once trust has been destroyed it is very difficult to get back. Many who lose trust think it should only take a while for them to earn it back, when in reality it takes a long time and may never come back. It will never agian be the compete and total faith once held for that person, but if the behavior is abandoned and serious damage control is begun then it is possible to forgive if not forget. The person must come to understand the degree of damage done to the spouse and really care about how deeply wounded that spouse is due to that behavior or action. Often the offending spouse will make statements "well, that was a long time ago and you should forget it now and move on". However, it has really only been a few weeks or months and it is just not enought time to "move on or get over it". If a spouse refuses to see the damage created, the harm done, then it is time to reassess the relationship. Whle I do not advocate divorce, I do advocate happiness. If a relationship is one sided it is not healhy and it will not be sustainable. It is best to find out before marriage if a particular person has the capasity to have a mature and healthy relationship, but in reality many jump into marriage long before they have any real opportunity to know the one they are getting married to. It would be best to spend the time it takes to really get to know somebody before entering into a marriage, yet most jump in way before that occures and then must live with the consequences especially if children become involved.

Good luck in learning how to work within your spouses capabilities. Oh, one last thing: If you are being abused, either physically or even worse emotionally, get out as soon as you can and get yourself and your children away. The reason I said "even worse, emotionally", is because physical pain goes away much quicker than emotional. Physical pain can be gone within days or weeks. where as emotional pain is insidious in its impact, with it affecting a person at the soul level and destroying from the inside out. That is worse by far in my opinion. Bodies can heal much easier than souls. Souls can be killed while the person is still walking, talking and breathing, and the children will have scars which may never heal and affect their own futures and relationships which in turn will continue to affect their own children and so on and so forth.

Answer 2

hmm, lets see.

what do you think if your bf wants to hold your head under water in the toilet because he is upset at you for cheating, and he is trying to cool off before he beats the sh*t out of you.

why temp a guy - and bring out his worst

Answer 3

You play with children you end up cleaning diapers.

Answer 4

because they are the one that are cheating

Answer 5

cuz they dumb usually when they accuse you of cheating they are the one cheating.

Answer 6

A stand-up guy doesn't do that.

Answer 7

insecurity