ME AND MY HUSBAND HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 7MONTHS AND IN THE MIST OF AN ARGUEMENT I ASKED HIM HOW MUCH HE LOVES ME OR IF HE IS STILL I LOVE WITH ME AND HE SAID HE DIDN'T KNOW....I LOVE THIS MAN WITH ALL MY HEART AND HE HAS BEEN HURTING MY SO MUCH LATELY...I JUST DO'T KNOW WHAT TO DO I JUST WANNA DIE....WHAT SHOULD I DO?
2006-06-25 06:30:31 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
THE THING IS I DON'T THINK HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME ANYMORE...HE WON'T TALK TO ME AND HE WONT EVEN STAY IN THE SAME ROOM WITH ME
2006-06-25 14:51:00 · update #1
I was married for 11 months when my wife and I had a a real blow out. I went home to Gram's house. After a cup of tea and my crying the Blues to Gram she told me life and love isn't easy go home to your wife.
We have had many battles since but three children and twenty seven years later we are still arguing.
Don't rush into anything drastic.It takes time for a couple to truly form a union. Communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. Our world is too disposable. Love shouldn't be.
I must admit "He has been hurting me so much lately" leaves alot open to the imagination. No one should tolerate physical and/or mental abuse. However mis-spoken words in anger are regretable and can be painful. Only you can decide if they are forgivable.
2006-06-25 13:54:19 · answer #1 · answered by Bigguy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all say things in the heat of an argument that we don't mean. I am sure that you have said things that hurt him as well. Get to the bottom of what you are arguing about, what is it REALLY all about. If you can't figure it out for yourselves, try to convince him to go to marriage counseling with you.
You have only been married seven months, the first year is often the hardest because there are so many adjustments. If you are having money problems, that can add a great deal of pressure to the marriage.
A counselor can help the two of you sort out what is happening and remind you of all of the things that made you fall in love in the first place. Sometimes when there is tension, you just need to be reminded of all the little things that were so endearing when you first got together. Love is a wonderful thing but marriage can be a very difficult thing. Especially in that first year. To get started, write him a letter and tell him all the reasons you love him. Calmly talk about what has been going on using "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For instance "I was very hurt the other night when we were fighting, why do you think we are doing that so often?"
Take a ball or a piece of paper and pass it back and forth, when one person has the ball, they can talk and the other person has to listen without speaking. When they are done, they can hand the ball back to the other person to answer, this keeps things calm and makes you both listen actively instead of arguing.
Leave little notes for him in his lunch pail or in places he will find them around the house. Take at least a half an hour after work to just unwind before having any serious discussions. If a discussion gets heated take a time out, walk away for ten minutes while promising to come back to the issue after.
If things don't get better, DO try counseling, it can help. Don't give up yet, it's too soon. Unless he's physically abusing you.
Good luck.
2006-06-25 13:48:31 · answer #2 · answered by deborah b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't take that answer seriously in the heat of an arguement, maybe he said that becuase he knew it would hurt you.
Let things cool down and watch and observe to see if he loves you by his actions more than his words.
As the depeche_mode song goes, Words are Meaninglyless and Forgettable.
Take a walk and drink a glass of water, get some space and air away from him for alittle (few hours).
2006-06-25 13:35:26 · answer #3 · answered by boxing_fan_4_wlad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not the right time to ask anyone if they still love you during an argument. In the heat of the moment, anything can be said. If he didn't love you, he'd say it. Some times it's best to just chill out by finding something else to do besides jumping on each others backs.
2006-06-25 13:36:33 · answer #4 · answered by Yahoo answer dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I know how you feel even though I wasn't married. Just take some time. I know it hurts. Maybe he was just mad. You know how people say things when there mad. See how he act's when he's cooled off. That will give you the answer you need. Because action's always speak louder than words. Good luck :) Keep your head up.
2006-06-25 13:38:13 · answer #5 · answered by buffyky_21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 11 years. It's not easy, ever. Marriges take alot of work, from both sides. At seven months of marriage my grama gave me this advice. My name is nita too. She said Nita, the first year is like sour like vinegar the second year of marriage is sweet like honey. I'm still waiting for the honey, to be perfectly honest. I favor my mothers advice on our wedding day she wrote me " communication and mutual compromise is A key to everlasting love." It has been difficult over the last 11 years to keep communicating and honestly who likes to compromise, but share this with your mate and apply it, both of you. If your marriage is worth it to you both, mabey it will help you too.
2006-06-25 14:33:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Death is not the answer for such silly things.
Men are men, women are women.
It is very difficult to understand each other.
Get him a book titled "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", see whether he changes him self for the better,
Instead of talking about death and wasting time.
Nobody can ever remain immortal.
There is no such thing as Intimate relationship till death.
Either you have to take him as he is or
decide about the next course of action to make your self happy.
2006-06-25 13:37:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about what he said. It may be he was just angry and said that to hurt you. If he really doesn't love you, best you find out now when you can get an annulment instead of staying with someone who doesn't love you.
2006-06-25 13:33:28 · answer #8 · answered by ~ â?¥ ~ Annette ~ â?¥ ~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well start spending more time with him so if he don't love you that much anymore have him fall in love with you again if ya know what made him love you do more of it or somein.
2006-06-25 13:36:58 · answer #9 · answered by Dannysgirl N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay he probably is just saying things out of anger and really doesnt mean it, first you should find out if he really truely does love you and then tell him he needs to stop saying those things to you =out of anger because of the way it makes you feel, if you really love him then tell him then express yourselves and try not to say hurtful things in the future.
2006-06-25 13:37:23 · answer #10 · answered by jayrok027 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋