2006-06-25 05:52:21 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
too late - destroyed his trust - some things better left unsaid
2006-06-25 05:55:10 · answer #1 · answered by Norman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time heals all wounds. If you still love him and you are both trying to make it work, he needs to stop calling you names. If he continues doing so, it will never last. You are probably trying very hard to make up for what you did and I commend you for that; however, I don't know if I would ever personally get over an affair. It is the ultimate betrayal of trust. Keep working hard. I wish I could give you better advice.
2006-06-25 16:59:20 · answer #2 · answered by Mande 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that question just gave me goosebumps... It takes a lot to be that honest and if nothing else i am proud of you for that...but how he reacts is just him babe...it took something away that it gonna be extremely difficult to get back.. for a guy something like that just shoots his horse... its internal torture.. just as much as a woman is destroyed and keeps asking themselves why? and wasn't i good enough? and what am i doing wrong.. the same thing happens to us... you guys need counseling because if you are still together it shows me at least there is love there that is willing to survive this infidelity...but you need a third party to mediate through the healing process.. the part where the brutal truth comes out on both sides...he keeps calling you names and bringing it up as a means of punishing you..making you feel guilty for what happened.. he wants you to feel pain as he is felling pain.. these are the things you have to work through.. I hope this helps...I'm open if you have any other questions...All the best and I'm proud of you.. feel proud of yourself for being honest... it is the MOST difficult thing and you did it...now if you love him and he love you.. it can work.. i am sure.. this was what you guys agreed to when the words I DO came out of your lips on your wedding day....
2006-06-25 13:04:06 · answer #3 · answered by The Thinker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he wrong to call you those names? If he had done that to you would you call him similar names?
The sad think is that you told him. You were hurting and wanted to make yourself feel better by telling him. So in reality you chose to think of yourself twice instead of thinking of him.
If you had kept that mistake to yourself and suffered in silence then you would have protected him but instead you choose to tell him thinking of yourself.
Now that I said that I have to say I am in your same shoes but I have the stupid man who told his wife. It was a huge mistake and one I will always regret.
Since it has been done you need to go talk with a couples therapist and see what can be done if anything to rebuild that trust. It may not be able to be rebuilt and thus the end of the trust and love you once shared.
Good Luck!
2006-06-25 13:01:05 · answer #4 · answered by dd_otis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you stayed together then you should have moved on. However you broke his trust. Now you may think you earned it back but that may not be true! This is your bed LAY IN IT! Will you have to hear about throughout your life?.............maybe but its far less painful than ending the relationship! Be the best partner you can be only time will heal the wound and only strong effort on your part can mend the trust YOU BROKE
2006-06-25 12:58:48 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife told me that same thing many years ago, I found it hard to get over it still now after 30 yrs it bothers me ,most of all now i can never totally trust her ever. My advice is if you told him its gonna take time alot of time for him to get over it, too late, but you should never tell unless you are out to hurt him. You should'nt expect him to just forgive and forget overnight. It was selfish of you to tell him so you could feel better. Yes I have had a couple of extramarital meets but I will never tell her its too hurtful. What they dont know wont hurt them.
2006-06-25 13:06:01 · answer #6 · answered by Joe H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You hurt him: accept that.
When he calls you names, he's trying to hurt you the best way he can without having an affair as well.
Tell him that you understand that you hurt him, but it doesn't give him the right to verbally abuse you. In the meantime, learn to love Humble Pie.
2006-06-25 12:58:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that! I was called names and was abused another 10 years for it. But PLEASE don't wait that long taking the verbal abuse. Get counselling or something, or just leave,
I told him that he didn't have to be told. Tell him, that you are with him and not with someone else. Fortunately for me I finally had enough and divorce the ***.
2006-06-25 13:11:56 · answer #8 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK sweety i am going thru divorce because of that same thing i am wrong for the names and dont mean them it really hurt me when she told and she was pregnant. so i know that is what it is and since my wife took it for 7 yrs and now she don't want to take it no more and i even started correcting it by counseling and church after she told me she wanted divorce and i even showed her i ain't same guy when i caught her and my neighbor in my house i just said i was disappointed and hurt. so make him stop with names cuz they hurt worse he just dont know it yet and he will lose you.
2006-06-25 13:14:18 · answer #9 · answered by bigt83074 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what you get for running your mouth. You don't always tell everything. What did you think he was going to do bring you roses?
2006-06-26 02:34:51 · answer #10 · answered by mothers finest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he's not over the situation. Have you gotten counselling??? It might help. Good Luck.
2006-06-25 12:56:02 · answer #11 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋