Read this and tell me your opinion?

Question

My real name is Ciel and I am the daughter of Déesse *the goddess*. I am actually about 3,923 yrs. old but I currently reside in the body of a 15 yr. old human girl as punishment for my past actions. About 300 yrs ago, I fell in love with a mortal. As many people know, it's forbidden for a goddess to love a mortal, but I still went to down to earth, pretended to be human and tried to make him fall for me. Well, fall for me he did and a month later, my brother, Enfer (who my mother later turned into a serpant), killed him. I was devastated and refused to return to the heavens. Instead, I stayed on Earth, continued pretending to be human, ended up getting very pissed off, and began my reign of terror (I had anger issues at the time). I caused a great many plagues, and many different disasters happened because of my doing. I also tried to destroy the world, but my mother brought this curse upon me first. After that, she wiped the humans memories of me. I was to live as a mortal until my lesson is truly learned. In other words: I live as a mortal, then die, and then I am reincarnated as a mortal. The only difference is that I can remember my past life as a goddess. Unfortunately for me, I always cause some sort of trouble in each of my lives. Whether it be my using magick for evil, or just starting something. I fear that I may never be able to return home.

Answer 1

I liked it and thought it was quite good and imaginative. The only thing I didn't think was plausible about it was the name for your mother, as it does not fit in with common names of Roman or Greek goddesses. Sorry. Other than that, here are just a few editing suggestions for you. Feel free to take them or leave them, as this is your story, after all.

edit: (I had anger issues at the time).
replace with:
I guess you could say I had some anger issues at the time. (makes it sound more playful)

In the sentence after that, reword it so that it doesn't use the words "many different plagues, many different disasters" repetitively.

edit: I also tried to destroy the world, but my mother brought this curse upon me first"--you should just change it to brought *A* curse upon me first (flows better).

edit: "Unfortunately for me, I always cause some sort of trouble in each of my lives, whether I'm using my magick for evil, or just being naughty and mischievous." replace it with that, because it'll flow better.

edit: As many people know, it's forbidden for a goddess to love a mortal, but I still went to down to earth, pretended to be human and tried to make him fall for me.
replace with:
Naturally it's forbidden for a goddess to love a mortal, yet I went down to earth anyway so that I could pretend to be a human and make him fall for me. (flows better)

Sorry, I get very focused on editing. Good luck, and it's very creative. I enjoyed reading it.

Answer 2

You lost your immortally and are now human. Think!! You were 14 years old last year!!! Next year you be 16 years old, unless your parents not give you a Birthday Party. In 60 more years you will be 75 years old, Hair Grey and falling out. Your eye sight be failing and you be all wrinkled. The good thing is that, since you were once a daughter of a goddess, the gods will allow you to die in your sleep peacefully. This is a Circle Curse that is never ending. Once the curse has been decreed, it can never be broken. There is one way, but, you must wait and ask this question when you are 25, a 1/4 of a century old. The answer will come from a Raven in the Full Moon light. Sorry we can not help you more.

Answer 3

Greetings, Ciel - my name is Shyllyne Marquesa, the daughter of Moat Marquesa, last Patriarch of the Essayud, the true Empaths of the universe. Unfortunately, along with being condemned to inhabit your 15-year-old body, it seems that your playful, mischievous side has been neglecting your near-4,000 year old soul! Allow your human self to learn from the past experiences of that soul. No doubt there is a wealth of knowledge there! Humanity is not to blame for what happened to your lover, and should not bear the brunt of your wrath - especially now that your desire to return home is evident.
And "Magick" should NEVER be used for evil - regardless of the circumstances.
One thing is unclear: When you say, "...she (mother) wiped the humans memories of me" did you mean she wiped out the memories YOU had as a human? or your past lives on earth? or did you mean the memories others had of you?
In any case, I wish you the best in your quest to return. I only hope you'll take this advice to heart: Live here while you must but be at peace with yourself and others, learn all you can from your old soul, make amends to those you have hurt - if only in your heart, and practice forgiveness, tolerance and belief in yourself. If you do these things, you'll make it home - I'm certain of it!
Good luck!

Answer 4

I think your mother is trying to teach you a lesson? Being a 15 year old girl must be awful. I wish I was 25 again.
Why don't you use your magick to make good things happen to others. Actually its kind of fun when you get started. Think about all the true loves that have been separated for some reason or another. Maybe you could lend some assistance to them. That way you'll do good and find some peace over your own lost true love.Wouldn't that be a good way to show your love in honor or him.
I wish you well,
Old Witch

Answer 5

Well that's pretty interesting.

I myself am a believer in past lives--I just find it impossible to fathom that we only get one life, and poof, that's it. However...I do have a bit of trouble swallowing this one...I think there might be a good story in here, like what many have said, but I doubt you're really a reincarnated goddess.

Gods in my opinion (and goddesses for that matter) are merely anthropomorphised representations of the abstract. Basically, they are creations of humans, to symbolize things like anger (see Sekhmet, Aries, etc), Love (Aphrodite, Hathor, etc) and other varoius ideas such as life, death, even to fertility and others.

I think perhaps you need to re-examine yourself and see where the definition of truth and fiction lies. If you cannot answer that, perhaps you should seek help from a trained and liscenced therapist or the like.

Answer 6

There are some really good answers here already from some really caring people.
if i had or have the same type of experience , or belief, or whatever it is called, i would also ask around, and if proved not true, i would have to start living a normal life.
In the event that i would be proved otherwise, i would speak to people who have similar experiences .
About returning home : i don't think any force can decide about 'home' for you, other than your own desire, so i would not worry about that, were i you.
It is interesting though....

Answer 7

We all are old souls, having incarnated to this world many times. The reason why we don't bring our past life memories to the present, is because it doesn't serve us in this life.

What is important in this life, is to learn what we're presented. It comes in a package. You can check it out from your astrological natal chart. But you have to have your accurate date and time of birth. The placement of the constellations in the sky at your moment of birth will give you hints of your mission in this life.

Learn your lessons by treating your every obstacle/problem with acceptance. Face with the problem directly without trying to repress or escape. Deal with it to solve the problem. Finally, let go of it, and detach from the outcome.

Everybody has to make his inner efforts. Transformation is never automatically from the outside.
If *love* has since 300 years ago a force that has attracted you to a mortal soul, your *emotions* are what you have to deal with in great depth. Learning that you can't *make* someone love you, but *let* yourself be loved. Electromagnetic field we all are, thereby attract to us what we vibrate.
Mortals or celestials, all are energy vibrating in different wavelengths and frequencies.
Therefore, my advise to you dear, is to learn loving yourself to begin with. In loving yourself, you'll extend to love all, and in return, you'll attract love to you.

What is essential for contacting with the divine world, is to purify and strengthen yourself before creating an emptiness within. This will attract an element of cosmic quintessence to fill up the gap. Do your meditation daily. Before sunrise, facing the east; in the afternoon facing north; before sunset, facing the west.

What is past, is gone. Therefore, it's not important.
What is in the future has not come.
What is happening from moment to moment now, is real.

Discover your inner talents and interests, and think about what you can make use of these gifts to serve the humanity as a whole. This is your life lesson.

Think about these terms:
giving
receiving
circulate
acceptance
responsibility
defenselessness
freedom of choice
evaluate consequences
listen with your heart
list desires
release to the universe
present moment awareness
serve others

....LOVE that is viewed from a wider perceptive do not limit to a single soul, but to the humanity as a whole.

Answer 8

Do you really think that if you were almost 4000 years old that being "forced to live in the body of a 15-year-old girl" would be a "punishment"? LOL. Wait till you hit 40, you'll wish you were living in a 15-year-old body!

Answer 9

Good story. If you actually believe those words you and I are not living in the same reality. If this scares you, seek professional help. If it doesn't, then don't hurt anyone and I advise you to keep this sort of thing under your hat.

Answer 10

I think you have a very good imagination, but you may have a slight problem distinguishing real life from fantasy. You should write a fictional book about this.